Stupid ideas for 0.19


If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it belongs here. Also, come here if you just need to get hammered.

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Post Thursday, 30th June 2016, 15:19

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

63.
  Code:
Are you sure you want to enter Zot trap? Press yes to continue.
As you enter Zot trap it evaporates and changes to John's Antique Armour Shop. What would you like to buy?

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Post Thursday, 30th June 2016, 17:53

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

64. Add THE HYPNOTOAD.
  Code:
You see the Hypnotoad. ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

The Hypnotoad appears at the bottom of the Shoals, sharing a 50/50 chance with the unique Aquamancer. The Hypnotoad is a master hexer instead.
  Code:
You can't get away: you want to bask in the glory of THE HYPNOTOAD!

  Code:
You can't stop clapping!


65. New messages for the burning blood Ds mutation. When you gain it:
  Code:
Thou shalt reign in blood!

Instead of describing the blood turning into flames:
  Code:
Reign in blood!
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif

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Post Thursday, 30th June 2016, 22:23

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

66. helping...

67. get...

68. to:

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Post Friday, 1st July 2016, 03:53

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

70. Not merging the pizza_tornado branch

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Post Friday, 1st July 2016, 04:33

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

71. if you equip buttered toast on a felid, you gain and cannot lose flying. But ofc it periodically disorients you.
remove handsome distillation

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Post Friday, 1st July 2016, 04:34

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Shtopit wrote:65. New messages for the burning blood Ds mutation. When you gain it:
  Code:
Thou shalt reign in blood!

Instead of describing the blood turning into flames:
  Code:
Reign in blood!

The fire catches on blood!
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Post Sunday, 3rd July 2016, 23:14

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Add new race: holy swines. Holy swines play like felids, but larger, hardier and flying. Have bonus piety when worshipping the good gods, and cannot worship the evil gods. Daevas will attempt to kill you with maximum prejudice, however, since they believe you are their dinner.
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif

Ziggurat Zagger

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Post Sunday, 3rd July 2016, 23:27

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

New race. Mushroom basilisk. Can activate an ability to petrify a monster. Cannot walk with non-petrified monsters in view.

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Post Monday, 4th July 2016, 00:07

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

74. Add "cuckold" to the list of imp insult nouns, but only white imps use it
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Post Monday, 4th July 2016, 04:43

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

69. Rename all ghosts to "dickshlonger69".
Comborobin Admin

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Post Monday, 4th July 2016, 19:40

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

420. Make iron giants appear in lair endings.
42069. Buff Shoals - add more monsters (maybe marking monsters like a seagull?), more uniques, also buff every merfolk enemy.
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Post Monday, 4th July 2016, 19:42

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Dungeoneer wrote:also buff every merfolk enemy.


We need merfolk transmuters as enemy. They will use Ice Form, Blade Hands, Statue Form, Spider Form, Dragon Form, Hydra Form

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Post Tuesday, 5th July 2016, 07:47

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

A mirror which enables your sight to extend through wooden doors while you're adjacent to them (works with runed doors once Evoc > 13.5)

A slime weapon brand with +acid damage and a chance to slimify living things

A food item which restores very little satiation, but reduces Draining by one level

A level 2 Transmutations spell/buff that enables Plastic-Man-esque deformities of the limbs so that you can punch two tiles away whilst Unarmed

A portable single-use escape hatch (leaves 1-3 of your unequipped items on the floor, higher chance to drop potions and books)

If you drop the only item which enabled the training of a skill, the skill gets turned off and re-locked

If you have an empty wand AND at least >9 Evocations or >4.5 in any school of magic associated with the spell, enable a 'Wrest Charges' ability that zaps the wand at max power, then destroys it

Potions of Heal Wounds and crystal balls of energy restore a fixed percentage of HP and MP, respectively (calculate this via BMI)

Make pizzas heal HP directly, with amount correspondent to the type of toppings (olives should rot Max HP like when ghouls heal from chunks)

More pizza toppings
And you think you're capable of finding the ORB? I had it, you know. Then I gave it away so I could steal it AGAIN.

