DCC Port to Pen and Paper

[Maximus]

Has anyone ever thought about creating a pen-and-paper version of DCC?

[njvack]

I'm not sure roguelike mechanics would transfer at all to a pen-and-paper RPG. You could create an interesting game in the DCSS setting I think, but "port" wouldn't really be the term.

[BlackSheep]

Agreed, the mechanics would need to be abstracted a lot, as they rely on a computer to do a lot of number crunching. You'd be better off utilizing the pantheon and setting to create a roguelike module for an existing tabletop system. Fleshing out the character backgrounds for all the uniques could be fun, though.

[IronJelly]

Funny you should mention that. I was just considering how it might be done using the HERO system, after seeing a guy of herocentral trying it. I agree, it seems best to abstract the concepts, and use an existing system's mechanics for the effects.

[XuaXua]

It (and other rogue-likes) are better off abstracted as board games, rather than role-playing games.

A good start would be to use Warhammer Quest or Advanced Hero Quest, or any of the more modern grid-based equivalents that I don't know about.

[dtsund]

Agreed, the mechanics would need to be abstracted a lot, as they rely on a computer to do a lot of number crunching. You'd be better off utilizing the pantheon and setting to create a roguelike module for an existing tabletop system.

Indeed; I briefly joined a 4e game that used the Crawl setting once.

[IronJelly]

It (and other rogue-likes) are better off abstracted as board games, rather than role-playing games.

A good start would be to use Warhammer Quest or Advanced Hero Quest, or any of the more modern grid-based equivalents that I don't know about.

It's why i mentioned HERO.

The system is designed to be universal roleplaying system in a similar manner to GURPS. The idea is that any ability a character can have should be defined by the player and bought in points through the game's various powers to match. Which is cool for a tabletop RPG, because you basically build up the powers from smaller concepts. I could build, for example, an energy blast, and define it as a fireball, where the same base power (energy blast) could also be used to define a thrown javelin, a needle fired from a blowgun, and even the ice-storm spell. If I can come up with an ability, there's a way to represent it in the HERO system.

It was built for superhero roleplaying, but there's a whole subgenre of Fantasy Hero books designed to run games similar in theme to D&D, and the system also works well for other settings, with books existing for Star HERO, Pulp HERO, ane even Cthulu HERO. In fact, one of my more memorable moments using this system involved two little old women dueling with umbrellas, and the same system that can handle giant robots in space hitting stars at eachother like ping-pong balls was able to handle the umbrella duel. I once saw a character who defined a power where he could grant a wish to another character in exchange for signing away their soul (which could totally be a schtick of one or more of the Gods if Crawl HERO were a thing).

[kefir645]

That's easy. The only thing you need is to use DCSS setting and invite slightly sociopathic DM.

[Robsoie]

DM : You arrive in a dark dungeon, there are small sounds that makes you cautious.
DM : just in front of you is a big rat with obviously hostile intent.
Player : I attack that rat with my short sword.
DM : You miss and the rat hits you , you just lost 3 health.
Player : But i didn't used any dice ! did i missed it by a large margin ?
DM : I'm not telling you, the rat seems angrier
Player : I try to attack again
DM : You hit it ! the rat misses you
Player : I hit it ? how much damage did i inflicted ?
DM : I'm not telling you, the rat is not yet dead and is not finished fighting.
Player : That must be some really angry rat, oh well ... i attack again ?
DM : You killed it ! congratulations, you get some experience and skills points.
Player : Really nice to hear ? how much XP and skills points did i earned ?
DM : I'm not telling you, you're now very hungry.
Player : What ? already ? i just entered the dungeon and only fougth a stupid rat !
Player : Hmm, ok ... i butcher the rat to not waste my rations.
DM : You get a chunk of meat, looks perfectly edible, you're wanting to eat it i suppose ?
Player : Yeah, exactly what i am going to do.
DM : You can't eat it, the meat is now rotten, you waited too long.
Player : But i just butchered it on the last turn ! Ok i'm then eating the bread i have, but only a few of it, to keep a bit for later.
DM : You're not hungry anymore, you don't have food on you anymore.
Player : But i said i wanted to eat only a part of it !
DM : You can't do that, you hear heavy footsteps.
Player : I turn toward the direction of the sound, and ready my short sword
DM : A Troll appears and run towards you, obviously wanting to tear you apart
Player : A Troll ! just at that dungeon floor ? i'm only level 1, are you insane ?
DM : The Troll claws you. You are dead
Player : What ? but i didn't do anything.
DM : Too bad.

