Who is mr. Cerebov?

[Grimm]

Why do you find the Sharon Fruit so weak? It's been heavily buffed in trunk you know.

[Confidence Interval]

I don't play me no trunk, man. I keep it real.

[Grimm]

Trunk is realler than you can possibly imagine.

[Confidence Interval]

Yeah, as those kick-ass sharon fruit demonstrate. As if.

[Grimm]

Have you ever had a sharon fruit all up in yo grill?

[Confidence Interval]

I think maybe I once got a seed stuck between my teeth after I'd eaten one. That does not lead me to think of the SF as particularly hench. I can't really see one standing up to a pineapple, for example.

[Stormfox]

The ogre hits you with a giant spiked club! You leave the dungeon in shame...

(I can't be bothered to find the original post to quote but yeah, it's been discussed before)

Surprised nobody jumped on this the first time (I want to say it was around 2011), but that's just the Crawl / Kingdom of Loathing crossover that some folks seem to be angling for.

[pratamawirya]

New Demonspawn Mutation: Fruity Guardian

Rank 1: Weak fruit (Grape, Sharon Fruit, Raspberry). Rank 2: Medium fruit (Tangerine, single Banana, bunch of Grapes). Rank 3: Powerful fruit (Bunch of Bananas, Coconut, Watermelon, Durian)

ftfy

[Confidence Interval]

New Demonspawn Mutation: Fruity Guardian

Rank 1: Weak fruit (Grape, Sharon Fruit, Raspberry). Rank 2: Medium fruit (Tangerine, single Banana, bunch of Grapes). Rank 3: Powerful fruit (Bunch of Bananas, Coconut, Watermelon, Durian)

ftfy

OK, I'm with you there. I once bought one while living in a small apartment and had to store it in the stairwell until I grew too embarrassed and disposed of it (somewhere far away).

[Jabberwocky]

The one time I brought home a durian, it was emitting miasma. How do you eat them?

[pratamawirya]

lol, miasma, spiny skin, what else could you ask for?

[cerebovssquire]

The one time I brought home a durian, it was emitting miasma

imo try to pick up girls that don't order beans when you take them out to dinner

[Grimm]

Are you accusing him of having made love to a durian?

[cerebovssquire]

i admit, i didn't know what a durian looks like, so i googled it... i hope the mental picture of having sex with one isn't as painful to you guys as it is to me, sorry for even mentioning it

[Confidence Interval]

Shortcomings of the internet, #1: the most notable thing about a durian isn't the way it looks but its smell, which is remarkable, and you can't experience that online. (It actually tastes very good, though: vaguely similar to custard.)

[Jabberwocky]

What kind of custard?

[Confidence Interval]

Any kind you like.

[Grimm]

How can a thing smell bad but taste good? That doesn't happen.

[BlackSheep]

Ever smelled a cow?

[Grimm]

The meat of the cow smells fine. I'd guess that maybe the skin of the durian smells foul, but the flesh smells (and tastes) nice. But that raises the question of why they sell whole durians - why not process the flesh out and sell that?

[BlackSheep]

Apples and bananas turn brown very quickly if you take off their skin, but keep for a long time if you don't.

[pratamawirya]

No, it's the flesh that smells awful. But maybe this is a case of personal taste, since some people actually like the odor (I think I'm on the neutral side, though; I don't like it but don't really mind it either since I thoroughly enjoy what comes after it ).

[some12fat2move]

How can a thing smell bad but taste good? That doesn't happen.

Yes it does: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/9528936/Why-does-coffee-never-taste-as-good-as-it-smells.html

[Jabberwocky]

That's the opposite. Coffee smells good, but tastes bad.

[Grimm]

Yes but the article discusses the other situation too, cheeses that smell bad but taste good (I know of no such cheeses myself). I knew that "taste" is mostly smell, which is why I couldn't believe that durians taste good. But this information that

The receptors, which relay messages to our brain, react to odours differently depending on which direction they are moving in.

is entirely new to me. It would explain the durian phenomenon - assuming it is not a question of acquired taste, as pratamawirya suggests.

I once had some Norwegian cheese that stank like dirty socks, and tasted like them too.

[Grimm]

No, it's the flesh that smells awful. But maybe this is a case of personal taste, since some people actually like the odor (I think I'm on the neutral side, though; I don't like it but don't really mind it either since I thoroughly enjoy what comes after it ).

What comes after it - you mean eating the flesh? Is the flavour so very different from the odour?

[pratamawirya]

Not sure if "different" is the right word, but yeah, the aroma doesn't really do the taste justice.

[Grimm]

Do you hold your nose while eating it?

[ZipZipskins]

please, please, it's just "Cerebov"

Mr. Cerebov was my father

[Jabberwocky]

Yes but the article discusses the other situation too, cheeses that smell bad but taste good (I know of no such cheeses myself).

You don't like Camembert!?

[Grimm]

I guess I've always eaten that chilled, ergo unsmelly. I am an Anglophone you know.

[Confidence Interval]

I guess I've always eaten that chilled, ergo unsmelly. I am a Philistine you know.

Ftfy

[pratamawirya]

Do you hold your nose while eating it?

Well, no, most Indonesians don't do that, AFAIK. But yeah, you can do that to increase your "survivability", lol (a better idea might be to taste durian ice cream or other durian-flavored snacks first before trying your luck on the real deal).

They don't call it "the king of fruits" for no reason, though I'd prefer calling it "the Muhammad Ali of fruits", since it's really like a beefy dude who likes to brag about his beefiness, lol (I'm talking about the ultra-powerful, aggressive, you-will-never-forget-me aroma).

[Confidence Interval]

It's worth adding that it's not just the particular odour but how powerful and pervasive it is that is remarkable. It is a very strong smell.

[Jabberwocky]

I guess I've always eaten that chilled, ergo unsmelly. I am an Anglophone you know.

I might have to assemble a lynch mob over that. Camembert is not to be eaten chilled, it's to be consumed at room temperature.

[Grimm]

I'll have you know my forefathers gave their lives on the Plains of Abraham for the right not to have to adhere to French culinary prescriptions.

[Confidence Interval]

Pics or it didn't happen

[Grimm]

[Confidence Interval]

Which one is you?

[Grimm]

The Red Indian.

[Confidence Interval]

Cute.

[Grimm]

You're only saying that because you think it's a kilt.

[Confidence Interval]

Gotta love a man in a skirt.

[Grimm]

A kilt is not a skirt. Did you know that?

[Confidence Interval]

They are, in appearance and in function, remarkably similar.

[Grimm]

So are Englishmen and Scotsmen.

[Confidence Interval]

Yes, much like citizens of the USA and Canada.

[Grimm]

What's a "Canada"?

[Confidence Interval]

A novel by Richard Ford.

[Jabberwocky]

I'll have you know my forefathers gave their lives on the Plains of Abraham for the right not to have to adhere to French culinary prescriptions.

My and your ancestors fought then, as my coureurs de bois forefathers were also there, blowing the lungs out of the English, in a futile attempt to prevent horrid grey lumps from overcoming the fine local cuisine. They had the good sense to not get shot, shelled, knifed, or bayoneted though.
Also, please don't ask for pics. A .65 cal ball creates a hell of a mess.