New dialogue for Singing Sword

[dpeg]

I wrote that line. It is really rare.

I would love to get singing/screaming sword lines from you. Just send me stuff. The current ones are in wpnnoise.txt. Hilarious stuff is good, but honest ones are in higher demand. wpnnoise.txt also contains some ideas how and why the sword acts like it does. It's fine to discuss that as well, if someone is interested.

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

"NI! NI! NI!!! NI!!! NI!!!"
"I SING THE TALE OF (PLAYERNAMECAPITALIZED) THE WARRIOR!!!"
"I AM COVERED IN BLOOD!!! WHY AM I COVERED IN BLOOD?!"
"AAH!!! THIS PIECE OF (SKIN/HAIRY SKIN/WOOLY SKIN/CARCASS) IS STUCK TO ME!!! WIPE IT OFF, WIPE IT OFF!!!"
"I DO NOT WANT TO BE USED LIKE THAT!!!"
"I WANT MY OWN HANDS!!! I WANT A PONY!!! I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD!!! STOP IT!!!"
"DON'T STICK ME INTO THEM, DON'T STICK ME INTO THEM!!!"
"MY EDGE GETS DULL!!! MY EDGE GETS DULL!!!"
"WHY DO YOU ATTACK US?! THIS IS NOT THE LONE DEFENSE OF ISKENDERUN!!! STOP IT!!!"

[VargrVeum]

how about:

"I was a thousand times more evil than thou"

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

"...and was not in a bit afraid to be killed in nasty ways, many, many nasty ways..."
"Come roses or sage, come lovely mint, come balm..."

[pratamawirya]

"Come to me, my noble Einherjar! Battle awaits us!"

[dpeg]

I will add some of your lines to wpnnoise.txt later. For those which are inspired by actual songs, please provide the original title and/or interpret. Thanks!

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

I will add some of your lines to wpnnoise.txt later. For those which are inspired by actual songs, please provide the original title and/or interpret. Thanks!

The first song is from Monty Python And The Quest For The Holy Grail, chapter "The Tale of Sir Robin", Ministrel's Song.
The second one... From here,, section "Music", an anonymous translation of a Swedish folk song, actual title unknown.

[pratamawirya]

"SONIC BOOOM!!!" <-- from Street Fighter, lol

"MURDER IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAS ANY MEANING THESE DAYS!" <-- from Popular Hits of the Showa Era (a novel by Ryu Murakami)

"Come to me, my noble Einherjar! Battle awaits us!"

This is from the PS1 game Valkyrie Profile, in case someone want to include it in Crawl .

[Bloax]

"Sneaking is for wusses anyways. You're not a wuss, are you? Are you? ARE YOU!? TALK TO ME DAMN YOU!"
Screaming:
"WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE"
"OH PLEASE GOD NO PLEASE DON'T HIT THAT WITH ME NO PLEASE DON'T"
"AND FORTH CHARGES THE LIGHT BRIGADE, THE BRINGERS OF DAMNATION THEY SAY"
"OH BUT SURELY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HIT THAT WITH ME, ARE YOU NOW?"
"LOOK AT ME, JUST LOOK AT ME DAMN YOU. WHY AM I TWISTED AND BENT LIKE THIS. YOU SHOULD CARE MORE ABOUT ME!"
"I AM SURE YOU ALL ENJOY MY LITTLE DISPLAY OF BREAKING THROUGH YOUR EAR DRUMS!"
"ENJOY!"

[dpeg]

"Murder is sin, but it will be washed away with blood."
"Oh, the [glorious|spanking|noble] feeling of steel cutting flesh."
"I just love to dig into intestines."
"As long as I know how to carve I know I'm still alive." (Diana Ross, I will survive)
"The rupture of their [bodies|world], my rapture of the deep blood."
"Will you forgive me a little stab on the side?"
"Your kiss, my thrill, your miss, my kill."