[Grimm]

Get the ruleset behind that into pdf form and you've got a winner.

[IronJelly]

DM : You arrive in a dark dungeon, there are small sounds that makes you cautious.
DM : just in front of you is a big rat with obviously hostile intent.
Player : I attack that rat with my short sword.
DM : You miss and the rat hits you , you just lost 3 health.
Player : But i didn't used any dice ! did i missed it by a large margin ?
DM : I'm not telling you, the rat seems angrier
Player : I try to attack again
DM : You hit it ! the rat misses you
Player : I hit it ? how much damage did i inflicted ?
DM : I'm not telling you, the rat is not yet dead and is not finished fighting.
Player : That must be some really angry rat, oh well ... i attack again ?
DM : You killed it ! congratulations, you get some experience and skills points.
Player : Really nice to hear ? how much XP and skills points did i earned ?
DM : I'm not telling you, you're now very hungry.
Player : What ? already ? i just entered the dungeon and only fougth a stupid rat !
Player : Hmm, ok ... i butcher the rat to not waste my rations.
DM : You get a chunk of meat, looks perfectly edible, you're wanting to eat it i suppose ?
Player : Yeah, exactly what i am going to do.
DM : You can't eat it, the meat is now rotten, you waited too long.
Player : But i just butchered it on the last turn ! Ok i'm then eating the bread i have, but only a few of it, to keep a bit for later.
DM : You're not hungry anymore, you don't have food on you anymore.
Player : But i said i wanted to eat only a part of it !
DM : You can't do that, you hear heavy footsteps.
Player : I turn toward the direction of the sound, and ready my short sword
DM : A Troll appears and run towards you, obviously wanting to tear you apart
Player : A Troll ! just at that dungeon floor ? i'm only level 1, are you insane ?
DM : The Troll claws you. You are dead
Player : What ? but i didn't do anything.
DM : Too bad.

^Win.

[mageykun]

...I feel the sudden urge to narrate every game ever in this style.

Or at very least, the YASDs.

DM: A kobold appears, wielding a glowing short sword.
Player: Why's it glowing?
DM: I'm not telling you. The kobold notices you, and shouts!
Player: Fine, I attack before it can summon any help.
DM: You miss. The kobold hits you. There's an enormous explosion of sparks and you die.
Player: WHAT! How?
DM: It was a short sword of electrocution.
Player: How was I supposed to know that?

DM: A kobold appears.
Player: Okay, I...
DM: It throws a dart at you.
Player: I raise my shield to block the minor irritant.
DM: The dart hits the shield and explodes. You are engulfed in a massive explosion.
Player: Wha, how massive? I mean, how much explosives could they pack into a dart?
DM: It's as big as the blast from a fireball. Also, you die.
Player: Bullshit!

DM: ...as you reach the bottom of the stairs, a gaunt figure comes into view, dressed in drab reds and yellows. In his right hand he wields a scythe, softly glowing with some form of enchantment. In his left, a wand of unknown purpose. Around his neck, a necklace of broken skulls. He appears human, but the light of inhuman madness and lust for cruelty illuminates his eyes.
Player: ._.'
DM: Right, let's see if you make your lore role... okay. You believe you recognize the grim figure from whispered tales of your youth. The man before you is none other than Sigmund- bane of all young adventures. A madman who lurks in dungeons not for good, glory, treasure, or even personal gain- but instead to sate his homicidal urges- to whet his blade with the blood of immature heros. You feel a growing panic, as you realize your skull may soon become his latest trophy.
Player: Okay, THAT'S it. *Flips table, walks out*
DM: Oh come on! Do you have any idea how much time I spent setting up this boss?
Player: *Gives him the finger, without looking back, as he's walking out the door* Yeah, on D:2!

