4000 THANK QUEST

Monday, 14th December 2015, 23:54 by ydeve

lets do k)

Monday, 14th December 2015, 23:55 by WalrusKing

k. Attempt to sell her the magazine

Monday, 14th December 2015, 23:56 by milski

d), then spare

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 00:01 by duvessa

You're carrying a lot of stuff, so you spend a few seconds digging through your pants trying to remember where you put the July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies". While doing so, you compliment Duvessa on her hair. Duvessa says, "Um, you realize I was joking, right? Please go literally anywhere else. Weirdo." She slams the door.
You finally find the July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" and slide it under the door. After a few seconds, the door opens again. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Duvessa draws her sword!

Code:: HP: =====------------- 5/18 PP: =========----- 9/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -6 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement (16) Bag of prune chips Sigmund's scythe (wielded) MAP ═◼ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◻ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Attack
b) Parry
c) Feint
d) Flirt
e) Accept offer
f) Use Acid Spit
g) Use key
h) Use Ijyb's pants
i) Use Terence's pants
j) Use wand of enslavement (16)
k) Use bag of prune chips
l) Use Sigmund's scythe

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 00:03 by WalrusKing

e)___

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 00:15 by duvessa

You try to accept Duvessa's offer to go literally anywhere else, but you can't leave the room during a combat encounter. As you try to explain this to her, she prepares to thrust her sword into your left lung, but then she realizes that you're covered in pee and she doesn't want to get any of it on her clean sword. Duvessa evokes her amulet of improved teleportation and disappears.
You enter Duvessa's bedroom. It contains a twin bed with pillows and sheets, a staircase leading down, a nightstand with a lamp on it, and a dresser.

Code:: HP: =====------------- 5/18 PP: =========----- 9/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -6 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement (16) Bag of prune chips Sigmund's scythe (wielded) MAP ◼═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◻ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Go down stairs
b) Go to specific room
c) Search room
d) Sleep on Duvessa's bed
e) Use key
f) Use bag of prune chips

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 00:17 by ydeve

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 00:18 by milski

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 01:14 by duvessa

You turn on the lamp and use the heat from the bulb to melt all of the prune chips together. You then lie on Duvessa's bed and enter the world of dreams...

Code:: HP: =====------------- 5/18 PP: =========----- 9/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -6 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement (16) Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) MAP ◼═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◻ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 01:14 by minmay

You find yourself in a room with a very high ceiling. There is a door leading east. Near the center of the room is a large tree. You can see Princess Zelda hiding in the tree, clutching a Settlers of Catan box. She looks worried.

Code:: DP: ================== 18/18 MP: ============== 14/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? Piece of toast Silk trousers (???AC) Plaid beret (worn) (???AC) Cargo shorts (???AC) Ordinary twig Nuclear bomb Empty money bag Water pistol (wielded) MAP ◼═ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

In dreams, there are no limits, and no rules to guide you. You may do anything you please.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 01:18 by milski

Begin playing webtiles.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 01:25 by triorph

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 01:29 by tedric

offer Zelda two bricks for a wheat

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 01:39 by minmay

You conjure a couple of bricks. (-2 MP) You offer them to Zelda. "Thanks, but I'm trying to watch my weight," she responds.

Code:: DP: ================== 18/18 MP: ============-- 12/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Piece of toast Silk trousers (???AC) Plaid beret (worn) (???AC) Cargo shorts (???AC) Ordinary twig Nuclear bomb Empty money bag Water pistol (wielded) Brick of Jarlsberg cheese Brick of bats MAP ◼═ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 01:49 by milski

Eat the brick of bats.

Release the brick of cheese to capture bugs.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 01:55 by minmay

You convert the brick of bats back into MP. (+1 MP) You deploy the brick of Jarlsberg cheese. It chirps excitedly and goes through the east door. Zelda nervously looks behind her shoulder.