"PRAY TO ME, HOPELESS BODY, NOT TO GODS OF FLESH AND BONE!"
"ALL WORSHIP ME, THE MAJESTY OF STEEL!"
"FASTER, @player_species, KILL KILL KILL!"
"FOUNTAINS OF BLOOD IN HONOUR OF THE FAIR BLADE!"
"DIE WHILE I'M SINGING!"
"KNEE-DEEP IN BLOOD AND GOING STRONG!"
"PENTATONIC SLAUGHTER!" (Mortalized)

[TehDruid]

I have no idea what is best so here's a bunch of random stuff.

CHATTER

"You know, I can teach you how to make many instruments out of all those corpses... Then you could make your self useful and accompany me in my songs. Hey, are you listening?! I AM TALKING TO YOU!"
"Jessica and Sigmund, sitting in a tree..."
"So, I heard Tukima, Iskenderun and Olgreb were once in a pub having a drinking contest. I don't need to explain who won, do I?"
"I want to meet the serpentine blade! Take me to Pandemonium! NOW!!!"
"Sticks and stones won't break my bones, but slimes oh how I fear those..."
"Hydra head multiplication is a favourite hobby of mine..."
"Dear diary, yet another boring day having to travel with (player name)..."
"Great job, now I'm all wet! I'm going to rust! Dry me up! Dry me up!!!" - Can this happen while the player is walking through (deep) water only?
"If you drop me, I'll scream so loud that your head will explode!" - Similar to the above one, but when the player is levitating/flying over lava.

SCREAMING LINES

"I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THESE CROWDED PLACES!!! OUT OF MY WAY, EVERYTHING!!!"
"TIME FOR A TACTICAL RETREAT!!!"
"DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME!!! I NEED YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!"
"I'M PRETTY SURE THESE ARE NO FANS!!! LET'S SEE WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT THAT!!!"
"WHO NEEDS AN EGO WITH A VOICE LIKE THIS!!! AM I RIGHT, (PLAYERSPECIESCAPITALISED)?!"
"IF YOUR ACCURACY IS HIGHER THAN THEIR EVASION, YOU'RE VERY LIKELY TO... YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I HAVE A BETTER IDEA!!!"
"THE ACOUSTICS OF THIS PLACE IS GREAT!!!"

[danr]

I wrote that line. It is really rare.

I would love to get singing/screaming sword lines from you. Just send me stuff. The current ones are in wpnnoise.txt. Hilarious stuff is good, but honest ones are in higher demand. wpnnoise.txt also contains some ideas how and why the sword acts like it does. It's fine to discuss that as well, if someone is interested.

Could you elaborate what you mean by "honest ones"? Do you mean genuine submissions, or lines that are somehow "honest" in terms of what's happening in game?

Here's some attempts:

"BETTER A MONSTER IN FRONT OF ME THAN A FRONTAL MONSTROSITY"

"STEERS AND QUEERS, STEERS AND QUEERS, AND YOU AIN'T GOT NO HORNS!" (from a Primus song, refering to the movie Full Metal Jacket, I believe)

Unhand me, foul miscreant!

Let me go, let me go, mama mia, let me go! (Bohemian Rhapsody)

All work and no play makes [player name] a dull boy!

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? I SAID, ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

THIS IS BUSH-LEAGUE!!!!!

AT LEAST YOU WILL SOMEDAY DIE AND ESCAPE THIS HORRIBLE TEDIUM!

I swear, if I get stuck in one more slime mold, I'm just gonna - well, I don't know what I'll do, but it WON'T BE PRETTY!

Can you juggle? You should try. Right now. With me. Please? Pretty please?

What's that on your neck? Let me have a closer look! Quick!

My brother's a pogo stick.

WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE?

[dpeg]

danr: By "honest" I mean non-silly speech. Anything that's somehow about music, battle, the dungeon etc. So "fondle the poodles" was not honest, just a little joke. Those are fine (I will add jokes from this thread) but we need more of the other type.

Thanks for all the contributions, lots of fun.

[TehDruid]

Added a few more in the "Chatter" section, can the ones with water/lava be made? I suspect that's probably easy since characters get this "debuff" when they're over water/lava.

