The Tavern

Not to be taken seriously.

1. Bananas
There is a chance that the fruit you eat is a banana. Right now, the character will eat the peel. The PC should instead eschew the peel, and it will appear in a random tile beside it. The next bipedal creature to walk on the tile will fall on an adjacent square, being confused for one turn.

2. Acquired vampirism
When Jory explodes, you should get a message:

Code:: Some of Jory's blood has gotten in your mouth! Do you sPit or sWallow?

After you swallowed:

Code:: You are now a vampire! Your skills and attributes have been adapted accordingly.

If you worship one of the Good Gods:

Code:: The Shining One Says: >:( The Shining One Smites You! The Shining One Smites You Again! The Shining One Is Smiting You Like There's No Tomorrow! The Shining One Says: YOLO, thou perfidious infidel!

3. The Norwegian Blue
A unique undead shard shriek, the Norwegian Blue will inflict torment each time it loudly pines for the fjords.

4. Porn of Geryon
A unique spellbook, containing the stiffening spell "snakes to sticks."

5. Double Worship!
Get a roulette altar, which will randomly select two gods for you to worship! You will gain piety much more slowly and only receive half of both the god's granted abilities, but you will receive a unique gift at ******, based on the combined characters of your gods. So, if you will have gotten Ru and Yred, you will be able to sacrifice your toe and receive a curse toe as a permanent companion! The curse toe will cast torment each time you stub against furniture, and spread fungi according to your personal hygiene.

6. quick time events
centaur warrior shooting at you? hit the right movement key fast enough, and you can dodge it

7. pressure sensitivity
if you hit the keys harder your melee attacks do more damage

8. sex
every other modern rpg lets the PC romance the other characters and rewards the player with extremely awkward sex scenes. why should crawl be an exception in this regard

@duvessa: read the title ffs, this thread is for stupid ideas

9. Remove food.
Remove food.

10. More butchering based items.
Only dragons and trolls provide armor upon being killed? That just won't do.

Trolls can now offer their claws as gauntlets, works as a removable Claws 3 mutation, Draconians offer their heads as mask, lending you their breath weapon. Nagas offer their lower halves for constriction, much like their base race. Since none of these require necromancy, the good gods will approve.

11. Weed
Fedhas gifts weed. You can light a fat blunt with any source of fire to spew clouds of weed smoke that cut los, but it's very hungering.

12. Chat interactivity
Your tileschat spectators can use commands to spawn challenging enemies or loot, or do cool effects like mark you.

13. Sound effects
It makes the pokemon noise when you're low on hp and you can't turn it off. Every monster has its own unique shout, lovingly recorded by one of crawl's devoted players.

Hellmonk wrote:12. Chat interactivity
Your tileschat spectators can use commands to spawn challenging enemies or loot, or do cool effects like mark you.

this would unironically be a fun feature-opt in only, of course. every X amount of XP(amount increasing each time), a poll opens for what sort of effect will happen to the player.

basically, let spectators be Xom.

Elitist wrote:9. Remove food.
Remove food.

Reasonable or serious ideas don't belong here. Please read the title of the thread.

my ideas are never stupid, but a god idea of mine was once called stupid while i was at the luncheon table with the dev i was dating. its not much, but its not stupid as well, yet, being my only idea called stupid, here it is

Upon worship, all equipment is destroyed
Stomping
You cannot be bested in Combat
Console tile turns green, don`t know & don`t care what happens to tiles
dungeon spawns fans. You can pose for pictute, or stomping, fans as enemies,
Gain strength with pirety
at greater than ------ piety, stomping destroys everything around the player
single - you can never participate in perverted Minmay based sex Ideas

13. New Class: Apothecary

You start with no skill levels, no equipment, no money. All you get is 1 of each potion except potion of experience, and 5 of them are randomly IDed.

Tiktacy wrote:13. New Class: Apothecary

It's a TrAp!

duvessa wrote:7. pressure sensitivity
if you hit the keys harder your melee attacks do more damage

You mean they currently don't???

