Thou shall speak the tongue of Demons

[aegis]

Greetings thou visitors.
The topic of my post is to speak like thy deamons.
Enjoy than tungue.

[Jabberwocky]

Wrong board.

[Bloax]

Nay.

Thy lungs arth mine.

fin

[aegis]

As is it thy wish, i move my Topic.
But it is my fault to not know how to move my topic.

[Jabberwocky]

Ask thy local moderator of discussions.

[aegis]

Ask thy local moderator of discussions.

I thank thou in honor.

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

Demons or daemons?

[aegis]

Hmmm thay brain of mine has thoughten: deamon sound nobler so we shall use it.

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

For there are daemons of a different sort, those that labour from dusk till dawn, changing that which is unseen but very felt.

[prozacelf]

Why do demons speak in half-assed Middle English?

[aegis]

Does may visage look like it could give thou information?

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

  Code:

### Section 1: Global Environment

  ServerType standalone

  ServerRoot "/apache"

 #LockFile /apache/var/logs/httpd.lock

  PidFile /apache/var/logs/httpd.pid

  ScoreBoardFile /apache/var/logs/httpd.scoreboard

 #ResourceConfig conf/srm.conf
 #AccessConfig conf/access.conf

  Timeout 300

  KeepAlive On

  MaxKeepAliveRequests 100

  KeepAliveTimeout 15

  MinSpareServers 5
  MaxSpareServers 10

  StartServers 5

  MaxClients 150

  MaxRequestsPerChild 0

 #Listen 3000
 #Listen 12.34.56.78:80

 #BindAddress *


 #ExtendedStatus On

 ### Section 2: 'Main' server configuration


  Port 8088

 ##
 ##  SSL Support
 ##
 ##  When we also provide SSL we have to listen to the
 ##  standard HTTP port (see above) and to the HTTPS port
 ##
  <IfDefine SSL>
  Listen 8088
  Listen 443
  </IfDefine>

  User www
  Group www

  ServerAdmin webmaster@ns.mynet.home

  ServerName ns.mynet.home

  DocumentRoot "/apache/htdocs"

  <Directory />
      Options FollowSymLinks
      AllowOverride None
  </Directory>


  <Directory "/apache/htdocs">

      Options Indexes FollowSymLinks MultiViews

      AllowOverride None

      Order allow,deny
      Allow from all
  </Directory>

  <IfModule mod_userdir.c>
      UserDir public_html
  </IfModule>

 #<Directory /home/*/public_html>
 #</Directory>

  <IfModule mod_dir.c>
      DirectoryIndex index.html
  </IfModule>

  AccessFileName .htaccess

  <Files ~ "^\.ht">
      Order allow,deny
      Deny from all
  </Files>

 #CacheNegotiatedDocs

  UseCanonicalName On

  <IfModule mod_mime.c>
      TypesConfig /apache/conf/mime.types
  </IfModule>

  DefaultType text/plain

  <IfModule mod_mime_magic.c>
      MIMEMagicFile /apache/conf/magic
  </IfModule>

  HostnameLookups Off

  ErrorLog /apache/var/logs/error_log

  LogLevel warn

  LogFormat "%h %l %u %t \"%r\" %>s %b \"%{Referer}i\" \"%{User-Agent}i\"" combined
  LogFormat "%h %l %u %t \"%r\" %>s %b" common
  LogFormat "%{Referer}i -> %U" referer
  LogFormat "%{User-agent}i" agent

  CustomLog /apache/var/logs/access_log common

 #CustomLog /apache/var/logs/referer_log referer
 #CustomLog /apache/var/logs/agent_log agent

 #CustomLog /apache/var/logs/access_log combined

  ServerSignature On

  <IfModule mod_alias.c>

      Alias /icons/ "/apache/icons/"

      <Directory "/apache/icons">
          Options Indexes MultiViews
          AllowOverride None
          Order allow,deny
          Allow from all
      </Directory>

      ScriptAlias /cgi-bin/ "/apache/cgi-bin/"