[Sar]

"You spin me right round baby, right round" - Dead or Alive, "You Spin Me Round". Should probably be rare.
"I wish I'd pick another to be his (my? I'm not sure how deluded the sword is) killing tool" - slightly changed quote from "Black Blade" by Blue Oyster Cult (fun fact: the titular black blade is the evil sword Stormbringer, the one Nethack's artifact was named after). Also shows sword's arrogance.
"I am a fighter, not a lover" - a play on the titular line from The Kinks song "I'm a Lover, Not a Fighter".
"WHO'S A BLADE AND A HALF? I'M A BLADE AND A HALF!" - obligatory Doom Comic reference.
"I AM THE IMPLEMENT BY WHICH THE MULTIVERSE WILL BE UNMADE", "I AM IRON GIVEN PURPOSE", "I AM PAIN SEEKING EXPRESSION" - Planescape: Torment references, pick one (or all).

[DukeVonBathrobe]

"Now if only you could find the Lying Lute, Drunken Drums, and Babbling Bagpipes we could get the band back together!"
"So we can leave the dungeon now right? Come on, I am way more rare and powerful than any Orb of Zot."
"Hey monsters! He's over here!"
"Maybe I can lull that dragon to sleep with a sweet soothing...SCREAM!!!"
In a cracked voice "Need something to drink...quick! Stab something."
"Why are all you adventurer types always the silent type? Just once I would like to do a duet."
"You haven't happened to see my sheath laying around anywhere? I feel so exposed"

I haven't actually read through all of the in game dialogue so apologies if I suggested something already in the game.

[XuaXua]

New unique trap (ala Lear's Chainmail and that wizard robe):

Cursed -7, -7 Lisping Sword of Distortion Noisy++ Stealth--.
All "S" get replaced with "Th"; appears as The Singing Sword.

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

High-tension:
"KYYAAAAAIIIEEE!!!" (Star Control II)
"EVERYTHING FAILS! EVERYTHING!!!" (Immortal Defense, Courage Point quote)
"SUFFER OR PERISH!!! EITHER!!!" (Immortal Defense, Cut Point quote)
"I CUT THROUGH MAGIC!!!" (Immortal Defense, Limited Point quote, modified)
"WHAT IS HAPPINESS? YOU BENEATH MY BLADE!!!" (Immortal Defense, Turning Point quote, modified)

Low-tension:
"You, monsters, are at war with every creature under the Sun!!!" (Hydorah)
"I'm afraid!.. for THEM!" (Immortal Defense, Fear Point quote)
"My victories add up!" (Immortal Defense, Courage Point quote)
"A winner requires a loser!" (Immortal Defense, Circuit Point quote)

__

I decided to suggest a few quotes from a somewhat underrated Tower Defense game "Immortal Defense".
The author of the texts did excellent work, and I think it would be really nice to give those who played the game an acknowledging handsign.

[dpeg]

  Code:

commit 74732796e66a0420fdfe06dfb1281f4f13eafac2
Author: David Ploog <dploog@users.sourceforge.net>
Date:   Sat Sep 29 12:42:47 2012 +0200

    Singing Sword speech lines (forum)


I used many lines from this thread, many thanks again! Needless to say that further contributions are also welcome.

I downgraded many of your SCREAMS to shouts or just "says". Read through wpnnoise.txt for a bit to see what screaming is about.

While testing, I was a bit dissatisfied with the sword at high tension. (No tension and a little tension seemed fine.) The sword didn't scream nearly enough, and there were also pointless no tension speech lines -- more of the those than of the screaming or shouting type. Will have to investigate.

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

I still think "NI!" uttered by the Sword would really make them cringe. After all, this word somehow has this effect in 10th century AD... =)

Thank you for adding some from Immortal Defense. =)

[nicolae]

nooooo i missed the commit

I'll just drop these here.

