JUST FOR FUN: Monster Ideas

[varkarrus]

I like being creative, even if it is for no use, so why not post random ideas for enemies??? THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO!!! THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF IT!!!

STEAMROLL MANFUCKER:
This bull sized monster has a single eye at the end of a thick neck, several frills, and 2 GIANT BLADES for arms. It feeds off of TERROR and DEATH and can DISEMBOWEL ELEPHANTS. You can encounter them PRETTY EARLY, but THANKFULLY they are INCREDIBLY SLOW. They put the FEAR OF DEATH in those with BROKEN ANKLES!

COLLOSAL HAMSTER:
Has INCREDIBLY HIGH HP, but thankfully isn't that powerful other than that. It's attacks are slow and unwieldly. JUST TRY AND NUKE IT WITH EVERYTHING YOU GOT OR THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN KILL IT QUICKLY. WEAK AGAINST FIRE. There is an INCREDIBLY SMALL CHANCE that you can summon these when you cast Summon Small Mammal. You get the message "You miscast the spell!" when you summon it.

HAMSTER:
PRETTY MUCH A RAT. EXCEPT THEY ARE STRONGER.

DEVILBEAST:
These RADIOACTIVE WOLVES can run SUPER FAST and RIP YOU TO SHREDS. They can BLINK and have HIGH HP. They can also SHOOT LIGHTNING AT YOU. Created when XOM DECIDED TO GIVE A TERRIER GODLY POWERS.

2 HEADED SNAKE
A giant snake that attacks TWICE AS FAST!!! It is also TWICE AS RESISTANT to spells that CONFUSE or SLEEP the enemy!

PHASE BATS:
These things will SPAM BLINK, TELEPORT, and can DISTORT REALITY. Thankfully they are FRAGILE. They will attack at range with DIVINE LIGHT.
There is a unique Phase Bat known as ZORSPOINK. He is NON EUCLIDEAN. Phase bats will EAT FRUIT AND IGNORE YOU if you drop it on the ground.

HEART MAGE:
WHAT KIND OF LAME POWER IS HEART ANYWAYS???

DEMONIC SPIDERBAT
The most ANNOYING ENEMY IN THE GAME. They can occasionally drop FAKE ORBS OF ZOT.

UNHOLY COW
These beasts can STRIP A CORPSE TO IT'S SKELETON, healing itself AND can revive Skeletons! They will also SUMMON DEMONS. Their basic attack will ROT YOUR FLESH.

BUG BEAR
PART BUG, PART BEAR. THEY FLY AND STING.

ABOMBINATION
Exploding monsters! Best to pick them out at range!

FLAMING ICE GOLEM
If you leave them alone they will turn into WATER GOLEMS or STEAM GOLEMS which are MUCH MORE DANGEROUS.

CANDY GOLEM
FUCK YES.

DEVILRABBIT
Part Devil, Part Rabbit. THESE THINGS DO NOT LIKE CARROTS. THEY WILL EAT YOUR FACE. Very fast, very strong.

PIRHABBIT
PART PIRAHNA, PART RABBIT. They spawn EARLY ON, but can also spawn LATER ON IN HUGE SWARMS.

[galehar]

Please, stop writing in uppercase, it's really annoying.

[danr]

This really made me LOL though.

[szanth]

Guy kinda reminds me of something. Dunno what. Possibly MSPA character of some kind.

[varkarrus]

MSPA is the best fucking thing.
*cough cough devilbeast*

ARROWGOLEM
these golems are ARCHERS that SHOOT THEMSELVES AT YOU.

VERMINGOLEM
they spam SUMMON SMALL MAMMAL OVER and OVER AGAIN! Bring explosives.

PINBALL WIZARD
Blind and deaf, but they can SUMMON LETHAL PINBALLS to fly at you! Plus they have a STRONG SENSE OF SMELL.

UGLY MCPORKPIE
UNIQUE RAT

PAPER GOLEM
Weak against SCISSORS. And FIRE. BUT THEY ARE TOUGH. BRING FLAMING SWORDS. Avoid bringing ROCK GOLEMS

ROCK GOLEM
KILLS you by ROCKING OUT. Bring EARPLUGS

SCISSOR GOLEM
I can't think of anything funny for this one. It would have GOOD STATS though.

THE VERMINISTER OF DEFENSE
ALSO A UNIQUE RAT

ROTATO
It's a magical POTATO that CONFUSES YOU by MAKING YOU SPIN AROUND REPEATEDLY...

Okay that last one was stupid.

ummmm

DOUBLE DRAGON
It's a 2 HEADED DRAGON. FUCK YES.

[danr]

I think this might be John Hodgman.

To be honest, in this context I find the all caps kind of amusing.

[TGW]

you're my favorite person ever

[danr]

Aw shucks...