14. Motherly Gods
They will periodically ask you why you never invoke them and feel hurt when you don't pick up their gear ("You feel a wave of distant sadness")

15. New Item Ego: +respect
This item vocally requests to be accepted as it is. You may only identify it by wearing it - otherwise, it will break. It is hated by Ashenzari.

16. Partake or My Vision, Partake of My Curse
When it reaches max piety with Ashenzari, the PC will find itself chained to the sky and unable to continue.

17. Sorry, Mario: Treasure Hunt
In Zot:5 you find a post it: "Due to renovation works, the Orb has been moved to [some vault]". Just hope it hasn't also been moved from there, too.

18. New Species: Hell's Angel
A strange being on two wheels, a Hell's Angel is a mix of man and machine. One of his hands is always needed to steer. It can run at exceptional speed, but must continuously move, although it can lower its speed. It can only use one shield or one one-handed weapon. It is extremely loud and has 1/3 chances that any mutation it gets will be a rank in alcoholism (see next).

19. Add mutation: Alcoholism
You occasionally drink potions without a good reason. When lacking a potion, you will enter -Cold Turkey status, which causes fear, paralysis, confusion, and seeing illusionary foes on random intervals.
A character with glowing contamination has a bonus chance of developing alcoholism, if he drinks a contaminating potion during this time.

ydeve wrote:
Elitist wrote:9. Remove food.
Remove food.

Reasonable or serious ideas don't belong here. Please read the title of the thread.

Remove food.

Say "That was a spicy meal!" whenever you're in hydra form and you devour an enemy that had sticky flame applied to it

20. Player's dreams when resting 50+ turns occuring at 0.001% rate (all of stupid ideas could actually occur here)

Chance of a vision:
1. Being attacked by hellish buterflies.
2. Being attacked by removed creatures.
3. Chance of seeing your god's avatar telling you there's a hidden artifact beneath one of his altars.
4. Philosophical question with no benefit for player // Item to choose - sword, book or bread (what's the most important to you?)
5. What's outside of dungeon.
9. What's outside tentacled monstrosity portal.
6. Waking on a moon and noticing a moon troll which activates tornado.
7. Exploring some area until falling from a shaft which will wake you up.
8. Visiting Mara's castle.
9. Seeing an epic action from crawl's history.

And so on.

21.
The Zin says: Minotaur eating a beef jerky is as an act of cannbialism.

22: If you enter Zot with 15 runes it becomes SUPER Zot and hundreds of times more difficult. Completing it rewards you with the Cube of Zot instead.

Xion350 wrote:22: If you enter Zot with 15 runes it becomes SUPER Zot and hundreds of times more difficult. Completing it rewards you with the Cube of Zot instead.

Tesseract of Zot sounds cooler

Tiktacy wrote:
Xion350 wrote:22: If you enter Zot with 15 runes it becomes SUPER Zot and hundreds of times more difficult. Completing it rewards you with the Cube of Zot instead.

Tesseract of Zot sounds cooler

Good idea. Also it should do this.

23. Wood Magic
Enter a new elemental school: based on ancient to Chinese texts, we are proud to present wood magic! Spells like Throw Trunk, Splinter and Barricade will help you overcome the difficulties in the run for the Orb of Zot. Miscasts involve summoning living, flesh-eating furniture, getting a splinter under your nail and being surrounded and birch-slapped by a ring of angry lemon trees.

24) New UnRandArt:
+8 Beeskin Leather Armour {*Fragile, rPois+ EV+2 +Rage +Fly +Gong +Sting}
A curious armour made by sewing a large number of killer bees directly to pieces of leather, some of them still angrily buzz from time to time
It is Fragile, and will fall apart upon removing it
It makes you resistant to poison
It makes you harder to hit
It allows you to fly into a rage
It allows you to fly
It can generate large amounts of noise when struck in combat
It damages and can poison enemies who strike you

"OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!" - Nicolas Cage

Shard1697 wrote:Say "That was a spicy meal!" whenever you're in hydra form and you devour an enemy that had sticky flame applied to it

good news...