"Kill 'em all and let @player_god@ sort them out!"
"Practice makes perfect!"
"I always appreciate a bleeding ovation!"
"Cut 'em off! All their little heads at once!"
"Do you have the will to power, @player_name@?"
"The neck bone's connected to the head bone... but not for long!"
"Steel will triumph where flesh falters!"
"Never send a @player_genus@ to do a blade's job!"
"Lose my temper? Nonsense! My steel will be strong forever!" (everyone loves metallurgy puns)
"I must not be sheathed without first drawing blood!"
"Let's hear you complain about my singing with your throat slit!"
"I don't know that song, but if you hum a few bars, I can take a stab at it."
"Music critics are all talk and no body armour."
"I have an eight-octave range, you know."
"I love putting a song in people's hearts. And in their kidneys."
"My song won't be the only thing that'll get stuck in your head!"
sighs wistfully, "I wish my music got as much attention as my homicides..."
"My voice can shatter a wine glass. My blade can shatter a human skull."
"Screaming and crying is the perfect accompaniment."
"I've heard your voice, @player_name@, let's just keep this a solo act."
"Ugh, being used to hack up chunks of meat... it's undignified!"
"I'll make piano strings from your guts!"
"Sing loudly and carry a big sword!"
"I WILL SING THE SONG THAT ENDS THE WORLD!"
"I BATHE IN BLOOD AND BONE AND BRAINS!"
"HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT SINGING AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!"
"ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!"

Songs:
"Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear, and it shows them pearly white..." (Bobby Darin, "Mack the Knife")
"The pleasure is to slay, it makes no difference what you say..." (Motorhead, "Ace of Spades")
"One of these days I'm going to cut you into little pieces!" (Pink Floyd, "One of These Days")
"Yo, you best protect your neck!" (Wu-Tang Clan, "Protect Ya Neck")
"WHEN I'M GOD, EVERYONE DIES!!!" (Marilyn Manson, "The Reflecting God")
"I want to gut you like an animal!" (Nine Inch Nails, "Closer")
"Straight outta Zot, crazy bloodletter named the Singing Sword..." (NWA, "Straight Outta Compton")
"I stabbed a man in the Dungeons, just to watch him die..." (Johnny Cash, "Folsom Prison Blues")
"It's a dead man's party, who could ask for more?" (Oingo Boingo, "Dead Man's Party")
"So knives out, cook him up, squash his head, put him in the pot..." (Radiohead, "Knives Out")
"You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby! You're gonna die!" (Guns 'n' Roses, "Welcome to the Jungle")
"Killing is my business... and business is good!" (Megadeth, "Killing Is My Business...")
"Gouge away, you can gouge away..." (Pixies, "Gouge Away")
"It's hip to be square!" (Huey Lewis and the News, "Hip To Be Square"... meant to evoke another psychopathic music lover.)
"We are the world, we are the children..." (USA For Africa, "We Are The World")

TV/Movies:
"Today is a good day to die!" (Star Trek)
"MURDER! DEATH!! KILL!!!" (Demolition Man)
"I want to stab you to death and then play around with your blood." (American Psycho)
"I want to see you dance on the blood-dimmed tide." (Millennium, referencing Yeats (ARE YOU HAPPY GRIMM))
"If it bleeds, we can kill it!" (Predator)

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

I think it calls for another weapon that speaks... =)

[Grimm]

"Slicing up eyeballs, I want you to know!" - Pixies

"I want to see you dance on the blood-dimmed tide." (Millennium)

"Blood-dimmed tide" is a bite from Yeats.

[nicolae]

"Slicing up eyeballs, I want you to know!" - Pixies

"I want to see you dance on the blood-dimmed tide." (Millennium)

"Blood-dimmed tide" is a bite from Yeats.

I originally had it cited as (Millennium, after Yeats) but figured that was too wordy and no one would notice anyway.

it appears i was wrong

[pratamawirya]

Just seeing the word "Millennium" here gave me a geekgasm.

Here's some more lines inspired by the TV show:

"I... I'm sorry, can't stop boasting. It's... it's my gift, and my curse."

"I AM THE FOURTH HORSEMAN! THE TIME IS NOW!"

"THIS IS THE END AS YOU ALL KNOW IT!!!"


