The Tavern

Sorry I couldn't resist.

Bubble wrap traps. They work like alarm traps, but they mark the trap, not you. The enemies swarm to the trap and then, when in sight of it, become distracted by it as with gold when serving Gozag. Once the bubble wrap is all popped, the distraction ends and the enemies resume being hostile.

Lich speech. Liches and Ancient Liches get lines from Da Share Z0ne (follow Da Share Z0ne on twitter @dasharez0ne).

New monster: Nintendog.

When a Nintendog comes onto your LoS, it will start licking your screen, which will show nothing but a huge, rapidly blinking red "h" to represent the act. The player can't see any changes to the map or the HP/MP bar while this happens, and must rely on memory or tabbing in order to eliminate the current threats.

Can be called "sight hound" or similar if copyright is an issue. Can possibly be included in packs of invisible enemies that reverse your movement keys so that pressing up moves you down and so on.

Add a hidden ending in which you get out of the dungeon carrying the Pandemonium Disco Ball.

If Roxanne spawns and you zap her with Sting, she retaliates with "Red Light" (Searing Ray) and "Don't Stand So Close to Me" (Force Lance). Phial of Floods immediately becomes a "Message in a Bottle", containing a ticket for entry into a trove of Police concert memorabilia.

Add a new race: Apes. Apes are pretty much like humans, but they get a bonus when using gorilla tactics (ranged, hand to hand, stealth, luring, transmutations). Plus they can throw their own shit!

"Gorilla warfare". I see what you did there.

FR: Poop clock. Goes up steadily at a pace depending on your satiation level. If it goes too high, you need to poop (done automatically if you wait a few turns, leaves a few 'chunks of poop' on the ground after you're done, or a handful of stones if you're a gargoyle), and if you don't do so for a while, you become Constipated, which reduces your movement speed and your dexterity.

New race: jellies. Jellies cannot use almost any equipment, but will gain temporary HP and MP up to half more than normal by consuming it. They have an acid melee attack. Jellies are amphibious, resist poison, are immune to acid and corrosion and can see invisible.
A jelly can convert to Jivvy when it meets another jelly.
Jellies can carry books and learn spells.

At level 10, they change into one of the following: blue jelly, with 12 speed, frost immunity, frost branded melee attack, 20% HP bonus and a +5 to AC; acid blob, with a speed of 12 and ranged acid attack, with the ability to shoot an acidic perforating bolt (causes exhaustion); death ooze, which gains all undead traits and inflicts drain on hit; slime creature. A slime creature gains one size point every 3 levels after 10, becoming titanic at level 25; they are immune to asphyxiation, have natural clarity and reg+.

Level 5(ish?) Charms/Tloc spell that brands launchers with temporary penetration because bolts of penetration were fun and I want them back ;_;

When a character dies, Xom steps in with a lifesaving offer (regardless of who you're worshipping at the time). Choosing yes gets you a second life, but it is one that is dedicated to Xom (can not abandon, all attacks/spells get chaos brand, Xom effects galore). Oh, and the character gets marked as a xombie in the morgue. If you die a second time, instead of leaving a player ghost, Xom polymorphs you into a level appropriate monster, which is what the bones file will generate in future games (e.g. DracheReborn the torpor snail).

Reasoning: we all need more Xom in our games, and there's no better way to play Xom than on a char that's already dead

When a spriggan enchants a dragon hide, he/she should get enough leftover dragon hide for a very stylish set of hat + boots + gloves. Mix and match your victims' hides to achieve best results:
[*]Shadow dragon gloves: Punches so stealthy, no one sees them coming.
[*]Mottled dragon boots: Leave a trail of sticky flame blobs in your travel path, burning all followers.
[*]Gold dragon hat: Wear while worshipping Gozag for +10% gold per kill.

Conversely, if a Troll or Ogre kills a 'smaller'? dragon (Mottled, Steam?), there should only be enough hide for a very skimpy loin-cloth type garment. Extra style points and score points awarded for ascending while wearing nothing but reptilian underpants.

Add underwear as another armour slot, so I can roleplay as elven women in my Crawl games.

why do you need underwear to do that

So I can take it off.

Entrocrawl: like Gnollcrawl, but it's just entropy weavers.

Woecrawl: like Gnollcrawl, but all gnolls wield the Axe of Woe

Anthrocrawl: like Gnollcrawl, but, instead of shouting, the gnolls yell "Yiff! Yiff!"

Rename "Frostbite" into "Chillax".

Why is this not in the game already?

Propane Servitor: once a beautiful angel, now turned into a three- carbon alkane with the molecular formula C 3 H8 , a gas, at
standard temperature and pressure , but compressible to a transportable liquid. It's great if you like cooking while camping. Keep away from flames!

Can there some kind of ridiculously complicated Hadoken style attack. Where once a game you can you input a ridiculously long list of random keys with in a certain time which will perform an attack instantly roasting any rat on screen.

Rename size categories to: XXS, XS, S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL.

