Bad limericks


If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it belongs here. Also, come here if you just need to get hammered.

Swamp Slogger

Posts: 169

Joined: Monday, 12th September 2016, 16:25

Post Wednesday, 14th March 2018, 21:49

Bad limericks

There once was a kitty, Natasha;
An @ had a longing to bash her.
Our foolish young friend,
Soon met a bad end -
Natasha's flesh-rending g-nasher.

There once was a orc named Saint Roka
Beset by a murderous joker;
If his mighty smite,
Can't make things all right,
He uses his trident to poke her.

There is a great god named Beogh,
Whose worship the hill orcs do hog.
The orcish Messiah,
May seem a high flyer,
But dies to a humble bull-frog.

Swamp Slogger

Posts: 169

Joined: Monday, 12th September 2016, 16:25

Post Wednesday, 14th March 2018, 22:12

Re: Bad limericks - Qazlal

I picked up the Shield of the Gong,
When struck it emits a great BONG,
My god's noisy clouds,
Bring monsters in crowds,
And my sword will join in with a song!
Last edited by damerell on Wednesday, 14th March 2018, 22:17, edited 1 time in total.

Swamp Slogger

Posts: 169

Joined: Monday, 12th September 2016, 16:25

Post Wednesday, 14th March 2018, 22:17

Re: Bad limericks

There once was a crawler named Clare,
Who takes all their fighters to Lair;
The series of splats,
To bullfrogs and rats,
Are more than the server can bear.

I'm surprised no-one's told me to stop yet (except Clare IRL).

Swamp Slogger

Posts: 169

Joined: Monday, 12th September 2016, 16:25

Post Wednesday, 14th March 2018, 23:57

Re: Bad limericks

We are the demons of Cocytus,
By digging this wall you unblocked us,
We quickly rushed out,
All keen for a bout,
And now with a mace you have socked us.

Snake Sneak

Posts: 114

Joined: Tuesday, 27th January 2015, 17:12

Post Wednesday, 14th March 2018, 23:58

Re: Bad limericks

I am wondering
If Zin recitals could be
Styled like limericks.

Oops, sorry. Haiku 101 is down the hall. I’ll just let myself out.

Ziggurat Zagger

Posts: 8326

Joined: Sunday, 5th May 2013, 08:25

Post Thursday, 15th March 2018, 07:02

Re: Bad limericks

a few months ago my mom found a copy of this book from the 70s in one of her bookshelves
Image
and my dad went into full defensive 14 year old boy mode. word for word: “well it has nothing to do with Playboy magazine, I never read it, and I didn’t buy it, I must have picked it up somewhere”

Swamp Slogger

Posts: 169

Joined: Monday, 12th September 2016, 16:25

Post Thursday, 15th March 2018, 18:40

Re: Bad limericks

dolemite99 wrote:Oops, sorry. Haiku 101 is down the hall. I’ll just let myself out.


Moonlight on the snow
Glinting off a silver shield
You feel lucky --More--

I'm afraid I'm even worse at haiku.
User avatar

Ziggurat Zagger

Posts: 4058

Joined: Wednesday, 23rd October 2013, 07:56

Post Thursday, 15th March 2018, 20:32

Re: Bad limericks

damerell wrote:Moonlight on the snow
Glinting off a silver shield
You feel lucky --More--

Hey, this is not a Nethack forum :)
...SENeGEFEMDBeDDFiHOWzVpVMHuEE{HEMoDEHuDDAs}{HaBeKoAK}CeVM{MfWnMiAK}TeAMDrIE{FoVMVSFi}
{MuVMGhGlVpMo}HaWrSpWz{OgGlTrMo}{CeWnMfBeMiSk}DrEE{GrFiFoGl}DgEnFeNe{OpGlHuSu}
DDArHaCKSpAEGrTmDgFEDsCjGhMoHuVM{HaAMBaEn}{HuMoHOWn}DsWzDDHu{DgWnGnBe}FeIE{MiEnMfCj}SpNe

Swamp Slogger

Posts: 169

Joined: Monday, 12th September 2016, 16:25

Post Friday, 16th March 2018, 20:51

Re: Bad limericks

If things take a turn for the worse,
You might try a scroll - remove curse!
To use on this date, or
To save it for later,
It sure beats a ride in a hearse.
User avatar

Zot Zealot

Posts: 920

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Sunday, 18th March 2018, 16:44

Some more limericks are here: Divine Limericks.

Shoals Surfer

Posts: 257

Joined: Monday, 4th July 2011, 16:26

Post Monday, 19th March 2018, 03:53

Re: Bad limericks

Though your tournament ranking is waning,
Don't play drunk for the combos remaining,
As in Soviet Ru,
Drink will sacrifice you!
(Xom still finds this result entertaining.)

Feel free to recycle lines 3-4, as they deserve a better limerick.

For this message the author defen has received thanks:
Stairdancer

Swamp Slogger

Posts: 169

Joined: Monday, 12th September 2016, 16:25

Post Monday, 19th March 2018, 11:15

Re:

Turukano wrote:Some more limericks are here: Divine Limericks.


These are of, ah, variable quality* but I liked "You took Chei and I'd like to ask why" and I absolutely laughed like a drain at:

Tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab
Tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab
o o o o o
o o o o o
Tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab

... although I have adjusted it to have conventional scansion.

* yes, mine are terrible too

Ziggurat Zagger

Posts: 5193

Joined: Friday, 25th November 2011, 07:36

Post Friday, 23rd March 2018, 21:29

Re: Bad limericks

defen wrote:Though your tournament ranking is waning,
Don't play drunk for the combos remaining,
As in Soviet Ru,
Drink will sacrifice you!
(Xom still finds this result entertaining.)

Feel free to recycle lines 3-4, as they deserve a better limerick.

Since it references sacrifice drink, I think a potion themed limerick would suit them best:

A wanderer explored the dungeon without imagination,
What they thought was curing was degeneration.
As in Soviet Ru,
Drink will sacrifice you!
Alas! It was their time for expiration!

Swamp Slogger

Posts: 169

Joined: Monday, 12th September 2016, 16:25

Post Saturday, 24th March 2018, 13:27

Re: Bad limericks

Snake Sneak

Posts: 114

Joined: Tuesday, 27th January 2015, 17:12

Post Saturday, 24th March 2018, 14:18

Re: Bad limericks

On D:12 I paused & I laughed.
(In my hubris, I’m the king of this craft.)
My thinking right there,
Was “Let’s backtrack to Lair”,
And then I fell down a three-level shaft.

Ziggurat Zagger

Posts: 5193

Joined: Friday, 25th November 2011, 07:36

Post Tuesday, 22nd May 2018, 19:59

Re: Bad limericks

damerell wrote:http://whvvugt.home.xs4all.nl/Archives_TCCMB/Limericks/Structure.html is a useful guide to limerick scansion.

I generally try to follow the "3 long lines, 2 short lines" but I rarely officially count the syllables because I'm a bad poet and that sounds like work. Good to know there's a fairly strict limit for more official limericks, though.

Shoals Surfer

Posts: 306

Joined: Thursday, 25th October 2012, 03:19

Post Monday, 28th May 2018, 06:34

Re: Bad limericks

In crawl you can start a spell caster
although it may end in disaster
to save all the toil
play melee gargoyle
your game will be easy and faster

For this message the author svendre has received thanks:
Fingolfin
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Zot Zealot

Posts: 920

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Monday, 28th May 2018, 19:13

A limerick with caster and faster - that reminds me of something...

One player just couldn't believe how 4thArra played so fast - and this limerick was my answer. :-)

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