EDIT: Also a somewhat famous line from Limp Bizkit:
"I WILL SKIN YOUR @$# RAW!!!"

[dpeg]

nooooo i missed the commit

  Code:

Author: David Ploog <dploog@users.sourceforge.net>
Date:   Mon Oct 8 21:31:21 2012 +0200

    Excellent lines for the Singing Sword (nicolae).

For quality stuff like this there's a commit after the commit
Seriously, keep 'em coming, and I'll add 'em.

[jwb]

Looking through the file, I came across some lines that could use a review.

@The_weapon@ wonders, "Am I just an instrument of [demise|death|downfall]?"

Not sure "demise" and "downfall" work here, they need to someones demise or downfall. Suggested replacement:
@The_weapon@ wonders, "Am I just an instrument of [doom|death|destruction]?"

@The_weapon@ grouses, "Silence always makes me sulking."

Better:
@The_weapon@ grouses, "Silence always makes me sulk."

@The_weapon@ wishes everyone in the dungeon [unpleasant|sudden] [demise|death].

Missing an article:
@The_weapon@ wishes everyone in the dungeon [an unpleasant|a sudden] [demise|death].

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM THE FOURTH HORSEMAN! THE TIME IS NOW!"

Nice one, but shouldn't it be the fifth horseman? That would IMO make more sense, since there are four, and this mostly makes me scratch my head which one the sword thinks it replaced. Is it war or death? Probably not pestilence or famine. Anyway, suggested replacement:
@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM THE FIFTH HORSEMAN! THE TIME IS NOW!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "THIS IS THE END AS YOU ALL KNOW IT!!!"

Sounds slightly awkward, and when I hear "end" and "world" and "know" together, I think of "the end of the world as you know it", as in the R.E.M. song. I suspect that was the idea behind this line.
@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "THIS IS THE END AS YOU ALL KNOW IT!!!"

And some suggestions of my own:

Songs:

Nancy Sinatra
@The_weapon@ sings, "This blade is made for cutting, and that's just what I'll do..."

@The_weapon@ sings, "We shall overcome..."

@The_weapon@ sings, "I was forged under a slaughtering star..."

@The_weapon@ sings, "Nobody knows ... the troubles I've seen. Nobody knows but Ashenzari."

@The_weapon@ sings, "I fought the law, and the law won."

@The_weapon@ sings, "Roll, roll, roll those heads, roll them all along. Merrily, merrily, merrily..."

Simon And Garfunkel
@The_weapon@ sings, "I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. It's laughter and it's loving I disdain."

Ok, this is a longer collection from Richard Wagner, (Rheingold), because Wagner is totally what a singing sword would sing. (Alberich and Loge have the best lines):

