Divine Limericks


If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it belongs here. Also, come here if you just need to get hammered.

Halls Hopper

Posts: 76

Joined: Monday, 12th May 2014, 15:51

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 18:31

Divine Limericks

This is how we do it: write a limerick about your favorite god. You must include the god's name or abbreviated name and their "catchphrase" somewhere in the poem. For example, "spread unending torment and darkness" is Kiku's catchphrase.

Whoever writes the best limericks will have Crazy Yiuf spawn with a lajatang of chaos in their next DCSS game.

Me first...

Chei worship ain't really so nasty
Torpor snails won't find you tasty
Should you step out of line
Just step out of time!
Take it easy; you need not be hasty
User avatar

Zot Zealot

Posts: 937

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:04

Rumbleguts wrote: You must include the god's name or abbreviated name and their "catchphrase" somewhere in the poem.

It's a bit challenging to include the catchphrase. Well, here's at least one limerick without it:

My chars like worshipping Ash
Pray at the altar and bash
Every orc
Including blork
And take his equipment and cash.
Last edited by Turukano on Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:18, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar

Zot Zealot

Posts: 937

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:16

Whenever you worship Zin
Butchering trolls is a sin
It's better to fight
And spread the light
Get your TLA elsewhere and win!
User avatar

Tomb Titivator

Posts: 793

Joined: Tuesday, 28th January 2014, 16:08

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:21

Re: Divine Limericks

There once was a lad named Greyr
Who had dreams of becoming a slayer
So to the dungeon he went
Fedhas he met
Now Greyr the slayer is vegan that only shops at Whole Foods and wears hemp canvas t-shirts.
If you are offended by something I've posted, just PM me. It probably wasn't intentional.

Vaults Vanquisher

Posts: 428

Joined: Friday, 17th December 2010, 22:07

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:32

Re: Divine Limericks

One day a diety named Trog
Was relaxing while stroking his log
Along came a troll
Who cleaved off his pole
And used it to clobber a frog.

For this message the author Moose has received thanks: 3
duvessa, Sar, tedric
User avatar

Zot Zealot

Posts: 937

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:33

If you look for a stealthy fight
There's a useful idea in sight
Just win the game with
The really shadowy Dith
And spread the eternal night.

Vaults Vanquisher

Posts: 428

Joined: Friday, 17th December 2010, 22:07

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:36

Re: Divine Limericks

There once was a lass named Sif Muna
Whose nethers smelled just like dead tuna
While scooping about
Five large fish fell out
And swam their way back to the laguna

For this message the author Moose has received thanks: 4
duvessa, Sar, Sprucery, Turukano
User avatar

Zot Zealot

Posts: 937

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:38

In my games I've never been with
The recently introduced Dith
But if only I might
Spread the eternal night
(And now there's no ryhme. Shith!)

Vaults Vanquisher

Posts: 428

Joined: Friday, 17th December 2010, 22:07

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:45

Re: Divine Limericks

When I burst, I like to drizzle on
A fine broad named Elyvilon
There's just no disgrace
When I shoot on her face:
She moans, even though I'm a Demonspawn.

For this message the author Moose has received thanks: 4
A boy and his god, duvessa, Hirsch I, Sar
User avatar

Zot Zealot

Posts: 937

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:50

You like turning foes into shards?
You know that it's all in the cards?
You'll get plenty of them
When you are with Nem
But don't expect other rewards.

Vaults Vanquisher

Posts: 428

Joined: Friday, 17th December 2010, 22:07

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 19:57

Re: Divine Limericks

There once was a codger named Zin
And you've never heard such a din
As when he sat on the throne,
With a grunt and moan,
And cried, "Oh why did I eat Mexican!?"

For this message the author Moose has received thanks: 2
duvessa, Sar

Vaults Vanquisher

Posts: 428

Joined: Friday, 17th December 2010, 22:07

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 20:11

Re: Divine Limericks

If you choose to bed with Jivya
Oh, the diseases he'll give ya
Zot-rash and mumps,
Genital sores, and bumps,
Bad breath, Ebola, and Chlamydia.

