The Tavern

Finish this joke:

But they decided not to.

(might be hard to get that heh).

An immolation trap has been triggered!
The anaconda is engulfed in roaring flames! The anaconda is heavily injured!
The crocodile is engulfed in roaring flames! The crocodile is severy injured!
The hog is engulfed in roaring flames! The hog dies!
The worm is engulfed in roaring flames! The worm dies!
The giant mite is engulfed in roaring flames! The giant mite dies!

You can see: An anaconda (heavily injured), a crocodile (severely injured), a worm corpse, a giant mite corpse, some bacon.

That would've been better if it was a hell hog. Then you could say some "damned bacon"

You die...

Heh.

The anaconda grumbles, "What's this? I'm the only heavyweight champ here? So lame...."
The hog says, "You know who's likely to be around here, don't you?"
The giant mite says, "They sent me here as a snack! Well, unless you got no rPois, in which case... may I just leave?"
The worm sighs and whispers to itself, "I'm someone's dinner."
The crocodile just advances towards you.
You think out loud, "What are they talking about? And is this seriously D:1?? FFFFUUUU...!!!"

The anaconda hisses angr...no, that's been done.

You helpfully point out that the crocodile should eat the hog, the worm should eat the giant mite, and the anaconda should fight the survivor, and hope that they see your impeccable logic.

The giant mite eats the worm!
The hog eats the giant mite!
The crocodile eats the hog!
The anaconda eats the crocodile!

You feel a bit more experienced.

An anaconda, a hog, a worm and a giant mite walk into a pub...

Yes, that's the start. Try to finish the joke. We've got some excellent contenders so far. The judging will be difficult.

s - the +7, +7 crossbow "Killingyoutool" {flame}.
Quivering r - 100 +5 steel bolts for crossbows.
The anaconda hisses angrily!
The anaconda, the hog, the crocodile, the worm and the giant mite move out of the view.

Xom roars with laughter!

Why always Xom? Why not "Jiyva gurgles with laughter!"...

And the giant mite says to the anaconda, "hey, aren't you a little out of your depth here?"

The judges have tabulated their final scores and the results are in.

Excellent efforts all round. The judges are impressed with the comedy skills on display in this thread, especially from the whippersnappers.


greepish's joke took the judges a minute to get. When they did, they were at first impressed, but then realised that it doesn't quite hang together grammatically. The correct punchline is "But they probably won't.", because "might" means that the action hasn't taken place yet, and thus can't be followed by a simple past tense. Nice try greepish, you receive the Consolation PUNishment.


TehDruid's bacon gag is pleasant enough but the judges felt that it didn't utilise the resources of the setup line as fully as it could have. A pat on the back for TehDruid, we look forward to seeing you in TehNextContest.


My☭theHedgeFox's little vignette has a certain wish-fullfilment charm to it, however it fell a little short in the yuks department. Priviet, tovarish, and do svidanya.


Un67's effort is short and to the point, and well in keeping with the spirit of Crawlmedy of times past. However the competition was stiff and Un67 was just barely edged out for a place.


pratamawirya's relatively elaborate sketch displays a thorough knowledge of the game and its humourous potentialities. Third place for pratamawirya.


Blade's notion of interspecific combat was promising but unfortunately for Blade's chances the same idea was pulled off with more panache by...


AtT, whose entry was greatly boosted by the use of a visual aid. The alligator/giant snake warfare currently gripping the Everglades should never be forgot! Second place to AtT.


And first place goes to...Jabberwocky, who succinctly fused knowledge of the game with old school comedy stylings in a one-line joke that should become a standard Crawl gag. Well done Jabberwocky, your prize is in the mail.

Lol great I look forward to more!

I wanna thank for that, but seriously... my current numbers are awesome, aren't they?