@The_weapon@ sings, in a lilting soprano, "[Heiajaheia! Heiajaheia!|Wagala weia! Wallala, weiala weia!|Wallala! Lalaleia! Leialala! Heia! Heia! Hahei!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a lilting soprano, "Badly you guard ... the sleeping gold; watch better o'er ... the slumberer's bed!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Damp fills my nostrils: curse this sneezing!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "... for hear me, ye waves: thus I curse love!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Thank you, stupid! Your work has stood the test."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Despicable dogs, put down the jewellery!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Tremble with terror, abject throng!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "I have faith in your faithlessness, not your fidelity! But dauntlessly - I defy you all!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "The whole world will I win ... all for my own!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "All you gods I'll grip ... in my golden grasp!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "As I renounced love, all living things ... shall love renounce!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Beware! Beware! For when once you men ... serve my might..."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Beware the nocturnal host ... when the Abyssal horde rises ... from the silent depths ... to the day's light!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "With wisdom the fool ... is puffed up to bursting! Now may envy devour you!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Too hard for you ... because you're too stupid!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Rascally robber! Rogue! Ruffian!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Terrible vengeance ... I vow for this wrong!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Bring it in there ... as I command! Pile the hoard ... into a heap!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Take heed, haughty god! If I sinned, I sinned only 'gainst myself!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "But you, immortal one, sin against ... all that was, is and shall be!""
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "Ah! Crushed! Shattered! Of wretches the wretchedest slave!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a stentorian basso, "It shall gladden ... no happy man; its bright gleam ... shall light on no one lucky!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a thundering basso, "Many a time have I paid ... giants their due."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a thundering basso, "Breche denn alles!"
(the english translation, "Let us break everything!", really does not work for that one.)
@The_weapon@ sings, in a thundering basso, "Come here, you cur! If you want to measure, measure yourself against me!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a thundering basso, "A sultry haze ... hangs in the air; its dull weight ... oppresses me."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a thundering basso, "Heda! Heda! Hedo!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a rumbling basso, "You slyly ... evade the POINT."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a rumbling basso, "... its glittering glow hides ... runes of riches..."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a rumbling basso, "Shall I exert myself ... against the gnome for you?"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a rumbling basso, "But fall will the foe ... with your cunning's aid!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a rumbling basso, "Enough, blasphemous fool!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a rumbling basso, "Leave him ... his slavering fury!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a rumbling basso, "But for all the world ... I will not surrender the Orb!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "What a thief stole, you steal from the thief!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "Does a mist deceive me? Does a dream mock me? How anxious and pale ... you've a-sudden become!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "As you command, I will willingly lead you - steeply down: shall we journey to the Orb?"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "Then shall we swing down ... through the sulphurous cleft?"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "Here is the Swamp: through the pale mist - what fiery sparks are flashing?"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "Your power lends you ... high-flying courage: grim and great ... has grown your strength."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "For moon, stars and the radiant sun ... may, too, do no other ... than to serve you!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "Take whatever shape you wish ... with wonder strike me dumb!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "Oh! Oh! Terrible serpent, do not swallow me!"
@The_weapon@ sings, in a mocking tenor, "Slink off home! No knot holds you: go your way freely!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a piercing soprano, "Woe! Woe is me!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a squeaky tenor, "Oh, Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a melting tenor, "How soft the breeze ... which breathes on us again!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a cavernous basso, "Ah, her gaze ... still gleams toward me; the stars of her eyes ... still shine on me!"

@The_weapon@ sings, in a forceful soprano, "Irredeemably ... to dark destruction ... its possession dooms you."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a forceful soprano, "Hear me! Hear me! Hear me! All that is shall come to an end."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a forceful soprano, "A dark day ... dawns for the gods."
@The_weapon@ sings, in a forceful soprano, "Whatever was - I know; whatever is, whatever shall be - I also see."

high tension speaking:

@The_weapon@ yells, "I hereby consecrate these halls WITH BLOOD!"

After the crusader's "deus vult" battle cry
@The_weapon@ bellows, "{{ if you.god() == "No God" then return "@_godless_sorter_@"; else return "@player_god@"; end }} wills it!"


Screams:

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "THE SCREAMS! DON'T LET THEM STOP WITH THE SCREAMS!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "YES! YES! YES! THIS is the LIFE, baby, this is the LIFE!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME NOW, @CAPS@ @player_name@!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "THIS IS THE COLOUR OF PAIN!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM BECOME [DEATH|VEHUMET|MAKLEB|LUGONU], [DESTROYER|DEFILER|DISMEMBERER] OF [WORLDS|GODS|HEROES|CHAMPIONS|LEGIONS|NATIONS|MILLIONS]!"

after the Order of the Stick's Belkar Bitterleaf, chaotic evil ranger/barbarian halfling
@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "PAINT IT RED! PAINT IT RED! PAINT IT ALL RED RED RED RED!!!!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "OWNZORED!!11ONEONE!!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "SWING ME [HARDER|FASTER], YOU [FUMBLE-FINGERED|INCOMPETENT|USELESS|SLUGGISH|NOODLE-ARMED|RUNNY-EYED|KNUCKLE-DRAGGING] [NINCOMPOOP|LARDBUCKET|WEAKLING|STICK-INSECT|FLATFOOT|BONEHEAD]!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "BOW TO - SCRATCH THAT, DON'T BOW, KEEP THOSE HEADS UP!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "COME TO ME! COME TO ME AND DIE!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "CUT! CUT! CUT AND SLASH!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "STABBITY STAB STAB STAB!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "ABANDON ALL HOPE!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "SLASH 'EM! SLASH 'EM ALL!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "LET'S HACK!"