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Post Tuesday, 5th July 2016, 11:11

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

New race: the Nerd. Too ugly to be an elf, too weak to be a troll, and yet not exactly human, the Nerd is characterized by the Nerdrage status. Nerdrage activate itself randomly, independently of external conditions, and sees the Nerd aimlessly flailing his arms around himself while shouting incoherent remarks. Nerdrage becomes more and more frequent as level increases; at level 15, it becomes permanent.
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif
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Post Tuesday, 5th July 2016, 19:34

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Gongclonker wrote:A portable single-use escape hatch (leaves 1-3 of your unequipped items on the floor, higher chance to drop potions and books)
what the hell is this a reference to?

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Post Wednesday, 6th July 2016, 00:02

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

421. Orbs of Fire circling around Orb of Zot like the orbiting planets
42070. Orbs of Ice in 1/20 of D:Zot5 generated

?. Orb Guardians being harder to kill
?+1. Dracoliches instead of Liches in Zot realm

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Post Wednesday, 6th July 2016, 07:34

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

HardboiledGargoyle wrote:
Gongclonker wrote:A portable single-use escape hatch (leaves 1-3 of your unequipped items on the floor, higher chance to drop potions and books)
what the hell is this a reference to?


Whole cloth, unless somebody else thought up such a thing first. Probable given the number of times people have made spinoffs of the Portable Hole.
And you think you're capable of finding the ORB? I had it, you know. Then I gave it away so I could steal it AGAIN.

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Post Thursday, 7th July 2016, 17:06

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

FR: you can control direction how axe moves (clockwise or counter-clockwise) and axe deals from 100% to 75% damage depending on tiles moved before attack. Something like this:

  Code:
123
8@4
765


You deal 100% to 1 and only 75% to 8.

Inspired by
It's far less strange to me than a Hill Orc swinging his axe in complete circles around him, and somehow managing to deal reasonable damage, yet not getting the weapon stuck on any one of those 8 enemies he is slashing at. I imagine axe users as twirling around in complete circles, tagging enemies one at a time like that little stopper thing on the 'wheel' of fortune.

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Post Thursday, 7th July 2016, 18:18

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Combine Donald and Duvessa.

"PleasingFungus added more flavour spam to hydra form. I hate that."

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Post Thursday, 7th July 2016, 20:30

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

ydeve wrote:Combine Donald and Duvessa.

"PleasingFungus added more flavour spam to hydra form. I hate that."


But... where does Dowan fit in with this new Donessald hybrid?
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Post Thursday, 7th July 2016, 20:33

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

dowan wrote:
ydeve wrote:Combine Donald and Duvessa.

"PleasingFungus added more flavour spam to hydra form. I hate that."


But... where does Dowan fit in with this new Donessald hybrid?


Between the legs somewhere, same as before.
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Post Friday, 8th July 2016, 02:57

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Maybe I'd be in a better mood if creepy guys weren't publicly airing their fantasies about me having sex with my own brother

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Post Friday, 8th July 2016, 05:32

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Give water nymphs clothes to wear. Wait, no. Don't do that, stupid.
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Post Monday, 18th July 2016, 14:39

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Let Beogh worshippers recall orcs which have been polymorphed into other forms(so I could recall Gorg the Spinx at the exit to take him out of the dungeon with me...!)
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Post Saturday, 23rd July 2016, 01:51

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Make Sticks to Snakes auto-trigger when you fire an arrow, so the enemy gets hit by a flying snake fangs-first.
And you think you're capable of finding the ORB? I had it, you know. Then I gave it away so I could steal it AGAIN.