For this message the author Moose has received thanks: 4
A boy and his god, duvessa, Sar, Sprucery

Vaults Vanquisher

Posts: 428

Joined: Friday, 17th December 2010, 22:07

Post Wednesday, 8th October 2014, 22:17

Re: Divine Limericks

Thus spoke up a god named Ru:
And said as the ogre withdrew,
"The spriggan is quicker,
And slicker, and thicker,
and longer and stronger than you."

[adapted]

For this message the author Moose has received thanks: 3
duvessa, Sar, Sprucery
User avatar

Zot Zealot

Posts: 937

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Saturday, 5th March 2016, 20:03

You took Chei and I'd like to ask why.
Imagine an ogre comes by,
it's too early to slouch
instead, you read "Ouch!
That really hurt!" and "You die..."

For this message the author Turukano has received thanks:
ZoFy

Sar

User avatar

Ziggurat Zagger

Posts: 6418

Joined: Friday, 6th July 2012, 12:48

Post Saturday, 5th March 2016, 20:11

Re: Divine Limericks

Thank you, that was funny!

Tomb Titivator

Posts: 881

Joined: Sunday, 30th December 2012, 05:26

Post Saturday, 5th March 2016, 22:26

Re: Divine Limericks

Turukano wrote:You took Chei and I'd like to ask why.
Imagine an ogre comes by,
it's too early to slouch
instead, you read "Ouch!
That really hurt!" and "You die..."

amusedthanks
User avatar

Ziggurat Zagger

Posts: 4288

Joined: Wednesday, 23rd October 2013, 07:56

Post Saturday, 5th March 2016, 23:44

Re:

Turukano wrote:You took Chei and I'd like to ask why.
Imagine an ogre comes by,
it's too early to slouch
instead, you read "Ouch!
That really hurt!" and "You die..."

Thanks for a laugh, and wise words!
...{HaBeKoAK}CeVM{MfWnMiAK}TeAMDrIE{FoVMVSFi}{MuVMGhGlVpMo}HaWrSpWz{OgGlTrMo}{CeWnMfBeMiSk}
DrEE{GrFiFoGl}DgEnFeNe{OpGlHuSu}DDArHaCKSpAEGrTmDgFEDsCjGhMoHuVM{HaAMBaEn}{HuMoHOWn}
DsWzDDHu{DgWnGnBe}FeIE{MiEnMfCj}SpNeBaEEGrFE{HaAKTrCK}DsFESpHu{FoArNaBe}FeEE
User avatar

Crypt Cleanser

Posts: 689

Joined: Sunday, 3rd June 2012, 13:10

Post Sunday, 6th March 2016, 02:14

Re: Divine Limericks

There once was a man named berder
Who took to a chicken like murder
With a maul in his hands
He made his demands
And did as his name: he bird her
Dearest Steve
thanks for the gym equipment
the plane crashed
User avatar

Crypt Cleanser

Posts: 689

Joined: Sunday, 3rd June 2012, 13:10

Post Sunday, 6th March 2016, 02:22

Re: Divine Limericks

Tab Tab Tab Tab Tab Tab Tab
Tab Tab Tab Tab Tab Tab Tab Tab
o o o o o
o o o o o
Tab Tab Tab Tab Tab
Dearest Steve
thanks for the gym equipment
the plane crashed
User avatar

Zot Zealot

Posts: 937

Joined: Monday, 15th April 2013, 15:10

Location: Augsburg, Germany

Post Sunday, 6th March 2016, 12:02

Tab tabtab tab tabtab Oh hi!
Tab tabtab tab tabtab Oh my
Tab tabtab Oh no
Tab tab "HP LOW!"
Tab tabtab tab tabtab "You die..."
Last edited by Turukano on Monday, 11th April 2016, 06:43, edited 1 time in total.

Abyss Ambulator

Posts: 1221

Joined: Thursday, 10th March 2011, 19:45

Post Sunday, 6th March 2016, 12:08

Re: Divine Limericks

While worshipping Makhleb, young Fred
Suddenly ended up dead.
And in the morgue file:
"a balrug, hostile."
He should have trained Invocations instead.

Return to Crazy Yiuf's Corner

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by ST Software for PTF.