The Tavern

Tell the janitor, "why are you sad? You are just a figment of my subconscious, and when I wake up, you will cease to be. You don't even exist, so none of your problems can actually be important to you, they are provably just minmay's problems. Doesn't that make you feel better?"

Then go check out the computer.

You ask the janitor why he's sad. Before you can get the rest of your words out, he interrupts. "Because I have to use a canister vacuum! These things are the worst!"

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Three pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

You sit down at one of the computers. It's running Windows 2000. There are desktop icons for Internet Explorer, Netscape Navigator, and Sheep.

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Three pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

Run Sheep

minmay wrote:It's running Windows 2000.

Oh, it is a nightmare after all.

I'm sorry your mother never loved you, Minmay. :'(

omg it was a joke because he complained about a vacuum canister...

You double-click on Sheep. Explorer is set to single-click mode, so it runs twice. A sheep jumps out of the screen and lands gracefully by your side.
"Hey! Didn't you read the sign?" The janitor points to a sign on the wall you didn't notice before. It says ATTENTION: NO PULLING SHEEP OUT OF COMPUTERS. "Get that thing out of here!"

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Three pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

Stuff sheep into CD/Cupholder

The sheep wouldn't fit.

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Three pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

That doesn't matter. This is a dream. Put it in there anyway. What's the point of dreams if they're gonna tell me it's too tight anyway?

run internet explorer and google how to get sheep out of libraries

ydeve wrote:run internet explorer and google how to get sheep out of libraries

You will probably have to use like altavista or lycos instead.

You open Internet Explorer 5. The computer has no Internet connection, but a couple dozen toolbars and BonziBuddy appear on the screen. The sheep bleats.

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Three pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

Search sheep.

run netscape navigator

As you prepare to search the sheep, the janitor walks over and drags you and the sheep out of the library, then slams the door. The sheep bleats. A piece of paper falls out of its wool; you take it. You have a strange feeling that you need to find one more clue...
You search the sheep. You find a bunch of wool attached to the sheep. You also find out that it's a ewe. The ewe bleats.

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◼═◻ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

Take the sheep's wool. Also, go back to visit the ruined bee library.

You can't take the wool. It's firmly attached to the ewe with 5-part ewepoxy. You return to what's left of the Lincoln memorial. All the bees, cannons, and books are gone. After a search, you determine that there's nothing left but rubble and bee corpses.

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox (wielded) MAP ◼ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◻ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

eat the killer bee corpses

Read the sheep note. Then go east and go all the way south past the hotel library.

Idly wonder if "DP" stands for "Dildo Points".

You examine the acronyms section of the manual.
HP - Hair Points. As you take damage, your hair stats get worse.
PP - Pee Points. Pee is used for special abilities.
GP - Genital Points. To improve the condition of your genitals, you will need to find special items.
DP - Dream Points. As you take damage in a dream, your dream energy depletes. If it reaches 0, nothing happens.
MP - Manufacturing Points. When you create dream stuff in your dreams, it uses dream energy, but you can convert conjured items back into MP with no loss.
AC - Ass Capacity. Limits the maximum size of items that you can put in your inventory.
ZP - [LOCKED]
LP - [LOCKED]
EV - [LOCKED]
SH - [LOCKED]
XL - [LOCKED]

You convert some dead bees into MP, even though you're already at the maximum. (+1 MP)
You read the note that came from the sheep. It has the number '9' on it.
You return to the room with your car, then go south. You find yourself in your garage.
"Quick! Grab a shovel! The zombies are coming! We need to practice!" A woman your age suddenly appears and throws you a shovel. She has her own shovel, too. She starts swinging it at your shovel.

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox Shovel (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◻ ║ ◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

that post made me update the dream script to handle newlines correctly lol

Practice shovel fighting with the woman and ask her about the zombies.