      <Directory "/apache/cgi-bin">
          AllowOverride None
          Options None
          Order allow,deny
          Allow from all
      </Directory>

  </IfModule>


  <IfModule mod_autoindex.c>

      IndexOptions FancyIndexing

      AddIconByEncoding (CMP,/icons/compressed.gif) x-compress x-gzip

      AddIconByType (TXT,/icons/text.gif) text/*
      AddIconByType (IMG,/icons/image2.gif) image/*
      AddIconByType (SND,/icons/sound2.gif) audio/*
      AddIconByType (VID,/icons/movie.gif) video/*

      AddIcon /icons/binary.gif .bin .exe
      AddIcon /icons/binhex.gif .hqx
      AddIcon /icons/tar.gif .tar
      AddIcon /icons/world2.gif .wrl .wrl.gz .vrml .vrm .iv
      AddIcon /icons/compressed.gif .Z .z .tgz .gz .zip
      AddIcon /icons/a.gif .ps .ai .eps
      AddIcon /icons/layout.gif .html .shtml .htm .pdf
      AddIcon /icons/text.gif .txt
      AddIcon /icons/c.gif .c
      AddIcon /icons/p.gif .pl .py
      AddIcon /icons/f.gif .for
      AddIcon /icons/dvi.gif .dvi
      AddIcon /icons/uuencoded.gif .uu
      AddIcon /icons/script.gif .conf .sh .shar .csh .ksh .tcl
      AddIcon /icons/tex.gif .tex
      AddIcon /icons/bomb.gif core

      AddIcon /icons/back.gif ..
      AddIcon /icons/hand.right.gif README
      AddIcon /icons/folder.gif ^^DIRECTORY^^
      AddIcon /icons/blank.gif ^^BLANKICON^^

      DefaultIcon /icons/unknown.gif

     #AddDescription "GZIP compressed document" .gz
     #AddDescription "tar archive" .tar
     #AddDescription "GZIP compressed tar archive" .tgz

      ReadmeName README
      HeaderName HEADER

      IndexIgnore .??* *~ *# HEADER* README* RCS CVS *,v *,t

  </IfModule>

  <IfModule mod_mime.c>

      AddEncoding x-compress Z
      AddEncoding x-gzip gz tgz

      AddLanguage da .dk
      AddLanguage nl .nl
      AddLanguage en .en
      AddLanguage et .ee
      AddLanguage fr .fr
      AddLanguage de .de
      AddLanguage el .el
      AddLanguage it .it
      AddLanguage ja .ja
      AddCharset ISO-2022-JP .jis
      AddLanguage pl .po
      AddCharset ISO-8859-2 .iso-pl
      AddLanguage pt .pt
      AddLanguage pt-br .pt-br
      AddLanguage ltz .lu
      AddLanguage ca .ca
      AddLanguage es .es
      AddLanguage sv .se
      AddLanguage cz .cz

      <IfModule mod_negotiation.c>
          LanguagePriority en da nl et fr de el it ja pl pt pt-br ltz ca es sv
      </IfModule>

     #AddType application/x-httpd-php3 .php3
     #AddType application/x-httpd-php3-source .phps
      AddType application/x-httpd-php .php
      AddType application/x-httpd-php-source .phps

      AddType application/x-tar .tgz

     #AddHandler cgi-script .cgi

     #AddType text/html .shtml
     #AddHandler server-parsed .shtml

     #AddHandler send-as-is asis

     #AddHandler imap-file map

     #AddHandler type-map var

  </IfModule>


 #MetaDir .web

 #MetaSuffix .meta

 #ErrorDocument 500 "The server made a boo boo.
 #ErrorDocument 404 /missing.html
 #ErrorDocument 404 /cgi-bin/missing_handler.pl
 #ErrorDocument 402 http://some.other_server.com/subscription_info.html

  <IfModule mod_setenvif.c>

      BrowserMatch "Mozilla/2" nokeepalive
      BrowserMatch "MSIE 4\.0b2;" nokeepalive downgrade-1.0 force-response-1.0