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Post Saturday, 23rd July 2016, 03:43

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Introduce Quokka Form. Enemies can be confused, enslaved, blinded, or paralyzed by your cuteness.
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Post Saturday, 23rd July 2016, 04:07

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Gongclonker wrote:Make Sticks to Snakes auto-trigger when you fire an arrow, so the enemy gets hit by a flying snake fangs-first.
this is rad tho
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Post Tuesday, 26th July 2016, 00:23

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Xom should polymorph you into Prince Ribbit if he gets bored 3 times in a row.
And you think you're capable of finding the ORB? I had it, you know. Then I gave it away so I could steal it AGAIN.

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Post Tuesday, 26th July 2016, 04:58

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Divine Energy

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Post Tuesday, 26th July 2016, 12:53

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

More traps! We'll bring back the shadow traps, because of how fun they were, but we'll add more.

Healing trap: Heals enemies that walk over it. If the player walks over it, it heals all nearby enemies. (This trap doesn't sound stupid enough...)

Instant death trap: Has a 0.001% chance to spawn on any given floor, only 1 per floor. If you step on it, you die. This adds more unpreventable deaths, something players keep expressing their enjoyment of.

Labyrinth Trap: If you step on it, you fall into a labyrinth. Unlike the portal labyrinths, this one combines the labyrinth and abyss level generation algorithms, meaning it generates a neverending maze, with exits being randomly generated as well. No guarantees the exit is reachable at any given time, but eventually it should be!

Nemesis Trap: A doppelganger of the character is spawned (Just like mara's ability), basically creating a player ghost of the current player. The ghost has 0.1 faster speed than the player, and can climb staircases. If lost for more than 50 turns, the ghost is recalled to the player's position. The ghost is magic immune, sees invisible, and has immunity to elemental and poison damage.

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Post Tuesday, 26th July 2016, 13:29

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

N). Exploding quokas creating falling shafts.
N++). Exploding falling shafts, that create falling shafts on shafting.
N++). You know what's going to be next.
X+m). Xom occasionally swaps the gear in your inventory, causing glowing effect. If he's bored - he'll toss away random item in any direction, causing abyss shaft to appear beneath it.
L+S). Give Long Sword riposte reaching - if any enemy is closer than 2 tiles, give a 66.66666666% of slapping them away with distortion.
...Oh wait.
I+E). Nerf Freeze range, making it usable only if Vehumet is in mood.
N+T). Make Nicola spawn random lightning traps on his turn, on step releasing violent ball lightnings.
D+r). Make draconians always gain opposite colours of the magic you're learning.
...Oh wait a sec.
V+s). Vine Stalker can corrode their teeth when biting a jelly, resulting in a need to visit a new shop (see bellow).
D+s). Geryon's Dentist shop welcomes you! Just for 999.9 gold you'll be able to get a new pair of teeth, claws, horns, or remove them entirely.
N+R). New race - Lazy Human. Same as human, except all apt is -1. Gains special mutation on gaining levels - Alcoholism (see above).
F+U). Teleporting in Zot:5 causes permanent fear of reaching unknown dimensions, occasionally (95%) tossing into zig(0.001%), wizlab(0.000000001%), or abyss:666 (99,998999999).
V+M). Vaults:5 are now V:1 without a rune, V:5 is still V:5.
B+R). Boots of running will occasionally run away from you, since they're bored standing still.
F+U+N+X). Nemelex sometimes gift you deck of summon panlords which contain only one card - tea ceremony (Friendly panlords will toss huge explosions at your nearby foes, and sometimes (99.5%) you.
Online Statistics
Road to: Great Ds (6/25): DsFi^Gozag 3 R, DsGl^Qaz 4 R, DsMo^Chei 5 R, {DsHu^Uska 6 R, DsAs^Uska 7 R}, DsAr^Chei 8 R.
In progress: DsWn... Currently out of time. Maybe someday.