Is this game still updated? Or do we need to start play DCSS again?

still active, just need to take care of some other things

How are we going to know when we've gathered 4000 thanks when thanks are no longer counted for us?

actually all the thanks-related pages are still there:
https://crawl.develz.org/tavern/thankslist.php
https://crawl.develz.org/tavern/thankslist.php?mode=givens&author_id=2152&give=false
https://crawl.develz.org/tavern/thankslist.php?mode=givens&author_id=2152&give=true

Since when is the number of thanks not shown below number of posts? Now it's hard to find out a person's thanks/posts ratio (aka "cool dude quotient")

Thank Duvessa, then get the game on with picking the zombie lady for a number which we all assume is nine so it's probably not which means it probably, likely is.

what if the 9

is actually a 6

njvack wrote:what if the 9

is actually a 6

I don't mind, I don't mind.

But what if all the hippies cut off all their hair?

You practice shovel fighting for a few minutes.
"Wait, I just realized something," says the woman. "There isn't actually a zombie apocalypse. We're just on acid." You suddenly remember that you dropped like 5 tabs of LSD-25 a few minutes ago. "Want to go inside and eat some cornbread?"

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox Shovel (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◻ ║ ◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

Ask her, "Is it okay to eat cornbread on acid?" If, and only if, she answers in the affirmative, join her inside for cornbread, and ask her how dilated your pupils are.

"Of course it is. LSD-25 just binds to a few receptors. Jesus, didn't you pay attention in school?"
You go inside your old house. There's a baking dish full of fresh cornbread on top of the stove. You start eating some of the cornbread and ask how dilated your pupils are.
"I can't tell. They're too wavy."

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox Shovel (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻ ║ ◼ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

I'm disappointed that we don't have cornbread points.

considering the track record I don't think introducing the acronym "CP" is a good idea

Start shoveling corn bread into your face and politely ask to take a tour of the house.

"Huh? This is your house, not mine..."

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox Shovel (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻ ║ ◼ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

Still, a tour would be nice.

"Uh...okay, well, here's your kitchen. And this is your dining room, I guess? I mean you have a table next to the kitchen and we're eating at it, so I just assumed...never mind. Next to the kitchen, you have this closet." She opens the door to the closet with your washing machine and dryer in it. "Okay, I guess this is the closet where you keep your dragons." She closes the door and walks over to a different door. "And this next room is...your...bedroom. Wait a minute, are you hitting on me?"

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox Shovel (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻ ║ ◼ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

"If you want me to..."
*starts hitting her*

Well i would reconsider that move with Shovel in the hand...it might get gory :S

Catching the young woman off guard, you strike her in the head with the shovel, instantly knocking her unconscious. You hit her a few more times with the shovel while she lies bleeding on the floor.

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox Shovel (wielded) MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻ ║ ◼ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

Burn her body, just incase zombie apocalypse is a thing.

Take her stuff.

You don't have anything with which to start a fire. Deciding that you haven't made things easy enough for the police yet, you take all of the unconscious woman's possessions.

Code:: DP: ============================== 30/30 MP: ==================== 20/20 GP: =------------------- 1/20 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Silk trousers (???AC) (worn) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (100%) 3 scrolls of remove curse Four pieces of paper with '9' on them Mailbox Shovel (wielded) Blue and white T-shirt (???AC) Blue jeans (???AC) Brassiere of unspecified colour (???AC) Knickers (???AC) 47 blotters MAP ◻ ║ ◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻═◻ ║ ◻ ║ ◼ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund, Crazy Yiuf, Blork the orc, Grum, Maurice, Edmund, Grinder, Jessica, Eustachio, Menkaure, Purgy, Dowan's innocence, Prince Ribbit, Joseph, Pikel, Sonja, Nergalle

Use some PP points to spell out "We Я Legun" on the wall while we are being completely stupid and depraved here. Then search the area (including what we took from her) for clues and/or redemption.

Well, this has taken a turn for the ... um.

At least it looks like there aren't PP points in the dream.

The Tavern

4000 THANK QUEST

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