      BrowserMatch "RealPlayer 4\.0" force-response-1.0
      BrowserMatch "Java/1\.0" force-response-1.0
      BrowserMatch "JDK/1\.0" force-response-1.0

  </IfModule>

 #<Location /server-status>
 #</Location>

 #<Location /server-info>
 #</Location>

 #<Location /cgi-bin/phf*>
 #</Location>

 #<IfModule mod_proxy.c>
     #ProxyRequests On
     #<Directory proxy:*>
     #</Directory>

     #ProxyVia On

     #CacheRoot "/apache/var/proxy"
     #CacheSize 5
     #CacheGcInterval 4
     #CacheMaxExpire 24
     #CacheLastModifiedFactor 0.1
     #CacheDefaultExpire 1
     #NoCache a_domain.com another_domain.edu joes.garage_sale.com

 #</IfModule>
 #
 # your Hello.pm script for mod-perl testing ; otherwise comment out!
  <Location /hello>
    SetHandler perl-script
 
    PerlHandler Apache::Hello
  </Location>

 ### Section 3: Virtual Hosts

 #NameVirtualHost 12.34.56.78:80
 #NameVirtualHost 12.34.56.78

 #<VirtualHost ip.address.of.host.some_domain.com>
 #</VirtualHost>

 #<VirtualHost _default_:*>
 #</VirtualHost>

 ##
 ##  SSL Global Context
 ##
 ##  All SSL configuration in this context applies both to
 ##  the main server and all SSL-enabled virtual hosts.
 ##

  <IfDefine SSL>
  AddType application/x-x509-ca-cert .crt
  AddType application/x-pkcs7-crl    .crl
  </IfDefine>

  <IfModule mod_ssl.c>

  SSLPassPhraseDialog  builtin

 #SSLSessionCache        none
 #SSLSessionCache        shm:/apache/var/logs/ssl_scache(512000)
  SSLSessionCache         dbm:/apache/var/logs/ssl_scache
  SSLSessionCacheTimeout  300

  SSLMutex  file:/apache/var/logs/ssl_mutex

  SSLRandomSeed startup builtin
  SSLRandomSeed connect builtin
 #SSLRandomSeed startup file:/dev/random  512
 #SSLRandomSeed startup file:/dev/urandom 512
 #SSLRandomSeed connect file:/dev/random  512
 #SSLRandomSeed connect file:/dev/urandom 512

  SSLLog      /apache/var/logs/ssl_engine_log
  SSLLogLevel info

  </IfModule>

  <IfDefine SSL>

 ##
 ## SSL Virtual Host Context
 ##

  <VirtualHost _default_:443>

  DocumentRoot "/apache/htdocs"
  ServerName ns.mynet.home
  ServerAdmin asis@ns.mynet.home
  ErrorLog /apache/var/logs/error_log
  TransferLog /apache/var/logs/access_log

  SSLEngine on

  SSLCipherSuite ALL:!ADH:!EXP56:RC4+RSA:+HIGH:+MEDIUM:+LOW:+SSLv2:+EXP:+eNULL

  SSLCertificateFile /apache/conf/server.crt
 #SSLCertificateFile /apache/conf/ssl.crt/server-dsa.crt

  SSLCertificateKeyFile /apache/conf/server.key
 #SSLCertificateKeyFile /apache/conf/ssl.key/server-dsa.key

 #SSLCertificateChainFile /apache/conf/ssl.crt/ca.crt

 #SSLCACertificatePath /apache/conf/ssl.crt
 #SSLCACertificateFile /apache/conf/ssl.crt/ca-bundle.crt

 #SSLCARevocationPath /apache/conf/ssl.crl
 #SSLCARevocationFile /apache/conf/ssl.crl/ca-bundle.crl

 #SSLVerifyClient require
 #SSLVerifyDepth  10

 #<Location />
 #SSLRequire (    %{SSL_CIPHER} !~ m/^(EXP|NULL)-/ \
 #</Location>

 #SSLOptions +FakeBasicAuth +ExportCertData +CompatEnvVars +StrictRequire
  <Files ~ "\.(cgi|shtml|phtml|php3?)$">
      SSLOptions +StdEnvVars
  </Files>
  <Directory "/apache/cgi-bin">
      SSLOptions +StdEnvVars
  </Directory>