...seriously, I could do this all day.

[IronJelly]

Let me try:

DM: As you emerge from the hallway, you see a statue of some sort.
Player: I'll look at it to see what it's a statue of.
DM: The statue appears to be made of orange crystal. Make an Intelligence roll.
Player: to see if I know what it is? ok. *rolls* I didn't make it.
DM: The statue drained your intelligence. You die.
Player: What the hell?!

DM: You slice the last orc in the pack, and you raise your axe victoriously. You only have 3 hp left though.
Player: Yes! I'm getting the hang of this finally, i'll quaff a heal wounds potion.
DM: As you get it out of your pack, Xom's voice booms "LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO SURVIVE YET!"
Player: Huh?
DM: Your axe flies from your hand and attacks you. You die.
Player: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-

[mageykun]

Player: Shit.
DM: Okay, you failed your MR check. A tear in the fabric of reality opens, and you are swallowed alive, screaming.
DM: You have been banished to the abyss.
Player: Dang. Game over?
DM: No, you're still alive. You have to try and find a portal back to the prime material plane before some abyssal denizen kills you.
Player: Oh, great. The regular dungeon was hell to stay alive in. I wonder how much worse trying to survive an actual hell dimention will be.
DM: It's not that bad.
Player: Really?
DM: Oh yeah, hell is much worse than the abyss.
Player: It's only not bad compared to hell? You mean to tell me hell is an actual branch in this hell?
DM: Sure. *Hefts a stack of four modules.*
Player: Augh! ...well fine, whatever. I'm not going there at least. Let's do this abyss thing.
DM: Ok.
*beat*
Player: what are you doing? Why do you need that many miniatures? I'm not going to get you off fighting an enormous demonic gang bang I have no hope of winning.
DM: Oh, no. I'm using these guys for walls. And these for the lava, and these for the water...
Player: Why do you need to build a map of miniatures?
DM: *annoyed* because I haven't shilled out for all the expensive terrain tiles.
Player: No, I mean, couldn't you just draw a map?
DM: No, I have to be able to move the pieces. The abyss is a formless plane of chaos. The terrain rearrange and shifts ever round.
Player: ...you're going to rebuild the map every round?
DM: Till you find a way out, yeah.
Player: ...and how long does it generally take to do that?
DM: ...up to thousands of rounds.
Player: ...
Player: I fall on my sword.

Player: Man there are a lot of races to chose between.
Player: What's a felid? Some kind of furry? A cat-person?
DM: Eh, more of a cat-cat.
Player: You can play as a cat?
DM: Yup.
Player: how the hell do they use any weapons? With their tails?
DM: They don't. And before you ask, no armor, no throwing, and no wands either.
Player: ...why would anyone ever want that.
DM: Well, you can still cast. And you get extra lives.
Player: REALLY?
DM: Sure, if you survive long enough to earn them.
Player: ...oh. Figures.
Player: Well, what about these octopodes then? Some kind of awesome eight armed mutants?
DM: Eight armed at least. You're an octopus.
Player: WHAT THE HELL.

Player: ...so Xom is the god of legitimizing you doing whatever the fuck you want to me with no reason at any time.
DM: Dude, no. He's the god of randomness. Good and bad. And I don't just chose outcomes to fuck with you, no matter what you think.
DM: Look, I have like 50 dice to roll to work the random tables that go along with Xom actions.
Player: So Xom's the god of giving you and 50 different dice the chance to kill me wherever you want.
Player: I don't see how that's better.

