The Tavern

Scenario one:

You are a half-troll half-orc dreamed up and put to text for the world to see by a haphazard GDD thread maker with six forum posts total. You have weird apts and a strange huge body, yet people rely on you for emotional advice. Your best friend is an Ogre who loaned gold from your full blooded Hill Orc cousin for shadow dragon armour (I know, right?). You tend to sympathize and side with your friend in matters of clothing because, like him (yes, him), you are a large species. On the other hand, your cousin, like many on that side of the family, himself (yes, him) owes you gold, and a repayment you facilitate could benefit you in this way. Knowing one party will turn hostile at the end, who do you side with?


Scenario two:

You (any species) are dating a princess who is beautiful, charming, witting and, in scandalous areas, sparkling. She came into your life at the right time and is everything you dreamed of, except she is under Xom wrath. She swears it will be over in a few thousand turns, and like most princesses, has a castle with lots of cmut in strange piles just lying on the ground and masked man guards in every room. You find the prospect of intimacy frightening and embarrassing with the men (yes, men) protecting the princess present and Xom watching/interfering, yet worry if you do not show compassion and love soon that she will turn to another. Do you risk potential mutation on your exposed bits with an audience of men (yes, men) ready to laugh behind their armoured faceplates, or do you ride away and settle for less, your only satisfaction and reward the guarantee not to be dickless at midnight?


Scenario three:

You (Future quack species) lost the ability to use swords because of a dev nerf and an unthinkable policy that would eventually see ducks like you and monster analogues removed entirely if not for the intervention of your Number One Fan. He (yes, he) argues on your behalf over discussions both real and online and fpolo (Future thing, you don`t get it) and may be your only hope to remain on the species roster, but has a compulsion to draw and upload sexual fantasies involving you and your sword. Developers argue your kind is too similar to Veerfolk (just, like, don`t ask) and death seems like a good alternative to being imortalized in fetish form instead of being known as a good swimmer with okay apts and long blade skill. Many people seem to accept the developer argument and are disgusted by the pictures of you. Do you fall on your sword?

F/22/elf seeking other F. Must be open-minded about polyamory.

Scenario one:
cousin
Scenario two:
stay
Scenario three:
yes


haha yeah right...just messing with you


serious:

Scenario one:
cousin
Scenario two:
stay and hope for a good roll on the (you know)
Scenario three
no

say that i'll deliver the payment but keep it for myself
seduce the guards
try out the fetish sex thing and see if it feels good, then decide

Despite your initial feelings, you become stricken with the *obvious* righteousness of your cousin's cause, and end up changing your name to Warbeogh after taking up a new career in debt collections.

In a planar coincidence, you had just converted to Xom before meeting the princess! Two sets of ball lightning render the guards' quantum superposition of lasciviousness suddenly irrelevant, as you discover pseudopods in unexpected places.

Fortunately, Donald wields a fencing implement that includes a sheath, and after some debate a consensus lack of objection deemed her old species' theme, quote, "Historically inaccurate, offensive, and fowl." You find yourself able to cast Haste and Might at will, but also strangely unwilling to leave the nearest pond. For reasons you can't explain you seem to be wearing a funny hat, and the new shape of your armour leaves certain things ambiguous.

Can you do some ethics trolley problem variations too?

A runaway trolley is about to run over mountain dwarves. Do you pull the lever and divert the trolley towards minotaurs instead?

I try to have sex with the princess but xom polymorphs me into a lich and my dick turns into dust and blows away

One: Side with gold.
Two: I roars with laughter.
Three: Stare at the viewers and say, "AFLAC!"

edited out the answers