The Tavern

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... occer.html

I've seen this article before - I think probably when I googled "quokka".

I'm sure they only reported this story because of the rhyme (at least in English English, where the "r" on the end of soccer is dropped).

Were they just kicking them randomly, or were they playing proper quokka soccer?

Grimm wrote:Were they just kicking them randomly, or were they playing proper quokka soccer?

I suspect the former and that the "soccer" is just journalistic license. Having said that, googling doesn't uncover the rules of quokka soccer so it's hard to say for sure.

I actually live in Perth, Western Australia across a small bit of ocean from Rottnest, the island that Quokkas live on.

Quokka Soccer is a well-known phenomenon; in my family it consisted of chasing or otherwise herding a quokka to one end of the front yard area of the holiday accomidation that was over there.

There are people who kick or otherwise abuse the poor things and this is also referred to as "Quokka Soccer"

Also, IRL Quokkas are really bloody adorable. They have big black beady eyes and tiny little paws. They are also mostly tame and will walk right up to you.

1. They do look cute as hell in the pictures.

2. In addition to Zot Defense we need a Quokka Soccer minigame.

3. mad, you are perfectly positioned to make some sort of LOLquokka involving a cut and pasted Crawl graphic.

Confidence Interval wrote:
I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling on the floors of silent seas.

New race proposal: Ragged Claws.

Grimm wrote:New race proposal: Ragged Claws.

J Arthur Prufrock the Ragged Claws.
You worship Eliot.
Eliot is exalted by your worship.

You wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
You turn back and descend the stair.

You enter the room.
You see women come and go.
You see a peach.

Macavity the Felid Assassin.
You worship Eliot.
Eliot is exalted by your worship

You knock the orc down!
The orc lies there like a patient etherised upon a table!

In the bailey the orcs come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

Talking of Eustachio, surely.

Grimm wrote:Talking of Eustachio, surely.

Quite likely, but it ruins the scansion.

We have lingered in the chambers of the Shoals
By sirens wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till our levitation expires, and we drown.

I. THE BURIAL OF YOUR LATEST CHARACTER

Crawl is the cruellest game, breeding
Rages out of the calm nerd, mixing
Avarice and regret, stirring
Dull minds with fresh pain.
Nethack kept us warm, covering
Fighters in spoilerful blood, giving
A tender mage some dried reagents.
Angband surprised us, coming out of the Warwick county
With a shower of arrows; we stopped in the entranceway,
And went on in darkness, into the deep prison,
And drank potions, and fought for an hour.
Bin gar kein Roguer, spiel’ nur ADOM, echt Spass.
And when we were newbies, kibitzing with the elite players,
My buddy, he took me out on a trunk build,
And I was frightened. He said, stabbed9,
stabbed9, use that scroll. And down they went.
In the dungeons, there you feel tough.
I play, much of the night, and go post in the Tavern.

I think we need a new unique Quokka thats dressed up in a soccer uniform. lol

Grimm wrote:Crawl is the cruellest game

New class proposal: Aesthete

Only High Elves and Spriggans can become Aesthetes.

Grimm wrote:Only High Elves and Spriggans can become Aesthetes.

I've often felt, though, that among our Orcish brethren there are some sensitive souls.

Gronk the Hill Orc Aesthete.
You worship Oscar Wilde.
Oscar Wilde is somewhat ambivalent about being worshipped by you.

...

You move the overstuffed chair into the corner.
You say, "That goes well with the drapes!"
Oscar Wilde rolls his eyes.

...

You try your hand at versifying.
You clear your throat and recite your newly-composed poem.
You hear a distant retching sound.

...

You enter the drawing room.
You see a High Elf Drama Critic.
You see a Spriggan Painter.
You see a High Elf Gallery Owner.
There is an uncomfortable silence.

...

You sip your tea.
You say, "Lucian Freud's paintings are sort of ugly."
There is an uncomfortable silence.
The Spriggan quietly leaves the room.

Grimm wrote:Gronk the Hill Orc Aesthete.

You are invited to participate in a remake of a classic movie to be entitled "My Dinner with Blork".

You attempt to mingle at the gallery opening.
You notice that everyone avoids making eye contact with you.
You get a little too drunk.
You blurt out, "I like paintings of animals!"

