Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense


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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 08:58

Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Wolves AND Sheep attacking you at the same time.
Eels being immune to electricity.

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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 09:36

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

centaurs

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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 09:43

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

lethediver wrote:centaurs

But...They do. Love will always find a way.
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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 09:51

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Hitting a bee with a halberd.
...{HaBeKoAK}CeVM{MfWnMiAK}TeAMDrIE{FoVMVSFi}{MuVMGhGlVpMo}HaWrSpWz{OgGlTrMo}{CeWnMfBeMiSk}
DrEE{GrFiFoGl}DgEnFeNe{OpGlHuSu}DDArHaCKSpAEGrTmDgFEDsCjGhMoHuVM{HaAMBaEn}{HuMoHOWn}
DsWzDDHu{DgWnGnBe}FeIE{MiEnMfCj}SpNeBaEEGrFE{HaAKTrCK}DsFESpHu{FoArNaBe}FeEE

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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 10:21

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Sprucery wrote:Hitting a bee with a halberd.

Totally. And a passage being blocked by a butterfly! :lol:
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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 10:39

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

vergil wrote:
lethediver wrote:centaurs

But...They do. Love will always find a way.


The first centaurs where the result of a man banging a woman-shaped cloud, so...
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Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif, 3DsMoOka
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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 10:56

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Playing crawl,
The Original Discourse Respecter

Sar

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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 11:14

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

not funny

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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 12:42

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

A big Troll and a small Kobold can walk through the same water tiles.

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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 12:46

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Giant cockroaches can bathe in lava
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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 13:21

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

The PC is the only unlucky troll which needs to eat. All other trolls are breatharians.
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif, 3DsMoOka

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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 19:10

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Clinging
twelwe wrote:It's like Blink, but you end up drowning.

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Post Monday, 29th August 2016, 23:06

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

players fantasizing about incest

oh wait that isn't funny it's just gross

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 00:05

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

stop kink shaming us.
my posts are to be read in a mildly playful tone, with a deep, sexy voice.

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 05:56

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Hirsch I wrote:stop kink shaming us.

That's not kink shaming, that's calling out something gross and unfunny.
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 05:57

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

There's nothing wrong with incest though.

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 06:12

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

The whole XP and XL system do not make sense. A novice enters the dungeon, and a few hours later he (she) becomes an archmage or something similar.
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 06:40

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

You can carry 52 crystal plate mails (it'll take a while to collect them though), but not 53 hats.
...{HaBeKoAK}CeVM{MfWnMiAK}TeAMDrIE{FoVMVSFi}{MuVMGhGlVpMo}HaWrSpWz{OgGlTrMo}{CeWnMfBeMiSk}
DrEE{GrFiFoGl}DgEnFeNe{OpGlHuSu}DDArHaCKSpAEGrTmDgFEDsCjGhMoHuVM{HaAMBaEn}{HuMoHOWn}
DsWzDDHu{DgWnGnBe}FeIE{MiEnMfCj}SpNeBaEEGrFE{HaAKTrCK}DsFESpHu{FoArNaBe}FeEE

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 07:07

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

BabyRage wrote:There's nothing wrong with incest though.

As long as you are a cat or a chicken, sure.
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif, 3DsMoOka
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 07:09

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Shtopit wrote:
BabyRage wrote:There's nothing wrong with incest though.

As long as you are a cat or a chicken, sure.

As long as you are not the one doing it.

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 09:40

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Eating a piece of meat of the third floor of a Crypt "really hits the spot".
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 10:52

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

punching someone is apparently less effective than scratching them
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 14:08

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Two pieces of fruit is more satisfying than a pizza.
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 18:22

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

it's American pizza
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 18:55

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

so it should be considerably more satisfying, got it

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 19:03

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

ITT we find out minmay's never seen a Chicago style pizza.
take it easy

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 19:14

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

when i feel like eating deep dish pizza i don't bother leaving the house, i just pour tomato sauce on a block of cheap mozzarella, microwave it, and chug the result. the outcome is the same and it's faster and cheaper

but yes i realize that in america you can still get pizza that tastes good at the expense of hating yourself even more than you already do. but i've never encountered a self-loathing-free pizza that i didn't either make myself, or pay out the ass for.

