Real life Crawl gods following

[PerverseSuffering]

The title is kinda awkward, yes.
Say, a life of a pious Crawler in reality:

Ashenzari follower: Constantly gets to work late since he can't get up from bed - his blanket is cursed and his piety wanes overnight. This is no problem, however - his knowledge is enough to not only make up a viable excuse. Oh, and voyeurists get more bonuses from worship. For obvious reasons.
Washing in cursed clothes could be a problem, though.

Cheibriados follower: Most probably has no job, which is only natural - who would hire a man who is late for work for weeks? Makes Zen monks look like F-1 racers, though. It's not Cheibriados followers need much money since they don't eat that often.

Xom follower: Wait, why isn't he locked up in an asylum?

Oh I suck at this. Feel free to make up something funny

[Confidence Interval]

Trog follower. Goes crazy and kills people, then sacrifices their bodies.

I could see this thread being not particularly amusing.

[PerverseSuffering]

Oh come on. Say, Trog follower is never lonely - he can call some Brothers in Arms with similar interests!
He is easily trolled on the Internet, though. Raises piety that way, too.

And playing poker with Nemelex cards sure is fun.

[Jeremiah]

Zin followers are always protesting about genetic engineering.

[pratamawirya]

Zin followers are always protesting about genetic engineering.

They also like their meals kosher.

[Confidence Interval]

Trog follower: gets sick of being given gifts of ammunition for weapons s/he doesn't own. And packets of darts, when s/he doesn't even own a dartboard.

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

Things you suggest are just jokes, guys.

[PerverseSuffering]

But it was supposed to be this way.

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

Oh.

[Confidence Interval]

Yes: we are all Xom followers in real life. We find this hilarious!

[greepish]

Sif Muna follower- A nerd in a library "channeling soda" to study for a final.

Beogh follwer- A warhammer orks player. Smites foes by shaking the board when losing.

Nemelex follower- A Magic the gathering player playing a blue/red deck.

[ekolis]

Fedhas follower: Crazy old lady who insists that her plants grow better when she speaks lovingly to them

[defen]

Okawaru follower: MMA champ. Booted from the league after picking up a weapon that magically appeared upon his victory in the ring. Disgruntled, he converts to TSO and runs a Chik-Fil-A franchise until Okawaru sends a bunch of other martial artists after him. Unfortunately, most of them considerably exceed his weight class. YASD.

Vehumet follower: Likes to set things on fire. Tries to set fire on fire. YASD.

Lugonu follower: Lives somewhat normally, though occasionally disappears into an abyss of Crawl marathons. Countless YASDs on CDO Tiles. Real life status unknown.

Jiyva follower: Bill Cosby. Still alive.

[varsovie]

Fedhas follower: Crazy old lady who insists that her plants grow better when she speaks lovingly to them

It works if you change the word "plant" and remove "old".

Anyway myself I follow Jyiva, being a big consumer of Jell-O.

When I was a teen, I worshiped Lugonu. I was banished from many places and corrupted my bedroom a lot.

[PerverseSuffering]

Nemelex followers' rooms are the tidiest in the world - they just stand on the litter and pray to Xobeh. It disappears without a glow. I wish I could follow Xobeh...

People at your funeral will get quite a show when your YASDed body will disappear at their very eyes. Without a glow, of course.

[greepish]

Pfft, YOUR junk dissapears without a glow. Mine dissappears with a scintillating symbol of destruction *grin* (okay not really)

[PerverseSuffering]

>destruction
Enjoy your Triple Draw of Venom, Torment, Venom

[Shinigami]

Video of a Cheibriados worshiper in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejB-jBtZqqU

[PerverseSuffering]

Oh, oh, and here's a Trog follower: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf8cM7f6P2I

[Roderic]

I think that bullies are Trog followers who take please on beating nerds (Sifmunnites)

[TehDruid]

Trog - God of rednecks

Trog likes it when you kill people, other rednecks and the homeless (also known as undead).
Trog especially likes it when you kill foreigners, nerds, scientists and people of other religions.
Trog appreciate the burning of literature and scientific books. Especially the latter. Oh who are we kidding, only the latter.

GRANTED ABILITIES

Frothing Rage - Go all apeshit over some issue you consider sacred and apparently someone just belittled it. (10 beers, 20 MAXLIVERHP)
Grease? What grease? - Cover yourself in a greasy substance to gain a +5 slippery defence bonus to your EV. (5 beers, 1 pork fat jar, 10 MAXLIVERHP, +5 piety gained with the local asylum)
Brothers In Farms - Call your hillbilly cowboy fellows to aid you in your quest for moar beerz, pork fat and the murdering of the innocent. (5 $, +5 piety gained with the local redneck brotherhood)

[Jabberwocky]

Ely, goes around randomly slapping bandages on people. Troll of Ely, goes around putting bandages on the people to large or tough to beat up and beats up the rest.

[greepish]

Trog - God of rednecks

Trog likes it when you kill people, other rednecks and the homeless (also known as undead).
Trog especially likes it when you kill foreigners, nerds, scientists and people of other religions.
Trog appreciate the burning of literature and scientific books. Especially the latter. Oh who are we kidding, only the latter.

GRANTED ABILITIES

Frothing Rage - Go all apeshit over some issue you consider sacred and apparently someone just belittled it. (10 beers, 20 MAXLIVERHP)
Grease? What grease? - Cover yourself in a greasy substance to gain a +5 slippery defence bonus to your EV. (5 beers, 1 pork fat jar, 10 MAXLIVERHP, +5 piety gained with the local asylum)
Brothers In Farms - Call your hillbilly cowboy fellows to aid you in your quest for moar beerz, pork fat and the murdering of the innocent. (5 $, +5 piety gained with the local redneck brotherhood)

Beat ya to it viewtopic.php?f=17&t=950&start=328

[TehDruid]

Trog - God of rednecks

Trog likes it when you kill people, other rednecks and the homeless (also known as undead).
Trog especially likes it when you kill foreigners, nerds, scientists and people of other religions.
Trog appreciate the burning of literature and scientific books. Especially the latter. Oh who are we kidding, only the latter.

GRANTED ABILITIES

Frothing Rage - Go all apeshit over some issue you consider sacred and apparently someone just belittled it. (10 beers, 20 MAXLIVERHP)
Grease? What grease? - Cover yourself in a greasy substance to gain a +5 slippery defence bonus to your EV. (5 beers, 1 pork fat jar, 10 MAXLIVERHP, +5 piety gained with the local asylum)
Brothers In Farms - Call your hillbilly cowboy fellows to aid you in your quest for moar beerz, pork fat and the murdering of the innocent. (5 $, +5 piety gained with the local redneck brotherhood)

Beat ya to it viewtopic.php?f=17&t=950&start=328

Awww
At least it's a SP reference. Which reminds me I still haven't watched the last episode of S15.