Donald dialogue for new/improved branches

[sgrunt]

As pointed out here, Donald could use dialogue for our newest branch (Forest), but I've come to realise he comes up short in a few other ways - Vaults (where he's currently disabled for lack of dialogue), Abyss, and possibly a few tidbits related to the new Crypt bestiary. He hates not having dialogue for those places.

I'm therefore soliciting dialogue for our favourite non-player adventurer so that he's free to snark away wherever he goes.

Any and all suggestions, even those for outside the branches I specified above, are welcome!

[khalil]

Vaults:
Another twisted city. I hate that.
Is it just me, or do these guards seem new?
What are these people actually guarding?
You'd think they'd try to keep trolls out of the treasure vaults.
For a vault, there doesn't seem to be many locks.
Yacktaurs look just like centaurs. I hate that.
Who builds a vault on top of the entrance to a <forest/crypt>?
These monsters remind me of the dungeon. I hate that.

Abyss:
I think I'm slowly going insane. I hate that.
I think I might have to convert to Lugonu. I hate that.
I'm dying of starvation. I really hate that.
<THE LORDS OF MADNESS ARE NIGH!/ENTIRE WORLDS BOIL IN THE CORRUPTOR'S WAKE!/THEY SHALL FEAST ON OUR VERY SOULS!> Or something like that. I'm new to this <priest/cultist/avatar/servitor> of <Lugonu/chaos/darkness/corruption/madness/the end/the end times> thing.
The ethereal wail of a starcursed mass chills me to my very soul. I hate that.

Forest:
This place keeps shifting on me. I hate that.
There seems to be something wrong with my map.
Remind me why I haven't just burned this place to the ground?
This place is so confusing. Give me a nice crypt any day.
Who builds a psudo-Egyptian tomb in the middle of a forest?

Crypt:
Go play with that red ghost. It'll be fun.
Any clue as to why the <zombies/liches/vampires/mummies/ghosts/undead/unliving> aren't attacking me? I'm a bit confused.
This place is so depressing. Give me a nice forest any day.
Do you count as <undead/unholy/evil/demonic>? I'm grinding for TSO piety.
Who animated all the <undead warriors/ghosts/ghouls>? All the necromancers can make is zombies.

EDIT: Added more lines.

[khalil]

I know I should probably just edit this into my first post, but this topic needed a bump anyway:
Forest:
I wonder what the rune will look like.
I can't wait to find the rune.
After all this confusion, the rune had better be worth it.
Fauns and Satyrs look almost identical. I hate that.

[khalil]

Is racial dialogue okay?
Lava Orc:
If the god of Orcs rejects you, why do you still pretend to be one?
Bet you wish you could use that teleport scroll now, dontcha.
Mind if I have that scroll of acquirement? You don't seem to be using it.
@_monster_@ roots through his backpack. "Now where did I put that wand of ice?"
Dijin:
If you're made out of magic, why are you allowed to worship Trog?
If you're made out of fire, how do you read scrolls?
If you don't need to eat, how do you use potions?
Gargoyle:
I loved your show.
Could you get Xantos's autograph for me?
If you give me your autograph, I might let you live.
What happens if I blink?

[tcjsavannah]

I still think other uniques should have dialogue about how much of a jerk Donald is.

[khalil]

Perhaps Jessica, she doesn't have any dialogue to make her special. The rest all have characterization already established.
OOH, I know!
Jessica was forced to stay in d2-3 by the other uniques, who made fun of her for being a orc wizard with a different tile. Her dialogue reflects this:
I'm not just an orc with a mask.
I'm special.
I'm unique.
Don't make fun of me!

[Grimm]

I dated Donald. I hated that!

[aegis]

Maybe refferences to older versions/obsolete content? Like; ,,At least you don't stalk me.'' or ,,At least nobody throws potions at me.''

[Amnesiac]

"I hope he uses Poison Arrow" It's a not 100% on topic, though.

[khalil]

@Aegis
It's still totally Donald.
"Whatever happened to those hairy midget guys? There used to be lots of them around here."
"Why are so many species going extinct? DId the surface embrace National Socialism or something?"
"I used to fight armies of bees. I hated that."
"Giant bees are an endangered species now. I LOVE that."
"Whatever happened to <Duane/Francis/Jozef/Norbert/Michael/Terpsichore>? I haven't seen them in ages."

[absolutego]

forest:
"Oh another elemental wellspring. ^qyes"

break the fourth wall in style

[tasonir]

Perhaps Jessica, she doesn't have any dialogue to make her special. The rest all have characterization already established.
OOH, I know!
Jessica was forced to stay in d2-3 by the other uniques, who made fun of her for being a orc wizard with a different tile. Her dialogue reflects this:
I'm not just an orc with a mask.
I'm special.
I'm unique.
Don't make fun of me!

I'm fairly sure jessica is human. I mean, she could be changed to orc, but still.

[Igxfl]

The implication is that she's mechanically an orc wizard who has been reflavored into a human. I'm not sure that's necessarily an insult, though, since the same description applies to the great Sigmund, Reaper of Adventurers.

[Siegurt]

The implication is that she's mechanically an orc wizard who has been reflavored into a human. I'm not sure that's necessarily an insult, though, since the same description applies to the great Sigmund, Reaper of Adventurers.

But Sigmund has a Scythe, a *scythe* people, c'mon!

Maybe Jessica could say "I wish I had a scythe..." because you know she *totally* does.

[rebthor]

Scythe envy.

[khalil]

"Sigmund gets a scythe, all I get is pain."