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 19:59

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

ITT we find out minmay's never paid $2 for a single slice that's a quarter of a full pizza on the streets of new york, either

the description of deep dish is pretty fuckin' spot-on tho
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 20:22

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

dracos369 wrote:punching someone is apparently less effective than scratching them


You only "scratch" if you have the Claws mutations. There's a reason that cats aren't known for their boxing skills.
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 20:45

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

jwoodward48ss wrote:
dracos369 wrote:punching someone is apparently less effective than scratching them


You only "scratch" if you have the Claws mutations. There's a reason that cats aren't known for their boxing skills.

Because they do Muay Thai instead?
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I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif, 3DsMoOka

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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 22:43

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

How did you get that photo of my FeBe?
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Post Tuesday, 30th August 2016, 22:55

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

tedric wrote:ITT we find out minmay's never paid $2 for a single slice that's a quarter of a full pizza on the streets of new york, either

the description of deep dish is pretty fuckin' spot-on tho


The former might be covered by the "at the expense of hating yourself even more than you already do" clause.

Within walking distance of my apartment there is a cheap by-the-slice thin crust place that is really good and not too greasy, and this other bougie, expensive place that I would avoid save for special occasions, because it is costly, except it has a great deal on Tuesdays. (Two whole specialty pizzas of your choice for 20 bucks, including stuff with ingredients like burrata, baked clams, homemade white mushroom sauce, etc.)

So, basically I'm pretty happy with my pizza situation.

Deep dish is 99% awful but there are a very few places that actually manage it right. I hated deep dish until friends took me out to some places in Chicago that specialize in it. Now I still hate it, mostly, but have to include this goddamn asterisk and note every time.
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Post Wednesday, 31st August 2016, 00:49

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

and into wrote:
tedric wrote:ITT we find out minmay's never paid $2 for a single slice that's a quarter of a full pizza on the streets of new york, either

the description of deep dish is pretty fuckin' spot-on tho


The former might be covered by the "at the expense of hating yourself even more than you already do" clause.


Anyone who hates street food is no friend of mine.
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Post Wednesday, 31st August 2016, 03:42

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Speaking as a Chicagoan, in my opinion, our city's "famous" deep dish pizza is tourist trap tier cuisine.

Other nonsensical things about crawl include:

    -Gargoyles can continue to fly while paralyzed
    -People can meet their own ghosts
    -A gigantic ogre can wear the same robes that fit spriggans, but a medium size draconian can't manage it
    -Dungeon dwellers are willing to sacrifice hundreds of themselves to kill the PC when they could just worship Uskayaw for free, kill some random bystanders, and telefrag him with 100% success rate
    -Sunny beaches are stacked one on top of the other several thousand feet down in a dungeon
    -Every player character who enters the dungeon, even an Int 4 minotaur, has a photographic memory of every tile and item they've ever revealed (and can also reach into their backpack and instantly draw out desired items with 100% accuracy)
    -TSO's angels have no problem sharing a dungeon level with mummies, ancient liches, and demons, but when they see their god's chosen, holy weapon wielding, divine champion wreathed in celestial light, they become enraged and attack
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Post Wednesday, 31st August 2016, 04:05

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

- where are the bathrooms

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Post Wednesday, 31st August 2016, 04:09

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

PleasingFungus wrote:- where are the bathrooms


Fountains plus getting creative
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Post Wednesday, 31st August 2016, 04:50

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

PleasingFungus wrote:- where are the bathrooms

why do you think the player fumbles in shallow water?

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Post Wednesday, 31st August 2016, 05:32

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

and into wrote:
tedric wrote:ITT we find out minmay's never paid $2 for a single slice that's a quarter of a full pizza on the streets of new york, either

the description of deep dish is pretty fuckin' spot-on tho


The former might be covered by the "at the expense of hating yourself even more than you already do" clause.

Within walking distance of my apartment there is a cheap by-the-slice thin crust place that is really good and not too greasy, and this other bougie, expensive place that I would avoid save for special occasions, because it is costly, except it has a great deal on Tuesdays. (Two whole specialty pizzas of your choice for 20 bucks, including stuff with ingredients like burrata, baked clams, homemade white mushroom sauce, etc.)

So, basically I'm pretty happy with my pizza situation.

Deep dish is 99% awful but there are a very few places that actually manage it right. I hated deep dish until friends took me out to some places in Chicago that specialize in it. Now I still hate it, mostly, but have to include this goddamn asterisk and note every time.

Oh my god now I want a burrata and baked clam pizza. Why. D:
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Post Thursday, 1st September 2016, 09:59

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

BabyRage wrote:
Shtopit wrote:
BabyRage wrote:There's nothing wrong with incest though.

