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List of god mantras

PostPosted: Thursday, 11th January 2018, 00:08
by Dingbat
Inspired by duvessa's spell list thread.

Am I the only one that's bothered by some of the inconsistent fluff writing in Crawl? Here's a list I made ranking the different mantras of the gods with some suggestions.

Quality Lines

Ashenzari wrote:Partake of my vision. Partake of my curse.

Good. Sets the tone for the god down really well.

Elyvilon wrote:Go forth and aid the weak!

I like it, nothing I can really complain about.

Jiyva wrote:Slime for the Slime God!


Who could hate this one? It's damn catchy.


Makhleb says:
Blood and souls for Makhleb!

Not too shabby.


Nemelex Xobeh says:
It's all in the cards!

I can't complain about this one.


Okawaru says:
Bring me glory in combat!

Another decent one.


Sif Muna whispers:
I know many secrets...

One of the more memorable one, bravo to whoever wrote it.


The Shining One says:
Lead the forces of light to victory!

I like the gung-ho spirit that captures TSO perfectly. However, the penance message is slightly off:

The Shining One says:
Being a martyr may wash away your sin!

"Only martyrdom may absolve your sin!"


Trog rages:
Kill them all!

Short and sweet.


Vehumet says:
Let it end in hellfire!

Very nice.


Wu Jian Council says:
Follow the Path!

Perfect.


Yredelemnul says:
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!

Lovely.


Xom says:
A new plaything!

No way I could ever criticize Xom.


_Okay Lines_

Beogh says:
Drown the unbelievers in a sea of blood!

Too wordy. "Conquer the unbelievers!" would suffice.


Dithmenos says:
Spread the eternal night.

How about "Unveil the eternal night" instead? And how about not having Chei and Dith's names both ending in "-os", which is very annoying to see on the Ctrl+O screen.


Fedhas says:
Spread life and death.

Again with "spread" being used as a catch-all verb. For Fedhas, a better line would be: "Nurture the world in both life and death."


Gozag says:
Greed is good.

The word "good" isn't good enough here.
Either change it to "god" or change the whole line to something like "Greed begets greed."


Hepliaklqana says:
Through your memory, the past survives and persists.

Too long. A more concise catchphrase would be,
"Uphold the legacy!"


Kikubaaqudgha says:
Spread unending torment and darkness!

"Usher forth unending darkness!"


Lugonu says:
Spread carnage and corruption!

"Wreak carnage and corruption!"

Abyssal Knight welcome:
Depart the Abyss and spread corruption, my servant!

Rather, "Desecrate all of creation!"


Qazlal says:
Let the forces of nature tear it all down!

"Unleash the forces of nature!"


Ru says:
Sacrifice that you might gain great power!

Can we change Ru's name to Ro or Rho? Ru reminds me too much of Roodypoo. As for the line, it sound weird because of the wishy-washy "might" stuck in the middle.

"Great power comes from great sacrifice!" is better.

Zin says:
Spread the light, my child.

That's the fiftieth time "spread" has been abused.

"Preach the message of light, my child."


_Crap Lines_

Cheibriados says:
Take it easy.

Just no. The title of an Eagles song simply isn't appropriate for a deity's divine mantra. I get the feeling whoever wrote this didn't really try that hard to come up with something catchier...
For example, "Everything in due time."

Penance: "Don't be so hasty"

Too lame. A cool line would be, "It is not yet your time."


Uskayaw says:
Revel in the joy of movement!

Uska needs a fluff rehaul pretty badly. A god of dancing just sound half-baked when you think about it. If the dancing theme were tied to an even larger theme, like star travel, then it would be cool. Uskayaw the Starmaiden would be more interesting than Uskayaw the Reveler by a long shot.

"May ecstacy inspire the star within!"

Re: List of god mantras

PostPosted: Thursday, 11th January 2018, 00:21
by Shtopit
I'd like to notice that Veh wanted hellfire, but didn't allow you to shoot hellfire on his own power. I actually couldn't remember if that was Makh's motto.

Re: List of god mantras

PostPosted: Thursday, 11th January 2018, 01:05
by amaril
Dingbat wrote:Cheibriados says:
Take it easy.

Just no.

Dingbat wrote:I get the feeling whoever wrote this didn't really try that hard

lol u dont play chei much do u