DM: The hill orc priest smites you.
Player: How? He's all the way across the room! No way he can reach me with his mace, unless he threw it.
Player: ...I'm fine with him doing that by the way. He can disarm himself if he wants to.
DM: No, he calls upon the power of the mighty god of orcs, Beogh, to smite you.
Player: Oh. The orc god smote me then?
DM: Yeah.
Player: Okay then. I get into position for a counter-attack, and wait for the next attack.
DM: ...you can't counter an invocation. It's just words and praying. And like you said, he's all the way across the room.
Player: I do it anyways.
DM: ...fine. The orc priest calls upon the power of his god and-
Player: I counter! As the orc god reaches down to smack me, I stab him in the hand.
DM: what.
Player: I. Stab. The. Orc. God. In. The. Hand.
DM: You can't... that's not how it...
DM: ...
DM: Alright, fine. You stab the God, Beogh in his hand. Enraged beyond mortal comprehension, he descends to the mortal plane to punish your impudence. Before he can even begin your torture, your mortal frame is completely annihilated by simply witnessing his divine glory. He grabs your soul, and returns to Orc heaven. You spend the rest of eternity, chained to a rack, being used for recreational torture by the warriors of orc Valhalla.
Player: Worth it.

[TwilightPhoenix]

DM: You find a scroll labeled HARU DO MYUN
Player: I forget, what's it do again?
DM: You don't know yet.
Player: What do you mean, I identified it the last game.
DM: It's random every time. I just happened to roll that name again.
Player: Well fine, I read the scroll.
DM: The scroll explodes in your hands. It was a Scroll of Immolation!
Player: ...seriously? And let me guess, I died.
DM: No, you have 3 HP left. Also, a Kobold comes into view.
Player: Great, I run away from it.
DM: The Kobold steps towards you and throws a dart at you. The dart hits you and you die.
Player: ...WTF? It got two turns?
DM: Energy randomisation.



DM: You see a suit of plate mail.
Player: Awesome, I grab it and put it on.
DM: You start to put on the plate mail. An Orc Warrior with a spiked flail comes into view.
Player: I turn to defend myself.
DM: You can't, you're putting on the armor. The Orc Warrior hits you with the flail.
Player: Can't I stop putting it on and just throw it off?
DM: No, you have to finish first. The Orc Warrior hits you again.
Player: Seriously? So, I'm helpless here because I'm putting on armor?
DM: Yes, but you're almost done. Don't worry, I think you'll make it.
Player: Really?
DM: No, nevermind. The Orc Warrior hits you and you die.

[Grimm]

Player: I fall on my sword.

DM: Why would you want to do that?

[IronJelly]

DM: You enter Arturo's wand shop
Player: Cool. I sell my empty wands.
DM: You can't do that.
Player: WHAT? It's a wand-shop.
DM: The shopkeeper doesn't buy wands, only sells them.
Player: Ok, I'll see if he can recharge them.
DM: He ONLY SELLS wands!
Player: ...ugh. Fine, what wands does he have?
DM: Well, you can afford a wand of random effects with 10 charges, a wand of healing with one charge, or a glowing wand.
Player: I don't want Random Effects. What's the glowing wand?
DM: You don't know, and before you ask, you don't know how many charges it has either, but it costs roughly half the gold you have with you.
Player: fine, I'll buy it, for that cost, it should be pretty good.
DM: ok.
Player: I zap myself with it.
DM: You're healed, but you feel that this wand might be unreliable. It's a wand of random effects.
Player: There was a wand of Random effects in the shop, why didn't I recognize this one as the same?
DM: Because. Oh, and a Red Jelly comes into view.
Player: I zap the wand of random effects at it.
DM: Nothing appears to happen. The wand is empty.
Player: I PAID HALF MY GOLD FOR ONE CHARGE OF RANDOM EFFECTS?!
*the sound of dice impacting the DM's face can be heard throughout the dungeon*

[Grimm]

Player: There was a wand of Random effects in the shop, why didn't I recognize this one as the same?
DM: Because.