As long as you are a cat or a chicken, sure.

As long as you are not the one doing it.


First he was like this:
Spoiler: show
Image


Then he was like this:
Spoiler: show
Image


Then she was like this:
Spoiler: show
Image
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif, 3DsMoOka
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Post Thursday, 1st September 2016, 12:53

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

jwoodward48ss wrote:
dracos369 wrote:punching someone is apparently less effective than scratching them


You only "scratch" if you have the Claws mutations. There's a reason that cats aren't known for their boxing skills.

I've been both punched by some dudes and scratched by a cat, and I can tell you, being punched hurts a lot more
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Post Thursday, 1st September 2016, 16:46

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

that cat was a pussy

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Post Thursday, 1st September 2016, 16:48

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Shtopit wrote:First he was like this:
Spoiler: show
Image


Then he was like this:
Spoiler: show
Image


Then she was like this:
Spoiler: show
Image



I don't get it.

Actually seems like it's a reference to Oedipus from Greek mythology. Dunno why you posted this though.
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Post Thursday, 1st September 2016, 18:13

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Oedipus was the son of the king and queen of Thebes. While she was still pregnant, it was foretold by the prophet Tiresias that Oedipus would kill his father and have a sexual relation with his mother. Because of this, as soon as he was born, Oedipus was left on a mountain to die, bound by the feet to a tree. However, the baby was found by a shepherd, who grew him like a son. In the meantime, a Sphinx went to live by the gates of Thebes; she would ask riddles to the travellers and killed those who gave the wrong answer (all of them). Oedipus decided to challenge the Sphynx. While he was on the road, he met the King but he didn't recognize him as such, nor did he know that he was his father. They got in a driver's quarrel, and Oedipus killed him. Later, he got to Thebes, which was ruled by Creon while the King was away. He challenged the Sphinx, solved her riddles and killed her. He was hailed as a hero by the people of Thebes. Later they received the news of the death of the king, and the queen was married to Oedipus, with whom she had two daughters and two sons. However, Thebes was struck by a terrible drought. Creon goes to a oracle and the oracle tells him that the drought will cease once the murderer of the King is found and brought to justice. Following the investigation and the deposition of various witnesses, Oedipus is recognized as the killer; the queen then is reminded of the prophecy and asks Oedipus about his past. When Oedipus says that he was found on the mountain bound to a tree by his feet, the queen runs away. Tiresias explains to him that Oedipus was his own wife's son. The queen hangs herself, while Oedipus gouges his own eyes out and leaves Thebes forever, accompanied by one of his daughters, thus punishing himself for the murder of the king and curing the drought.
Thebes is then ruled by Creon again, until the sons of Oedipus are grown up, after which they rule together for some time. However, they cannot agree on many things, and one of them, Eteocles, excludes the other from the rule. The second son, Polynikes, then leaves Thebes, collects an army abroad and attacks Thebes. Tiresias foresees that Thebes can only be saved if Creon's son is offered as sacrifice; the young man sacrifices himself. Oedipus's sons meet each other at the gates and kill each other. In the end, the foreign army is destroyed.
Creon rules again and orders to only bury Eteocles and leave Polynikes's body to be eaten by the dogs, since he attacked his own city. However, each night sand is poured on Polynikes's body as a symbolic burial. It turns out that it is Antigone, Oedipus's second daughter, betrothed to Creon's second son Haemon. She is then processed by Creon, who believes that she owes her allegiance only to the city of Thebes, which Polynikes tried to destroy, while she answers that she cannot defile the laws of religion and family for the sake of the city. Creon then condemns her to be buried alive in an underground cell. Tiresias then informs Creon that he is making a huge mistake and goes to bury Polynikes himself. Fearing more divine retribution on the city, Creon decides to free Antigone, but, once he has the underground room open, they find that she already has smothered herself to avoid a slow death. Haemon then first tries to kill Creon, but, when he is stopped by his men, he kills himself. Once the news reach Creon's wife, she also kills herself.
Creon was later killed by an invader who conquered Thebes.

All of this happened because of a curse placed on the King (Oedipus's father) after he raped the boy he was supposed to tutor.
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Spoiler: show
3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif, 3DsMoOka

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Post Thursday, 1st September 2016, 18:53

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

BabyRage wrote:Actually seems like it's a reference to Oedipus from Greek mythology. Dunno why you posted this though.

