tasonir wrote:Are you going to date her just for the breakup story? What if it succeeds?
genuinely awful and unorganised post incoming, but none of my friends had any free time these past few days so i'm posting this anyway (normally i tell some person willing to listen irl the cringey emotional shit so i can save the good "my life sucks" spiel for tavern). i swear i asked someone if he wanted to go for a drink last night but he "had to get up early", point being, i tried avoiding this fiasco but here it comes:
i want to date her because i feel like i get increasingly pissed off at everyone if i'm with them for a few hours, but for various reasons, she's the exception to that rule. this kind of shit is really hard to put into words, mostly because you always end up sounding so generic and in this case trying too hard to be edgy, but that's exactly how i feel and it's like i'm finally getting a break from only interacting with people when i have some ulterior motive (see above) after at least a few years of only that.
not to mention i'm pathetically emotionally dependent on her. this whole "i can hang out with her and always enjoy myself" has the downside of time without her sucking, who would've thought that!
and she's into penguins too! - which i hope is not some kind of pattern on my part. i think it's some sort of theme among young doctoral students researching shit that they didn't think they would research when they were 8 and dreaming about becoming scientists, like cellular signalling and tumour markers and stuff, as fascinating as that is, to become obsessed again with the topics they did like as children. penguins seem to be pretty popular, or new insect species in rainforests, or you know, you can just drink and watch tv at night so you don't have to worry about how your research is so obscure you can't see anyone but yourself and your immediate colleagues reading it, or maybe that's just because i'm the "cellular signalling" part and she's doing cancer, so she's probably really fulfilled and i'm trying to feel less inadequate. and probably people just naturally like penguins and rainforests, and i'm just projecting! but moving on:
in the interest of resolving the airport penguin girl story, i met her again, she apparently had a good(ish) reason for running off and we've seen each other (as mutual friends of popcorn girl) a few times since. that actually went pretty well which is why i haven't mentioned it here. edit: "seen each other" as in a group of 3 friends, not as in "i met her via popcorn girl and we were dating"
i've not asked her (popcorn girl, obviously) out yet. i mean it's pretty clear i'm completely spineless, and then there's the whole cliche issue about this being a fantastic friendship. we have seen each other about every 2nd day for 2 weeks which makes me kind of hopeful.
sunday night we got really drunk lying on her bed watching phineas & ferb and reptiles hatching from eggs (i don't know...), i spent the night, but on a mattress in her room, which means that we stripped down to t-shirts and underwear and awkwardly avoided looking at each other for the rest of the night.