Not to interrupt the fun but I don't think this happens.

[mageykun]

I'm willing to excuse any small inaccuracies as a DM doing it wrong, but yeah.

Player: I fall on my sword.

DM: Why would you want to do that?

Player: Because this is going to take forever! I'd rather die.
DM: ...you're not dead yet.
Player: what?
DM: You survive impaling yourself with your sword!
Player: Fine! I grab hold of the sword in my chest, and jerk it forward, as shakily as possible to do extra internal damage.
DM: Still not dead. A neqoxec comes into view. It casts polymorph other- you now have the fast healing mutation.
Player. ...I throw myself into the pool of lava!
DM: ...you can't do that! You're too hurt from your impalement to manage it. And there shouldn't even be any lava there anymore, I forgot to update the map...
Player: Whoops! Too late. My mini-figure's already swimming in your forest of lava-kobolds.

[IronJelly]

I'm sure I've seen unknown wands in shops. Maybe I've never seen them when they're also known, I never thought to pay attention to that. Let's have another one:

DM: You're now nearly starving. That cursed ring you put on before, it's a ring of hunger.
Player: What gives man? Ok, I'll eat.
DM: Ok, you eat. You finish and you see a scroll labeled FLUFFY BUNNY FOO.
Player: er... ok, I read it.
DM: You fell as though something is helping you, as the sroll removes your equipment's curses.
Player: Cool!
DM: By the way, you're hungry again.
Player: What? But I removed the ring's curse.
DM: You're wasting time, now you're very hungry.
Player: How? It's not cursed anymore.
DM: You are nearly starving. Also, uncursing the ring doesn't end it's effect. You should have taken the ring off your hand.
Player: The curse isn't gone?
DM: The Curse is what stuck it to you, the _effect_ isn't gone. Also, you starved to death while arguing with me.

[Grimm]

I'm sure I've seen unknown wands in shops. Maybe I've never seen them when they're also known, I never thought to pay attention to that.

Unknown wands appear in shops but never together with known wands of the same type.

BUT ON WITH THE LAFFS

[IronJelly]

DM: Crazy Yiuf hits you with a staff, you are confused.
Player: So I want to make sweet love to him?
DM: Not that kind of confused.
Player: Oh. I attack him.
DM: You hit yourself. Stop hitting yourself!
Player: No, I hit him!
DM: Ouch! Stop hitting yourself!
Player: Grrr... I go berserk and attack him.
DM: You try to go berserk, but just hit yourself. Stop hitting yourself!
Player: I give up, I'm running away.
DM: You fall through a shaft! The Killer Klown hits you.
Player: What?!
DM: Just kidding! But there's a six-headed hydra near you.
Player: I run away.
DM: You're still confused, and you run towards it. It bites you. It bites you. It bites you. It bites you. It bites you. It bites you. You got bit six times, and you die.

[TwilightPhoenix]

DM: There's a gold dragon armor here.
Player: What, seriously? You're kidding.
DM: No, I'm serious. You see a gold dragon armor.
Player: Wow, awesome. And I thought this game was never nice.
DM: Yeah, sometimes you get lucky.
Player: I go and pick up the armor.
DM: The Gold Dragon Armor was a Mimic! The Gold Dragon Armor bites you!
Player: "sigh"

[Grimm]

Alternative ending:

Player: I put the gold dragon armour on.
DM: You are too weak to wear this armour. You are overloaded.

[IronJelly]

Another Aternative Ending (even if it's not real):
DM: You put on the Gold Dragon Armour. Oops! It feels deathly cold, it was cursed.
Player: At least it's armour, I'll wear it cursed until I can remove it.
DM: A Kobold comes into view.
Player: I cast fireball.
DM: You can't. You're wearing a Gold Dragon Armour of misfortune, and it prevents spellcasting, among a few other things.
Player: Go die already.