Back OT, there are some new and creative ideas above there. I like the general topic of brainstorming new monster types. Here are some of my own, though they are not as creative perhaps as those above.

Gatekeeper - like vault guard, but when it is killed, it creates an opening in the fabric of space and a bunch of demons jump out.

Eye of darts - like other floating eyes, but its attack is a gatling gun of magic darts.

[Zicher]

Eye of darts - like other floating eyes, but its attack is a gatling gun of magic darts.

Ugh ... Almost makes me want a Poison Arrow Gatling Gun as a monster as well *shudders* ...

[szanth]

Gatekeeper - like vault guard, but when it is killed, it creates an opening in the fabric of space and a bunch of demons jump out.

Reminds me of the Phase Beast (iirc) from Torchlight, where when you killed it it would open a portal you could go through and fight monsters well above your level and the level of the area you were in previous to going through the portal. Loot at the end of it.

[7hm]

I think that's actually a really cool idea.

A portal entry that is actually a randomly named unique monster, appropriate to the portal. A giant rat for the sewers, or an orc warlord for a bailey.

Hmmm...

[jamezq]

I think that's actually a really cool idea.

A portal entry that is actually a randomly named unique monster, appropriate to the portal. A giant rat for the sewers, or an orc warlord for a bailey.

Hmmm...

Woah, that's an idea, IDK about just any portal. But at least having 1 portal that generates on their dead body when you kill some unique would be super cool. It would be funny if they died by downing, I say the potal would levitate above the water, and you would ave to fly or lev to get it.

BUG BEAR
PART BUG, PART BEAR. THEY FLY AND STING.

I also like how this has nothing to do with a bear.

[varkarrus]

Okay, let's see if I can't come up with some more.

@ all the people who like my ideas: Hell yes.

LUMBER HULK:
Giant Bug: It CHOPS down TREES with it's claws and will do so WHENEVER POSSIBLE

GIANT SPACE KOBOLD
To KOBODLY GO where no KOBOLD has GONE BEFORE.

DEATHGAZER
These things LOOK DEATH IN THE FACE and LAUGH. If you kill them and they leave a corpse, THEY WILL RESSURECT VERY FAST. If you butcher them and leave a skeleton, THE SKELETON WILL ARISE. And the MEAT will FLY AROUND LIKE IT WAS POSSESSED. You don't want to know what will happen if you EAT THEM.

CROCODILE MAN
Part HUMAN, Part ALLIGATOR

GENERIC FURRY MAMMAL
INSERT DESCRIPTION HERE

BEESERKER
Giant BEES that worship TROG.

KITTENGOLEM
500 claws attacking at once!

GLITCHGOLEM
It impales you with LAG SPIKES

POSESSED FLYING HEAD
Shoots LASERS

[casmith789]

GIANT SPACE KOBOLD
To KOBODLY GO where no KOBOLD has GONE BEFORE.

Lol, this is the worst pun ever

[varkarrus]

Worse than Beeserker?


No. Kobodly is a genius pun. Beeserker and Lumber hulk are awful puns.

Also, here is a list of the ideas I already posted that could actually work in game:
Steamroll Manfucker -- Nice early game threat.
Colossal Hamster -- I don't see why not. Except they don't need to be accidentally summonable.
Hamster -- We have Quokkas.
Phase Bats -- Except without the feed them fruit to placate them part.
Unholy Cow -- Maybe. Except we do have killer kobs...
Devilrabbit -- Same reason as above
Pirhabbit -- Again.
Arrowgolem -- No particular reason, but it's comparatively less silly.
Vermingolem -- These things have the potential to be quite dangerous.
Double Dragon -- Or maybe these are too much like hydras?
Giant Space Kobold -- Silliest idea that I give the O.K. to. Besides, they do have unknown origins .
Crocodile Man -- Or are these gnolls?
Possessed Flying Head -- Yes.

[varkarrus]

POTENTIAL UNIQUE PAIRING
KOBOLD AND HIGH ELF

THE KOBOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

[danr]

That would give us a new player race - the Elfbold. Or Kobelf.

Hated by everyone, these mis-shapen dog-elves are a truly misanthropic race. They enjoy poisoning, cursing (hexing) things, and corrupting living matter with necromancy, and are particularly proficient with whips. However, their misshapen nature makes them less stealthy than their kobold kin. From the elves, they inherit only size and a slightly better affinity for spellcasting and staves than other kobolds.

I may have just described sludge elves though, I'm not sure.

[zasvid]

I may have just described sludge elves though, I'm not sure.

that's what I thought about halfway through :]

[varkarrus]

I think there should be a bonus boss (as in a boss you don't need to fight, is way too dificult, but it gives you OP items)

It would be the Avatar of Zot.

As in, his memories and his power. Like a player ghost, but of Zot.

COULD YOU IMAGINE???