CanOfWorms wrote:
Shard1697 wrote:Say "That was a spicy meal!" whenever you're in hydra form and you devour an enemy that had sticky flame applied to it

good news...

Everyone involved in this sequence of events is the greatest person who has ever lived.

CanOfWorms wrote:
Shard1697 wrote:Say "That was a spicy meal!" whenever you're in hydra form and you devour an enemy that had sticky flame applied to it

good news...

This just made my day

25) Infinite ghost haunted levels: Every time you kill a ghost on a haunted level, two new ones spawn somewhere in the level. Ghosts stop spawning when no more are available on the server.

xentronium wrote:25) Infinite ghost haunted levels: Every time you kill a ghost on a haunted level, two new ones spawn somewhere in the level. Ghosts stop spawning when no more are available on the server.

Ladies and Gentlement, we have a new 1-floor branch: Panghostonium!

26. Rename all tengu to pidgeons.

27) a new god based one this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSVeDx9fk60

28. When a red, a jellow, a purple, a blue and a black draconians are all adjacent to each other, they can merge to become Megazord.

29. When you escape the orb, play this victory video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

note: it's a safe video to watch, rated PG. Think hyper crazy anime.

Turn jellies into candies, turn TRJ into pudding, turn death jellies into blood pudding, turn blue jellies into Irish coffee, rename Slime Pits into Refreshing Stop and Jiyva into Willy Wonka.

compilation: https://crawl.develz.org/wiki/doku.php?id=dcss:planning:0.19_plan

31. Scroll of tampering: Randomly changes a number of numerical variables in the game code for the duration of the game. Gifted by Xom if extremely bored.

32. Separate fruit into a dozen or so sub-fruits, promoting flavor vaults, making players carefully consider inventory management, and creating an overall more fulfilling role playing experience.

Cheibrodos wrote:32. Separate fruit into a dozen or so sub-fruits, promoting flavor vaults, making players carefully consider inventory management, and creating an overall more fulfilling role playing experience.

this, except snozzcumbers, and unironically

Arrhythmia wrote:
Cheibrodos wrote:32. Separate fruit into a dozen or so sub-fruits, promoting flavor vaults, making players carefully consider inventory management, and creating an overall more fulfilling role playing experience.

this, except snozzcumbers, and unironically

You know I'm down.

33. Felids can now wear boots.

Spoiler: show

34. Vampire Leather Armour.

When your AC roll is greater than damage roll, you get healed for the difference. The only way to get the item is to kill Jory who has 1% to be generated with the item. Base AC 3, ER 4 like standard leather.

Inspired by

duvessa wrote:In the less charitable, and more realistic case, AC and GDR are actually closer together; because you cannot take negative damage

35. Make Tomb a portal so it can be entered just once, replace permanent stairs with Hell-like stairs. All upstairs lead to Crypt.

Stairdancing problem is solved, tedium problem is solved, you can even start to see winners with 14 runes.

36. Move golden rune to Elf 3, place zig figurine where rune used to be. Remove crypt from the game, place entrance to tomb in vaults. Replace some mummies with crypt enemies. Increase treasure yield in tomb.

39: Double Worship (TSO + Zin)
The final gift granted by worshipping TSO and Zin at the same time, as described in #5:
You activate both of their final gifts at the same time, on the same target.
If you target a demonic weapon, TSO will change it into an eudemon blade, while Zin will remove this mutation from the weapon. The result is a demon blade of holy wrath you can't use without angering your gods.
If you use it on yourself, Zin will remove your mutations, then TSO will permanently turn you into a weapon of holy wrath (game rolls a die to know which one; larger races have more chances to be turned into two handed weapons).

