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I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 08:29
by Ultraviolent4
Credit goes to REDACTED (he knows who he is but I'm hiding his name to protect the innocent) for doing most of the investigative work here.

Brannock was made a member of the dev team in late 2016. Since then he has been directly involved in many different changes and commits. But while it may look like he's reforming widespread aspects of DCSS, I believe I've found his true and underlying purpose:

Brannock hates giants

I don't know why he hates giants so much. Maybe he had a bad experience with a giant as a child and now suffers from an irrational fear of them. Perhaps someone who knows Brannock better could shed some light on the reason.

The rabbit hole goes fairly deep but here are some of the more obvious pieces of evidence:

You may recall that Hill Giants were removed from the game relatively recently. Want to guess who removed them?
That's right, it was Brannock!!!
"There's no real need to have an "introductory" giant", he says in the commit. And why is that, Brannock? Because it would act as a gateway to further giants?!

Once you start to view the actions of the dev team through this lens (I suspect that Brannock is influencing or maybe blackmailing them somehow to go along with his anti-giant agenda) a lot more things become clear. Take the Ogre changes, for example. You might think that changing Ogre M&F aptitude from +3 to -1 makes no sense at all. And you would be right if you're only thinking in terms of 2D Crawl. But from a 3D Crawl perspective, this change could simply be a stepping stone to remove Giant Clubs and Giant Spiked Clubs from the game.

My head is literally spinning right now.

Edit: Almost as soon as I posted this my computer started acting all funny. Coincidence?

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 11:15
by bananaken
It's OK for something to be giant, Brannock, you're worrying me :(

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 11:36
by pedritolo
This is giving me a giant headache

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 13:10
by Plantissue
0.22 All giants are renamed Jotunn, and the Giant Club and Giant Spiked Club are renamed Bull Club and Tyrant Club.

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 13:22
by Zooty
Rename:
club -> fun size club
giant club -> club
giant spiked club -> kinky club

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 13:37
by bananaken
pedritolo wrote:This is giving me a tyrant headache

Agreed

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 15:30
by pedritolo
bananaken wrote:
pedritolo wrote:This is giving me a tyrant headache

Agreed


Revisionist!

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 19:38
by Brannock
This is a giant misunderstanding.

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 20:59
by njvack
at first I was all "tyrant leech? that's some bullshit" and then I found this http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news ... -orifices/

O.O

Re: I've uncovered a giant conspiracy

PostPosted: Friday, 7th April 2017, 22:22
by tasonir
njvack wrote:at first I was all "tyrant leech? that's some bullshit" and then I found this http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news ... -orifices/

O.O

What's more, the newfound critter's "naughty bits are rather small," said study co-author Mark Siddall

Oh no he didn't!