[casmith789]

Also, "koboldly" is the best pun on this forum.

Yes, when it comes to puns, worst == best

[danr]

There's a German butcher shop close to my house, their slogan for years has been "Our wurst is the best."

[varkarrus]

Wurst pun ever.



But now we are getting off topic, something I had been banned for a day for :O.

Anyways, I have a teddy bear in my house. It's a one-eyed velociraptor with flying squirrel wings and an eyepatch, both of those being additions made by my grandmother when I was young.
Can you see where I'm going with this?

[danr]

This entire topic is off topic.

In my defence, when someone says worst puns == best, how can I not quote a pun that actually says "worst = best".

The stars were aligned.

Back OT:

New Monster:

The PUNisher: it makes bad puns, but if you reply with your own puns, it banishes you to the abyss.

[Stormfox]

Back OT:

New Monster:

The PUNisher: it makes bad puns, but if you reply with your own puns, it banishes you to the abyss.

That so is asking for the Insult Swordfighting mechanic from Monkey Island.

[mageykun]

That so is asking for the Insult Swordfighting mechanic from Monkey Island.

We should totally add some of the more horrible puns to the noisy weapon speech.

The singing sword, to whatever it's attacking: "I´ve got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?" XD

[Lantier]

Bananconda. Looks like the fruit until you try to grab it. Then it grabs you.

And squishes you.

Like, well, a banana.

[Zicher]

Bananconda. Looks like the fruit until you try to grab it. Then it grabs you.

And squishes you.

Like, well, a banana.

Food mimics are back online, I guess

[varkarrus]

The unique Bananaconda is called Bronana and drops Sunglasses on death???

Guys. I need to figure out how to add monsters to this game!!!

also once I get more caffeine on me I will do another Idea dump.

[varkarrus]

Homonculus Pawn: These things have mostly generic stats. They will always try to move towards you following rows and columns, but they will always go diagonally to get to a spot to attack you, if possible.
Homonculus Rook: These things are quite fast, but also strong and have high HP. They will try to restrict themselves to rows and columns, prefering to move all the way along one row or column before switching directions.
Homonculus Bishop: Able to attack at range, and also quite fast. They are rather squishy, though. Like the Rooks, except they move diagonally.
Homonculus Knight: Will alternate between moving diagonally and updownleftright. They are all around tough and strong and fast.
Homonculus King: Very slow moving, but very tough. Is much harder to kill if there is a Homonculus Rook, and up to 3 Homonculus Pawns nearby, while also boosting them up.
Homonculus Queen: Fast, stealthy, and deadly.
Homonculus Checker: Wait, what? These very rare homonculi are small, hard to hit, high damaging, low health creatures that will jump over you when they attack.

Eldritch Horror: Big and burly, but they can also cast EEEEEEEVIL enchantments to mess your mind up.

Desmond: Unique Spriggan Berserker, who wields a dagger of draining, a cloak, robe and hat. He will go berserk at around half health.
Oswald: Unique Ghoul, spawns with other ghouls, and is both deadly and fast, and can cast transmutations. Killing him will yield a randart Top Hat.
Yolanda: Unique Orc, wields a war hammer and plenty of armor.
Oren: Unique Human Assassin, likes to throw darts while invisible.
Urkle: Unique Kobold, can see invisible and cast spells.
Larry: Unique Cockroach, is pretty big and not much else
Ike: Unique Human Necromancer, carries a wand of fireball.
Karmen: Unique Demigod Monk, really fast.
Edmund: Unique Vampire Monk, constant glow.
Marvin: Unique Human, wields LOTS of armor, but is slow.
Yylrg: Unique Goblin, fights with a doublesword.
Umbra: Unique Demigoddess, starts off transformed as a black jackal, but transforms back to demigod form at 1/2 health.
Nero: Unique Kenku Fire Elementalist
Izzy: Unique Gnoll, has a sombrero.
Quizzot: Unique Phantom, spawns with other phantoms and casts earth spells.
Ug: Unique Ogre healer, but has a very strong club.
Ernst: Unique Centaur Ranger, likes to hit and run while stalking you through the dungeon.
Salamanca: Unique Demigod Fire and Ice caster. Spawns with various lizards.

[aegis]

Edmund: Unique Vampire Monk, constant glow.

And HD of 1

[Grimm]

For a moment there I thought varkarrus was back.

[Amnesiac]

it was just Animate Dead cast on the thread

[Azrael]

...I kind of want to continue this thread now.
What say you, men and women of Crawl?

[aegis]

...I kind of want to continue this thread now.
What say you, men and women of Crawl?

Do it!

Also:

Onyx

Unholy gemstone with umbra. Attacks you with Bolt of Draining and animates the dead.

[Amnesiac]

After using necromancy on this thread, it's only natural that subsequent posts have something about undead in them