[Grimm]

DM: Something happens that you can't control and will kill you.
Player:

[Grimm]

DM: Something happens that you can't control and will kill you.
Player: So how is this game different from life exactly?
DM:

[TehDruid]

DM: You FINALLY have managed to reach the entrance to the Lair of the mighty beasts that inhabit this dungeon! Congratulations. I never expected you'd make it this far!
Player: Well I guess rolling a Troll Berserker might have helped me a bit... Anyway, I enter the Lair.
DM: Okay. When you enter, you feel the climate change into something warmer. You're instantly surrounded by many kinds of flora, some seemingly harmless, other not so much, probably.
Player: I take a step away from the staircase and drop down all my scrolls except fear/blinking/teleport, every potion except curing, cure wounds, berserking, might, agility and speed, all my crappy wands except draining, fire, cold and lightning.
DM: Why the hell would you do that?
Player: It's called "stashing". Experienced players do it.
DM: And when did you become experienced?
Player: Just roll with it!
DM: Dropping this stuff is going to take 40 turns... <rolls dice> While you're busy dropping your stuff, a seven-headed hydra comes into view! The seven-headed hydra hits you x21! No, wait, actually you died after the 9th hit.
Player: ...Fuck this game.

(not quite sure if you can die by multi-dropping stuff for many turns)

[cerebovssquire]

It asks "continue dropping stuff? y/n" Crawl is harsh but does a good job of being sort of fair nowadays. I mean, you can't even die from wearing armour anymore.

[rebthor]

DM: You FINALLY have managed to reach the entrance to the Lair of the mighty beasts that inhabit this dungeon! Congratulations. I never expected you'd make it this far!
Player: Well I guess rolling a Troll Berserker might have helped me a bit... Anyway, I enter the Lair.
DM: Okay. When you enter, you feel the climate change into something warmer. You're instantly surrounded by many kinds of flora, some seemingly harmless, other not so much, probably.
Player: I take a step away from the staircase and drop down all my scrolls except fear/blinking/teleport, every potion except curing, cure wounds, berserking, might, agility and speed, all my crappy wands except draining, fire, cold and lightning.
DM: Why the hell would you do that?
Player: It's called "stashing". Experienced players do it.
DM: And when did you become experienced?
Player: Just roll with it!
DM: Dropping this stuff is going to take 40 turns... <rolls dice> While you're busy dropping your stuff, a seven-headed hydra comes into view! The seven-headed hydra hits you x21! No, wait, actually you died after the 9th hit.
Player: ...Fuck this game.

(not quite sure if you can die by multi-dropping stuff for many turns)

It always bugged my that I can pick up a dozen items with hundreds of aum of weight in one turn but to drop things takes more than one turn.

[IronJelly]

DM: It hits you.
Player: What hits me, you didn't say any monsters were in view.
DM: There aren't any.
Player: huh? ok, I'll keep exploring.
DM: It hits you, you take 3 damage.
Player: But nothing is there...
DM: Well, not that you can see.
Player: Something is sniping at me from range?
DM: maybe.
Player: I run for the stairs.
DM: You hit it.
Player: Hit what?
DM: It was an invisible enemy, you ran into it.
Player: did I kill it?
DM: not yet.
Player: I hit it again.
DM: You can't see it to hit it again. You swing at empty space. It hits you.
Player: Ugh, ok, I go down the stairs.
DM: Ok, you see some useful items scattered around. some scrolls, a glowing wand you don't recognize.
Player: I'll explore for a bit.
DM: Sure. A troll comes into view.
Player: I zap the new wand I just picked up at it.
DM: You didn't pick up a wand.
Player: Yes I did. I said I was exploring. You've always had me grab interesting items when I explore before!
DM: You stopped auto-pickup of items.
Player: What?! When?
DM: I always stop you from doing that when there's something invisible around.
Player: There's something invisible around?
DM: No, you left it behind when you took the stairs. But you didn't tell me you wanted to autopickup again.
Player: If "regicide" is killing a king or dictator, and "pesticide" is killing insects, I wonder if anyone has ever coined the word "DMicide" before...