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Halls Hopper

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Post Saturday, 30th July 2016, 00:53

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

A buff like +Wiz, but for unarmed combat only. +Focus or something. And then, branded gloves that have it. That way it can buff unarmed and not have to make a new weapon type in the process, monks can get their 'runed gauntlets', and everyone else just has gloves.
And you think you're capable of finding the ORB? I had it, you know. Then I gave it away so I could steal it AGAIN.
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Post Saturday, 30th July 2016, 03:06

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

That'd be good, I hate the % failure rate of unarmed melee

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Post Saturday, 30th July 2016, 03:40

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Miscast effects for unarmed combat

Level 0: your arms feel sore (no effect)
Level 1: you pull a hammy (temporary -swift) or forget to throw the punch (no effect)
Level 2: you trip and fall (2-15 ac ignoring damage) or bruise your knuckles (25 noise from cursing really loudly)
Level 3: you fracture your metacarpals (10-27 damage, lose access to one hand until fixed with !hw) or hit yourself in the face (redirects your attack targeting yourself)

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Post Saturday, 30th July 2016, 03:50

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

let killer klowns steal runes of zot and teleport away with them. as usual, you need at least 3 runes to leave zot

also let orb guardians steal the orb and teleport back to zot:5 with it so you have to run back down there. that way orbrun spawns will actually matter

Sar

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Post Saturday, 30th July 2016, 03:52

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Hellmonk wrote:Miscast effects for unarmed combat

How about a god of misfortune which makes both you and your enemies suffer miscasts and critical misses? The effects could be something like accidentally hitting yourself/knocking yourself out/dropping your weapon.

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Post Saturday, 30th July 2016, 04:01

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

You drop your +6 spear of distortion on your bung.
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Post Saturday, 30th July 2016, 10:20

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Hellmonk wrote:Level 3: you fracture your metacarpals (10-27 damage, lose access to one hand until fixed with !hw)

So you can kill yourself at XL 1?

Sar

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Post Saturday, 30th July 2016, 10:25

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

well it's not like low-level UC is any good either way

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Post Sunday, 31st July 2016, 06:48

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

BabyRage wrote:
Hellmonk wrote:Level 3: you fracture your metacarpals (10-27 damage, lose access to one hand until fixed with !hw)

So you can kill yourself at XL 1?

Only if you try to use a too-high-level martial art.
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Post Sunday, 31st July 2016, 14:12

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

genericpseudonym wrote:
BabyRage wrote:
Hellmonk wrote:Level 3: you fracture your metacarpals (10-27 damage, lose access to one hand until fixed with !hw)

So you can kill yourself at XL 1?

Only if you try to use a too-high-level martial art.


"You attempt a Tornado kick!"
"You fail miserably!"
"You tear your sack!"
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Busy dying horrible deaths from chugging too many pots of Mutation.
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Post Sunday, 31st July 2016, 14:35

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

infinitevox wrote:"You attempt a Tornado kick!"
"You fail miserably!"
"You tear your sack!"

What if your species don't have a sack?
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Post Sunday, 31st July 2016, 14:43

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

You rupture your splanch!
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif
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Post Sunday, 31st July 2016, 15:06

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Wikipedia wrote:A splanch is a type of single-family home that was popular in the New York metropolitan area from the 1950s through the 1970s.

Sorry what?
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Post Sunday, 31st July 2016, 15:30

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/1695.html
http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/1025.html
I think there actually was another comic named "Dungeon Crawl Inc." which used the word, but it has been offline for some time now.
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif

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Post Sunday, 31st July 2016, 16:47

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

vergil wrote:I+E). Nerf Freeze range, making it usable only if Vehumet is in mood.


They already nerfed it once.

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Halls Hopper

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Post Friday, 5th August 2016, 02:15

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

RE: vampires and mutagenic chunks

Spoiler: show
As a Vampire, I expected not to be able to eat mutagenic chunks. But if you butcher a mutagenic mob as a vampire, it only yields regular chunks of flesh. So, extrapolating... vampire DNA is 100% resistant to mutations. Otherwise, why isn't the flesh mutagenic?