40. The Singing Sword's voice will become deeper as you descend into the Dungeon. If the sword is generated female, she starts as a soprano, becoming a mezzo-soprano in the depths and a contralto in Zot. If the sword is generated male, he starts as a tenor, later becoming a baritone and bass. If the sword is generated in the Depths or lower, she starts as a castrated male and remains such. The voice register changes the songs quoted by the sword.

41. If you are wearing a troll leather armour, there is a slight chance of a troll screaming: "You are wearing my Daddy!".

42. If you are wearing a troll leather armour, there is a slight chance that a troll will think you are a troll. He will then invoke a moderator to permaban you from the dungeon.

43. If you miscast Earth Magic hard enough, the Dungeon will start talking.

39. If you already have 3 runes, eat a mutagenic chunk and get 3 mutations instantly, make one of them permanent (so even Zin/Jiyva/Xom cannot remove it). Mutation roulette should be fun even in extended.

Catana: ancient sword which may only be found on Natasha.

Shtopit wrote:Catana: ancient sword which may only be created by using scroll of enchant weapon on the hide of Natasha.

46. Elvyvilon gets serious: he will occasionally break the weapons of those who refuse to be pacified. This may cause shrapnel and potentially deadly wounds, further inspiring those present to obey the will of the Peacemaker (also the name of the B-36 strategic bomber, which never fought a war, but was pretty imposing nonetheless).

47. Scared dragons will scream "Mother of Dragons!"

48. If we do go to single turn for all food, we can rework that stupid hungry ghost effect that nobody likes into something that makes food actually matter again. Hungry ghost attacks now force you to eat your food, and if you don't kill it in time you will get a stomach rupture status.

49. Washing Pole. An unrand +3 *Fragile, Reaching Katana. Attacks with the Washing Pole never leave blood stains and have a 25% chance of removing bloodstains from nearby tiles. Attacks with the Washing Pole have a 25% chance of briefly spawning shallow water on top of or on a random tile around the target.

48. A desperate attempt to get the numbering correct.

Arrhythmia wrote:48. A desperate attempt to get the numbering correct.

51. When a follower of Makhleb is defeated, there is a chance that he will whisper: "I just wanted to watch the world burn..."

52. If you are killed by a fire effect, you get this message:

Code:: B-B-B-BUUUUUUUUUURNNN!!! You die.

53. Kobolds, as a fearful specie will run away from you if you're far stronger than them, dropping weapon and vanishing instantly.
54. Kobolds now have special "Activate Trap" skill which increases trap activation zone to 3x3 area and instantly spawning one in the LOS.
55. Rename race Deep Dwarf to - Dwarf - since there are no other subtypes.
56. Add evocable Guitars which enhance your Charms/Summonings skill and buff other creatures.
57. Change Necromancy to Dark Magic, add Holy Magic with Angel Form as a top tier spell. Every good deed will add a small bonus to its power.
58. Throwing artifact into lava will generate 3x3 burst of fire.
59. Dead Earth Elementals leave pile of stones.
60. 'Summon Familiar' with increased power for each spectacor.

61. Snozzcumbers can now be wielded as a single use weapon. If you hit a monster with a Snozzcumber, you will hear numerous shouts, as all giants on the level will flock to his position and try to kill him.

62. A new Wizlab, named Clayworks, containing a new monster: the Hydria. Hydrias are magical vases; they can use Earth Magic to extrude smite-targeting spikes from the dungeon floor, and are imbued with regenerative properties. Each time a hydria is hit with a crushing weapon, the broken pieces will generate new, fully healthy hydrias. A single hydria can generate up to 20 direct and indirect descendants this way.
The Bottomless Hydria is a unique hydria which strikes with water magic and can generate up to 50 descendants. These were once used in Hell to torment the Danaids.

The Tavern

Stupid ideas -- Started for 0.19, and Still Running!

Stupid ideas -- Started for 0.19, and Still Running!

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