You try more versifying and read the results aloud.
All the monsters around you seem to shudder with pain.
You wonder if you are on to something after all...

New class proposal: Combat Poet.

Grimm wrote:New class proposal: Combat Poet.

Grimm wrote:New class proposal: Jester. Featuring the new Jokes skill, he defeats monsters with his wit, either winning them to his side or making them collapse in a storm of guffawing.

Confidence Interval wrote:But you could be in big trouble if your Badinage level isn't high enough.

Like the Jester, only majoring in Odes rather than Badinage?

Confidence Interval wrote:
Grimm wrote:Gronk the Hill Orc Aesthete.

You are invited to participate in a remake of a classic movie to be entitled "My Dinner with Blork".

"My Dinner with Purgy" has more of a ring to it.

Stormfox wrote:"My Dinner with Purgy" has more of a ring to it.

Yes, I like that better.

I have failed to come up with a Crawl equivalent of Last Year at Marienbad.

Confidence Interval wrote:I have failed to come up with a Crawl equivalent of Last Year at Marienbad.

I feel your pain.

Confidence Interval wrote:
Grimm wrote:New class proposal: Combat Poet.

Grimm wrote:New class proposal: Jester. Featuring the new Jokes skill, he defeats monsters with his wit, either winning them to his side or making them collapse in a storm of guffawing.

Confidence Interval wrote:But you could be in big trouble if your Badinage level isn't high enough.

Like the Jester, only majoring in Odes rather than Badinage?

The Combat Poet is quite distinct from Jester, as much so as Fighter is from Gladiator. The Jester incites uncontrollable laughter. Monsters smile when they see him coming. Whereas the Combat Poet kills directly with words: his poems hurt.

Grimm wrote:the Combat Poet kills directly with words: his poems hurt.

Like this?

"During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent, of his poem, Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, four of his audience members died of internal hemorrhaging, and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council, survived by gnawing one of his own legs off... "
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vogon_poetry#Poetry

Precisely.

You recite Vogon-style poetry.
The kobold clutches its ears in pain!
The kobold dies.
Your Iambic Pentameters skill increases to level 10!

Amy Lowell the Combat Poet.
You worship Ezra.
Ezra would rather you didn't.

Walt Whitman the Combat Poet.
You sing the body electric.
You hear a mighty clap of thunder!
The lightning arc hits Nikola.
The lightning arc hits you!
Ouch! That really hurt!

You know I should go with the body electric line for the electric golem quote.

Grimm wrote:You know I should go with the body electric line for the electric golem quote.

I second this suggestion. Good Whitman/Bradbury double reference.

Grimm wrote:You know I should go with the body electric line for the electric golem quote.

I also suggest Whitman's Song of the Broad-Axe - for a broad axe quote, you understand:

Weapon shapely, naked, wan,
Head from the mother's bowels drawn,
Wooded flesh and metal bone, limb only one and lip only one,
Gray-blue leaf by red-heat grown, helve produced from a little seed sown,
Resting the grass amid and upon,
To be lean'd and to lean on.

Someone's already added that one.

Must have been an aesthete.

......

I think I can definitively declare that this thread has gone off topic.

Yeah let's get back to quokkas, which is what we came here for. Quokkas.

Right. Now, I'd say that quokkas, as well as playing football, are the archetypal American writers.

There'll be little dissension on that point, from any quarter.

They are however in danger of salivating themselves to death. I found a pretty cherry quote about that for the ingame quokka. Should appear in trunk in a week or two.

Grimm wrote:They are however in danger of salivating themselves to death.

I heard about that in that movie, Meet the Quokkas.

I'm trying to work up something along the quokka/cracker pun line but nothing's coming.

Grimm wrote:I'm trying to work up something along the quokka/cracker pun line but nothing's coming.

I feel your pain.

An odd little creature, the quokka
Little fockers! They play quokka soccer
One bit on my head
And left me quite dead
Then stashed all my gold in its locker.

The Who got it a little wrong
With their songs of Mods and Rockers
They should have loaded Dungeon Crawl
And got stuck into Gods and Quokkas

The Tavern

Crawl is not the only game that features the quokka

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