The Paladin's Fate (poem)
Posted: Friday, 22nd July 2011, 15:42A grand malefic host had gathered
And stood before his righteous blade -
Unnerved, unmanned, and then unmade,
Their brains upon the plains were slathered.
(Their bones, released from flesh's fetter,
Knew not of fear but fared no better).
A decade's peace had lulled the city,
Its folk forever in his debt.
He sighed and thought, "It is a pity:
The only existential threat
My holy powers may divine
Resides, alas, within the wine."
So when the crier brought the news:
"Some sort of monster has infected
The yard where refuse is collected!"
The drunken knight could not refuse.
----------
His visor hid his great delight:
What joy to wield Tunare's* might,
What joy to hear his armor clang!
Beside, a spoony minstrel sang,
"My gentle sir, do not be gentle,
Unleash thy wrath upon the creep!"
And then the lute no longer rang;
An excremental elemental
Arose amid the midden heap!
They clashed and thrashed in brutal battle.
Who'd triumph? It was hard to tell
Between the cries, the ringmail's rattle,
And yes, the fiend's appalling smell.
He lunged; it staggered, roared, and fell.
The pile of crap had crushed the man!
The weeping minstrel turned and ran,
And heard, despite his anguished daze,
A rather unexpected phrase:
"The moral is, o young survivor,"
The mass of feces seemed to say,
"A tonne of dietary fiber
Beats moral fiber any day."
*Tunare is the nature goddess from Everquest.
And stood before his righteous blade -
Unnerved, unmanned, and then unmade,
Their brains upon the plains were slathered.
(Their bones, released from flesh's fetter,
Knew not of fear but fared no better).
A decade's peace had lulled the city,
Its folk forever in his debt.
He sighed and thought, "It is a pity:
The only existential threat
My holy powers may divine
Resides, alas, within the wine."
So when the crier brought the news:
"Some sort of monster has infected
The yard where refuse is collected!"
The drunken knight could not refuse.
----------
His visor hid his great delight:
What joy to wield Tunare's* might,
What joy to hear his armor clang!
Beside, a spoony minstrel sang,
"My gentle sir, do not be gentle,
Unleash thy wrath upon the creep!"
And then the lute no longer rang;
An excremental elemental
Arose amid the midden heap!
They clashed and thrashed in brutal battle.
Who'd triumph? It was hard to tell
Between the cries, the ringmail's rattle,
And yes, the fiend's appalling smell.
He lunged; it staggered, roared, and fell.
The pile of crap had crushed the man!
The weeping minstrel turned and ran,
And heard, despite his anguished daze,
A rather unexpected phrase:
"The moral is, o young survivor,"
The mass of feces seemed to say,
"A tonne of dietary fiber
Beats moral fiber any day."
*Tunare is the nature goddess from Everquest.