Because incest
I Feel the Need--the Need for Beer
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3DsBeTr, 15DsFiRu, 3DsMoNe, 3FoHuGo, 3TrArOk, 3HOFEVe, 3MfGlOk, 4GrEEVe, 3BaIEChei, 3HuMoOka, 3MiWnQaz, 3VSFiAsh, 3DrTmMakh, 3DsCKXom, 3OgMoOka, 3NaFiOka, 3FoFiOka, 3MuFEVeh, 3CeHuOka, 3TrMoTSO, 3DEFESif, 3DsMoOka

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Post Thursday, 1st September 2016, 20:25

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

What about forests?
What about the forests?
Nope
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Post Thursday, 1st September 2016, 21:48

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

Shtopit wrote:Oedipus was the son of the king and queen of Thebes. While she was still pregnant, it was foretold by the prophet Tiresias that Oedipus would kill his father and have a sexual relation with his mother. Because of this, as soon as he was born, Oedipus was left on a mountain to die, bound by the feet to a tree. However, the baby was found by a shepherd, who grew him like a son. In the meantime, a Sphinx went to live by the gates of Thebes; she would ask riddles to the travellers and killed those who gave the wrong answer (all of them). Oedipus decided to challenge the Sphynx. While he was on the road, he met the King but he didn't recognize him as such, nor did he know that he was his father. They got in a driver's quarrel, and Oedipus killed him. Later, he got to Thebes, which was ruled by Creon while the King was away. He challenged the Sphinx, solved her riddles and killed her. He was hailed as a hero by the people of Thebes. Later they received the news of the death of the king, and the queen was married to Oedipus, with whom she had two daughters and two sons. However, Thebes was struck by a terrible drought. Creon goes to a oracle and the oracle tells him that the drought will cease once the murderer of the King is found and brought to justice. Following the investigation and the deposition of various witnesses, Oedipus is recognized as the killer; the queen then is reminded of the prophecy and asks Oedipus about his past. When Oedipus says that he was found on the mountain bound to a tree by his feet, the queen runs away. Tiresias explains to him that Oedipus was his own wife's son. The queen hangs herself, while Oedipus gouges his own eyes out and leaves Thebes forever, accompanied by one of his daughters, thus punishing himself for the murder of the king and curing the drought.
Thebes is then ruled by Creon again, until the sons of Oedipus are grown up, after which they rule together for some time. However, they cannot agree on many things, and one of them, Eteocles, excludes the other from the rule. The second son, Polynikes, then leaves Thebes, collects an army abroad and attacks Thebes. Tiresias foresees that Thebes can only be saved if Creon's son is offered as sacrifice; the young man sacrifices himself. Oedipus's sons meet each other at the gates and kill each other. In the end, the foreign army is destroyed.
Creon rules again and orders to only bury Eteocles and leave Polynikes's body to be eaten by the dogs, since he attacked his own city. However, each night sand is poured on Polynikes's body as a symbolic burial. It turns out that it is Antigone, Oedipus's second daughter, betrothed to Creon's second son Haemon. She is then processed by Creon, who believes that she owes her allegiance only to the city of Thebes, which Polynikes tried to destroy, while she answers that she cannot defile the laws of religion and family for the sake of the city. Creon then condemns her to be buried alive in an underground cell. Tiresias then informs Creon that he is making a huge mistake and goes to bury Polynikes himself. Fearing more divine retribution on the city, Creon decides to free Antigone, but, once he has the underground room open, they find that she already has smothered herself to avoid a slow death. Haemon then first tries to kill Creon, but, when he is stopped by his men, he kills himself. Once the news reach Creon's wife, she also kills herself.
Creon was later killed by an invader who conquered Thebes.

All of this happened because of a curse placed on the King (Oedipus's father) after he raped the boy he was supposed to tutor.


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Post Friday, 2nd September 2016, 00:26

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

That gibberish all looks like Greek to me. TLDR'd.
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Post Friday, 2nd September 2016, 02:39

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

TL;DR: mommy and daddy abandon baby to die. baby grows up to murder daddy and fuck mommy. and it looks like he's all outta daddy.
my posts are to be read in a mildly playful tone, with a deep, sexy voice.

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Post Saturday, 3rd September 2016, 16:42

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

The player is always hungry. But never thirsty.

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Post Saturday, 3rd September 2016, 18:37

Re: Some funny Crawl things that don't make sense

tach3 wrote:The player is always hungry. But never thirsty.

Wrong. -> Vp
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