  SetEnvIf User-Agent ".*MSIE.*" \
           nokeepalive ssl-unclean-shutdown \
           downgrade-1.0 force-response-1.0

  CustomLog /apache/var/logs/ssl_request_log \
            "%t %h %{SSL_PROTOCOL}x %{SSL_CIPHER}x \"%r\" %b"

  </VirtualHost>

  </IfDefine>

[pratamawirya]

snip

long post myo strikes again

[cerebovssquire]

Why do demons speak in half-assed Middle English?

If an unwilling student is forced to read Chaucer in school, slowly his heart becomes black and corrupted, imbued with only one purpose: to take revenge on the bastard that wrote this to torture me 500 years after his death. Thus demons are born.

long post myo strikes again

Well it was on-topic this time...

[prozacelf]

That makes perfect sense. Chaucer has corrupted better men than I....

[cerebovssquire]

The Canterbury Tales is one of these books that strings you along by providing you with (medieval and very short) sex scences in regular intervals, which seems to be a good marketing strategy considering A Song of Ice and Fire's sucess

(I actually like Chaucer, but that's the kind of thing you never say aloud in a classroom setting)

[giygas]

The Canterbury Tales is one of these books that strings you along by providing you with (medieval and very short) sex scences in regular intervals, which seems to be a good marketing strategy considering A Song of Ice and Fire's sucess

(I actually like Chaucer, but that's the kind of thing you never say aloud in a classroom setting)

A man sitteth reading The Canterbury Tales, and sipping his Earl Grey. Quoth his wife: "What havest thou?" Respondest he:"Just my cup and Chaucer".

[Psiweapon]

Scamper, thou fat horselover!

[and into]

(Uggg I need to do a much better job of moderating strangers' corner.)

[Hirsch I]

damn, now we lost our corner for revolutionary, unmoderated ideas. foiled again!

[cerebovssquire]

in my favourite cafe they have a big poster that looks really cool and says that they have "uncensored literature" and i want to ask them about it, but i'm afraid instead of radical life-changing ideas i'll get some really weird porn, not that they're mutually exclusive i guess

[Psiweapon]

Maybe it's an advertisement for the patron's novel.

[tedric]

in my favourite cafe they have a big poster that looks really cool and says that they have "uncensored literature" and i want to ask them about it, but i'm afraid instead of radical life-changing ideas i'll get some really weird porn, not that they're mutually exclusive i guess

Love in the Time of Furry Watersports Tentacle Porn: A memoir of passion, perversion, and the radical, life-changing ideas the government doesn't want you to masturbate to

[cerebovssquire]

an erotic tragedy in which stalin goes mad with jealousy because lenin and trotsky are a couple, arranges the death of lenin (the government didn't tell you about that bit, did they!), but trotsky rejects him even after lenin's death and then, inevitably, the icepick

[duvessa]

a long time ago when i was like 15 i had a dream that willy wonka introduced me to a statue of a woman, then left us alone for a while. the statue could talk, so we talked for a while, and we really liked each other, and eventually the statue and me fell in love, and we wanted to have sex, but we couldn’t because she was a statue and couldn’t move. so that made us sad. but it was just as well anyway since i was below the age of consent when i had that dream, so it technically would have been statuetory rape

[Sar]

so this is the real reason you don't like Statue Form

[Psiweapon]

a long time ago when i was like 15 i had a dream that willy wonka introduced me to a statue of a woman, then left us alone for a while. the statue could talk, so we talked for a while, and we really liked each other, and eventually the statue and me fell in love, and we wanted to have sex, but we couldn’t because she was a statue and couldn’t move. so that made us sad. but it was just as well anyway since i was below the age of consent when i had that dream, so it technically would have been statuetory rape

*RIMSHOT!*