Crawl god advertisements

[Serne]

I came up with an idea for something that seems fun, at least in my head. Making ads for different crawl gods. What started it off was my comment in the Lesson thread. I came up with something that seemed like it fit Chei well shortly after.

Anyways here goes: "Feeling depressed, sluggish, or lazy? There's an answer for that. Put your lethargy to work for you! Join Cheibriados. Soon you won't care about feeling slow or lazy anymore, and you'll be wiping the floor with both your issues and things 30 times your size with your BARE hands. *Disclaimer*:Remember following Cheibriados may cause sudden side effects, consult with your local religious expert before beginning any religious regimen as it may not be right for you."

[Un67]

Yredelemnul is hiring several Death Knights in the Dungeon area. No experience required! Simply go to your nearest basalt altar and pray before it, and the local priest will set you up with equipment and a Black Torch™ so that you can begin your job immediately. Demigods need not apply. Worshipers of other gods, however, are very VERY welcome to join us and change their career if they feel dissatisfied with it!

Warning: leaving Yredelemnul's employment can cause sudden slowing, pain, rotting, draining, statloss, torment, shadows, undead, and demons. Please consult with your local religious expert before considering a job change. We like having you under our employment!

[Roderic]

MEN WANTED for hazardous journey, small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.

Contact: Warmaster Okawaru at your nearest iron altar

[Jeremiah]

God of berserk rage seeks followers. If you can read this, don't bother applying.





YOU TOO CAN BE MUTATION FREE!!! All it takes is some simple donations at the Altar of Zin. Terms and conditions apply.

[Jeremiah]

Feeling lost and afraid? Does the world seem like a terrible abyss with no way out? Think you'll never see your stash again? Don't despair, it doesn't have to be this way; Lugonu is the answer.

[TehDruid]

Feeling lost and afraid? Does the world seem like a terrible abyss with no way out? Think you'll never see your stash again? Don't despair, it doesn't have to be this way; Lugonu is the answer.

What kind of stash are we talking about? Porn collection? Weed? Some other word considered offensive?

[Grimm]

He means mustache.

[Serne]

That's what DCSS needs... MIRRORS!

[AtT]

Welcome to the Abyss, I love you. -lucy
If you don't worship Trog... Fuck You!
Would you like another EXTRA BIG ASS AXE? Now with more MOLECULES. -oka

[Roderic]

Uncle Zin WANTS YOU !

[Jabberwocky]

When life gives you lemons, join Fedhas Madash.

[rebthor]

When life gives you lemons, join Fedhas Madash.

Hilarious!

[Jabberwocky]

Do you want to kill your friends and family and animate their remains for fun and profit? If so contact Kiku... gha at your local bone altar.

[Serne]

When life gives you lemons, join Fedhas Madash.

Y'know nearly that exact same comment is what started this thread. Think I put something like that in the lessons thread.

[Jabberwocky]

When life gives you lemons, join Fedhas Madash.

Y'know nearly that exact same comment is what started this thread. Think I put something like that in the lessons thread.

Just looked and yes you did also make that joke. Since your post was earlier, you get the credit.

[PerverseSuffering]

Both Jiyva's and Nemelex's motto could be "ERRYDAY I'M SHUFFLIN' ", if you catch my drift.

[nicolae]

If you don't worship Trog... Fuck You!

Reminds me of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc (not at all safe for work)

[Konebred]

This is your brain. **Holds up an egg**

This is your brain on Trog. **Smashes egg with frying pan**




(Brought to you by the followers of Sif Muna)

[Stormfox]

Extreme Makeover: Mutation Edition. Hosted by Jiyva.

[aegis]

Tired of demons possesing your daughter?

Call the shining One!


Available at your nearest golden altar.

[Maynot]

Are you tired of the everyday hum drum crawl through the dungeon? Join Xom today and experience ambient dungeon alterations, random smoke trails, or the chance to turn into a dragon*! Xom will help introduce you to new 'friends' from alternate dimensions**! And some lucky adventurers will also get a Xom guided tour of the dungeon***.

*

Spoiler: show

chances very unlikely, transformation lasts a short time, more likely to have your body warped and disformed

**

Spoiler: show

some may not be very friendly

***

Spoiler: show

eventually you will also be given a free unguided tour of the Abyss

[moocowmoocow]

Whether you minmax or minmay, variety always brightens the day. Nom nom that time bomb; join Xom.

[Mankeli]

"This is your time to shine" -the halo forces of TSO