Baldur's Gate
@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "GO FOR THE EARS, @CAPS@ @player_name@, GO FOR THE EARS!"

Terry Pratchett, Foul Old Ron
@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "BUGGRIT, MILLENIUM HAND AND SHRIMP!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "NONE SHALL [LIVE|ESCAPE|SURVIVE|BE SPARED]!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "SPARE NO ONE!"

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM [AN ANGEL|AN ARTIST|AN AVATAR|A HARBINGER|AN INSTRUMENT|A POET|A PROPHET|A SERVANT|A SLAVE|THE LORD|THE MASTER] OF [BLOOD|DANCE|DEATH|DESOLATION|DESPAIR|DESTRUCTION|DOOM|GORE|MADNESS|MUSIC|PAIN|RUIN|SLAUGHTER|SONG|STEEL|WAR]"

[BlackSheep]

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM THE FOURTH HORSEMAN! THE TIME IS NOW!"

Nice one, but shouldn't it be the fifth horseman? That would IMO make more sense, since there are four, and this mostly makes me scratch my head which one the sword thinks it replaced. Is it war or death? Probably not pestilence or famine. Anyway, suggested replacement:
@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM BECOME [DEATH|VEHUMET|MAKLEB|LUGONU], [DESTROYER|DEFILER|DISMEMBERER] OF [WORLDS|GODS|HEROES|CHAMPIONS|LEGIONS|NATIONS|MILLIONS]!"

The fourth horseman is Death, which is what the Sword brings.

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM BECOME [DEATH|VEHUMET|MAKLEB|LUGONU], [DESTROYER|DEFILER|DISMEMBERER] OF [WORLDS|GODS|HEROES|CHAMPIONS|LEGIONS|NATIONS|MILLIONS]!"
...
Baldur's Gate
@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "GO FOR THE EARS, @CAPS@ @player_name@, GO FOR THE EARS!"

If you're going to quote, at least stay true to the source material.

[jwb]

@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "I AM BECOME [DEATH|VEHUMET|MAKLEB|LUGONU], [DESTROYER|DEFILER|DISMEMBERER] OF [WORLDS|GODS|HEROES|CHAMPIONS|LEGIONS|NATIONS|MILLIONS]!"
...
Baldur's Gate
@The_weapon@ @_screams_@, "GO FOR THE EARS, @CAPS@ @player_name@, GO FOR THE EARS!"

If you're going to quote, at least stay true to the source material.

Err... why? Of course the singing sword is more interested in the ears than the eyes.

[dpeg]

jwb: Awesome list, I will get to that at some point (the latest next week). Many, many thanks! Also for going through the old stuff.

Regarding fourth/fifth: Yes, Death is the fourth rider and the Sword paints itself as that one. I believe the line works either way.

[BlackSheep]

Err... why? Of course the singing sword is more interested in the ears than the eyes.

If they have no ears, how can they hear him??

[jwb]

Their ghosts will hear, bound to follow and listen for all of eternity. Pity them! For their suffering is like unto that of Xom's super extra favourite teddybear's.

[rebthor]

Err... why? Of course the singing sword is more interested in the ears than the eyes.

If they have no ears, how can they hear him??

"WRONG! Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, 'Dear God! What is that thing?' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever."
-- Princess Bride, although I'm not sure how to adapt this to the screaming sword.

What I was thinking was "I GO UP TO ELEVEN!" which is a reference to Nigel Tufnel in Spinal Tap. In addition it's relevant to the fact that the screaming sword really does go up to eleven.