Perhaps vampires lack the ability to sense whether meat is mutagenic. If so, that suggests that vampires evolved in isolation from their favored prey of mutants and freaks of nature. Any greenhorn who's set foot anywhere near a Dungeon knows this isn't the case. Further, vampires cannot bottle the blood of mutagenic creatures. Does the mutoid state congeal the blood or otherwise render it unsuitable somehow? Do vampires simply not like the taste of mutagenic blood? Whence cometh the confusion? Is a big eyeball within a golden pyramid to blame?

A mummy can butcher a mutagenic corpse and yield mutagenic chunks, even though it can't eat. Why are vampires oppressed? They deserve the right to chop up meat that they can't eat, just like the next unwanted sarcophaguest. They DESERVE an inedible snack or two to clog their inventory as they macro-wait until the end of the world. They need the flavor, man. The mummies are over there flappity-floppin' their bandage-arms at the vampires like "Dude, it's get-with-the-times time, dudes!" and we vampires are flipping and flapping our batly wings with gusto, but we just can't hack it.


Also:
I bought an expensive artifact cloak - a +0 cloak with Int+2. WOOOOOOOO.
So my suggestion is: When you buy something that is objectively not worth it, the description should say, "It is particularly good for wrenching money from hapless adventurers."
And you think you're capable of finding the ORB? I had it, you know. Then I gave it away so I could steal it AGAIN.

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Post Friday, 5th August 2016, 07:27

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Rast wrote:
vergil wrote:I+E). Nerf Freeze range, making it usable only if Vehumet is in mood.


They already nerfed it once.


It's still too viable. :P
Online Statistics
Road to: Great Ds (6/25): DsFi^Gozag 3 R, DsGl^Qaz 4 R, DsMo^Chei 5 R, {DsHu^Uska 6 R, DsAs^Uska 7 R}, DsAr^Chei 8 R.
In progress: DsWn... Currently out of time. Maybe someday.

Watch my streams here
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Halls Hopper

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Post Wednesday, 17th August 2016, 10:19

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Make the game draw the player overview like this:
Spoiler: show
Image
Image



A conversation with my bot about future updates:
  Code:
   Zephram> will DCSS devs ever remove food?
     Razma> Zephram: signs point to yes.
   Zephram> what if they're all signs that say "no"
   Zephram> imagine the bizarre theological implications
     Razma> what if the tables turn, and in doing so, cause the pizza slices to reorient themselves at a position disadvantageous for your hand?
     Razma> then you'll wish things HADN'T CHANGED


:o
And you think you're capable of finding the ORB? I had it, you know. Then I gave it away so I could steal it AGAIN.
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Halls Hopper

Posts: 85

Joined: Monday, 7th March 2016, 19:10

Post Thursday, 18th August 2016, 17:37

Re: Stupid ideas for 0.19

Amulet of the Charlatan
This amulet fortifies usage of Ivocations- and Piety-based abilities at the cost of doubling the Piety cost of divine ability use.
Invocations work as if the wearer's Invocations skill rating is 33% greater (not to exceed 27).
Abilities work as if the wearer's Piety were 30 greater than its actual score (not to exceed 200).
(This amulet can unlock abilities before one's actual Piety would allow it.)


Amulet of the Prostrate
This amulet fortifies Piety gain a bit, offering an alternative to Faith that people might want to use while being... well, not TOO scummable...
Reduces Piety drain from ability usage by (Invocations%)
Increases rate of Piety gain by ([Invocations * 0.5]%)
It does not provide its own Piety, but can also be taken off without losing Piety.
(Uskayaw forbids the use of this item. If you take this item off while under penance, you are excommunicated.)
And you think you're capable of finding the ORB? I had it, you know. Then I gave it away so I could steal it AGAIN.
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