Add rabies: if bitten by wolves, hounds, bears, or bats, you have a chance to incubate rabies. In this phase, which doesn't show symptoms or status effects, you can heal rabies by drinking a potion of curing.

After incubation, you get the full illness: berserkitis and the need to drink potions according to a timer, or you will die. You can cure rabies in this phase only by drinking three potions of degeneration. If you don't drink them, a second clock will start, increasing the chances to die after each berserk rage.

and make the chance much bigger if it's full moon tonight...

New mutation: Pole Arms

adds +1 range to every weapon

Not boots but hats. If it's good enough for Dr Seuss it's good enough for Crawl.

Waterslides: Found in shallow water, they are additional downstairs/upstairs, but only aquatic races can go up the stairs (and only aquatic monsters can follow you up the stairs. Always connect to a shallow water corresponding tile.

Delete lajatangs, add double staves.

Double enhancer staves give double enhancers, hit for double elemental damage and double staves of energy give twice the mana

Delete lajatangs, add Distaffs:

Staff: |
Double Staff: ╳
Triple Staff: ▽
Tetrastaff of Order: ⌗

When eating a chunk from a Killer Klown the message reads "That chunk tasted funny"

Add coupons.

For example:

"The coupon says:

Visit Fuzzypuzzy's General Store on U:3

with this coupon, and you will be eligible for the following discounts:

Rings of Magic Resistance: 50% off!
Potions of Cancellation: 30% off!"

buy one ring of poison resistance, get one free!

Add new form: "nice form". Gives +2 to dex, and +1 to AC, EV, and SH. That's kinda nice!

Reprogram Maurice into a unique tengu called The Magpie.

Turn Maurice into a Lugonu worshipper. When hurt, instead of teleporting, it will enter the Abyss. Good luck finding your stuff!

Since Cheib makes your attributes better as you grow slower, it only makes sense that your attributes become infinite when you are paralyzed... or in Tree Form!

Bring back Norris, for a very special easter-egg style buff.

Butcher him immediately after the kill.
Consuming 'Chunk Norris' immediately gives you a permanent +4 to Unarmed Combat, as well as a very stylish ginger-colored mustache.

Since mummies are made of toilet paper, they shouldn't be able to enter even shallow water, lest they suffer a shrink in size due to collapsing legs.

When tabbing at low health, instead of blocking you, the game should give you a choice:

Hunger-induced hallucinations: at near starving or lower satiation, a progressively larger proportion of enemies and items will be seen as random comestibles. When truly starving, you will be mesmerized by anything which appears to be edible and forced to consume it. Items will be identified only after mistakenly eaten. "You finish eating...oops! That was a pair of the +3 Gauntlets of War!"

Sound effects added when hungry: the hungrier you are, the more frequently your ears will be assaulted by stomach growling. Voice acting is also introduced for the lines concerning hunger, and it will be as nasally and intentionally grating as possible to encourage you to do your patriotic duty of pressing "e."

FeedCrawl: a separate game mode wherein every "race" is a type of food, such as bread ration, meat ration, royal jelly, snozzcumber, etc. The goal of the game is to reach the waiting adventurer at the bottom of the dungeon and feed them by shouting "You need to eat something NOW!!!!!!!!!" into their ear until they are persuaded to tear into your nutritious body. Beware, however, of monsters wanting to consume you instead, of shopkeepers wishing to kidnap and sell you in their food shops on Orc:2, and of game designers who wish to brutally remove you.

A friendly reminder: you need to eat something NOW!!!! NOW!!!!! Neh! Nnnnneeeh! Eh! NOWWW!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



NEEEEHHHHHHH-OOOOOWWWWW!

Add new unique: Shock the Monkey, a howling monkey that has electric blink and chain lighting.

Add 5 more runes. getting 20 rune turns the orb of zot into the icosahedron of zot, which is better than the orb of zot because it can be evoked to generat a random number between 1 and 20 inclusive.

your score is then multiplied by this number.

New god: Ugh

Like Ru, but all your sacrifices are quality of life losses.

Sacrifice durability - your scrolls burn, your potions freeze
Sacrifice automation - no more autoexplore, autoeat, or autobutcher, cannot use CTRL-F or Shift-X
Sacrifice insight - can't figure out enemy's remaining health in any way
Sacrifice memory - can't remember which types of items you have seen or not seen
Sacrifice carrying capacity - carrying capacity now limited to 25 items, item weight is back.

New weapon brand: of the North Star, e.g. a glaive of the North Star.

Makes affected monsters explode after several turns.

Items with +Inv can evoke themselves. If they're on the dungeon floor and you don't have SInv, you can only see them if you walk on their square or cast corona, etc on them. If they're in your pack, you can try to wear/wield/evoke it, but the inventory letter that they are assigned is randomized among all the slots unused by visible stuff. You can read a scroll of fog to find it if you're in an emergency, though.

New ego: resist measles. A new biological alternative!

If you try to enter Zot without the needed runes, you get a message:

Add new ability: vomit.

If you are engorged, you can vomit on an adjacent enemy. If said enemy was invisible, it now is visible (and covered in vomit).