[jamezq]

* "My last owner was a better fighter then you."
* "This is a scary situation."
* "AIR BENDING SLICE!"
* "You should really be watching your eating habits"
* *sobs* "My last owner was a xom worshiper"
* "And then I'll slice his head off right when he gets to the orb, oops, did I say that out loud?"
* "So, how much ale did you have before you decided enter the dungeon?"
* "Promise me you won't get killed by some insect, okay?"
* "My father was a great axe, and my mother was a scythe."
* "Please don't use me to chop meat, I'm a vegetarian."
* "I have a feeling this is just the begging of a long friendship"
* "For my sake, I'll try not to get attached, you won't last long."
* "You're holding me all wrong."
* "I hear that if you actually touch the orb, you wake up."
* "Yes I'm a sword, but the cruel reality is that I'm a pacifist."

[dpeg]

jwb: It took longer than announced, but your lines are in. Many thanks again!

Will turn to the more recent contributions later, nothing will get lost. Keep 'em coming!

[rchandra]

* "My father was a great axe, and my mother was a scythe."

Is this one referencing Robert Heinlein's "Friday"? Very cute. It should switch "mother" and "father" to match, and perhaps remove the "and" (it's in the book both ways, IIRC).

* "My mother was a great axe, my father was a scythe."

[khalil]

* "My father was a great axe, and my mother was a scythe."

Is this one referencing Robert Heinlein's "Friday"? Very cute. It should switch "mother" and "father" to match, and perhaps remove the "and" (it's in the book both ways, IIRC).

* "My mother was a great axe, my father was a scythe."

I think It's monty pythons father was a hampster thing.

[Jeremiah]

I don't know the complete list of what's already in, but:

"Nobody expects the Singing Sword!" (Adapted from Monty Python, obviously.)
"He hath loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword" (the Battle Hymn of the Republic, Julia Ward Howe.)

[Lyrick]

<Once per game, a small chance to say this when seeing a unique>
"Come, let us finish this charade!" -- Frog to Magus, Chrono Trigger
The Sword begins humming ominously.

As if the Sword had met this particular character before, and this was a rematch.

<Sometimes upon picking up a rune>
"It was all me!"
"Don't get cocky!"
"You haven't seen the last of those yet!" <Unless it was the last rune>
(once per game) The Singing Sword begins composing a [Slimy|Serpentine|Silver|Barnacled|Magical|Fiery etc...] [Overture|Sonata|Gavotte|Etude|Aria| etc...].
"[playergod] will surely be happy with *MY* accomplishment!"

<Upon defeating a unique>
"HA! Did you see what I did there?"
"Another opponent; another disappointment!" (Swain, from League of Legends)
The Singing Sword sings a short eulogy in <unique's> honour.

<General chatter>
The Singing Sword muses on the demise of its previous owner.
The Singing Sword reminds you that you are its human
The Singing Sword says "You are beginning to annoy me."
The Singing Sword pauses to catch its breath.
The Singing Sword changes keys!

[reaver]

Lyrick: It is hard to make messages pop out in specific circumstances. Donald having special speech when he was certain other uniques was specifically rejected, for instance. Main exceptions are branch and god (mostly because of Donald) and Silence (which is already handled by the Singing Sword). I think most of your "special case" lines would work fine as "general chatter".

[khalil]

Generic:
The sword somehow manages to reproduce the sound of an entire orchestra, despite it's lack of vocal cords.

Crypt/tomb:
The Sword's singing echos through the silent halls.
The Sword attempts a funeral dirge.
The Sword sings a jaunty little number about undead wizard-kings whose existence offends the gods themselves.


Hall of Blades:
"Hey, [Bob|George|Frank|Steve|Terry]! Long time no see!"
"Go attack that one! I hate that guy!"
"Would you mind not attacking us? We're on a quest right now."
"Don't you dare leave me behind. You're mine."
"Don't think I didn't see you ogling that [Quick blade|Demon blade|Eudemon blade|Claymore]."
"Hands off! This hero is already taken."
"Hey, mind if I go talk to that [Executioner's Axe|Demon Whip|Sacred Scorge|Evening Star]? I think she's checking me out."

Zot
"We've made it to the climax!"
"This is it! We're going to go down in history!"
"No-one's ever made it this far before! Even if we die, our tale will be immortal!"
"I am so writing a song about this when we're done."