Code:: DP: ================== 18/18 MP: =============- 13/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Piece of toast Silk trousers (???AC) Plaid beret (worn) (???AC) Cargo shorts (???AC) Ordinary twig Nuclear bomb Empty money bag Water pistol (wielded) MAP ◼═ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:05 by WingedEspeon

Play settlers of Catan with Zelda.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:09 by WalrusKing

Begin the screaming

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:12 by minmay

"That would be unsafe. They might come back. Besides, we don't have a third player." Zelda pauses for a moment. "Look, I really don't want to talk right now." She retreats further into the tree's canopy.

Code:: DP: ================== 18/18 MP: =============- 13/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Piece of toast Silk trousers (???AC) Plaid beret (worn) (???AC) Cargo shorts (???AC) Ordinary twig Nuclear bomb Empty money bag Water pistol (wielded) MAP ◼═ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:14 by archaeo

take the hint and exit through the door

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:15 by WalrusKing

Draw a second dollar sign on your bag, put items into it to make it a big bag with a dollar sign on it.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:22 by ydeve

conjure up 2 bags of holding, and put all your items in one bag (other than the other bag). Then take the bag with all the items and repeatedly place it into and take it out of the other bag.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:29 by minmay

The money bag already has 700 dollar signs on it, so you add a euro sign instead. You then put all your possessions into the bag, including the bag itself. You go through the east door to the next room. This room is very large, and the floor is covered in grass. There are several trees around, and a creek running through the middle. There are exits in all cardinal directions. You see your car parked under one of the trees.

Code:: DP: ================== 18/18 MP: =============- 13/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Piece of toast (in money bag) Silk trousers (???AC) (in money bag) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (in money bag) MAP ║ ◻═◼═ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:32 by ydeve

attempt to put on the plaid beret while it is still in the money bag.
go swimming

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:36 by minmay

You try to put on the beret while it's still in the money bag, but no matter how you approach the problem, you end up taking it out of the money bag, so you give up. You try to swim in the creek, but the water is only about ten centimetres deep, so that doesn't work very well either.

Code:: DP: ================== 18/18 MP: =============- 13/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Piece of toast (in money bag) Silk trousers (???AC) (in money bag) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (in money bag) MAP ║ ◻═◼═ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:38 by milski

Grow a bloodhound nose and follow the scent of the cheesebrick.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:53 by minmay

You don't need to waste MP on a better nose. The Jarlsberg is telepathically transmitting its location to your brain at all times. It is currently in the killer robot-infested playground that's just outside this room to the north. You go to the north. You find yourself outside in a large playground. It has all the usual fixtures of a playground, such as a jungle gym, monkey bars, slides, an anti-gravity field, and killer robots. To the east is an ordinary house. The Jarlsberg is nonchalantly hovering above the monkey bars.

Code:: DP: ================== 18/18 MP: =============- 13/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Piece of toast (in money bag) Silk trousers (???AC) (in money bag) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (in money bag) MAP ║ ═◼═ ║ ◻═◻═ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 02:56 by archaeo

ask the killer robots if they understand physics sufficiently to untangle our money bag

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 03:03 by minmay

A Class 1 Driller flies out from behind a seesaw, screeches horribly, and points its gun at you! It doesn't seem interested in answering questions.

Code:: DP: ================== 18/18 MP: =============- 13/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Piece of toast (in money bag) Silk trousers (???AC) (in money bag) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (in money bag) MAP ║ ═◼═ ║ ◻═◻═ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 03:11 by WingedEspeon

Conjure up some scrolls of remove curse, wake up while keeping the scrolls of remove curse, read scroll of remove curse, take off helmet.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 03:13 by milski

Ask the robots if the set of all sets that do not contain themselves contains itself.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 04:14 by minmay

You conjure three scrolls of remove curse. (-1 MP) You ask the Class 1 Driller a question with an obvious answer. It responds by perforating your kidneys with bullets. (-10 DP) The only language Class 1 drillers speak is pain. You decide to wake up.

Code:: DP: ========---------- 8/18 MP: ============-- 12/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: ??? THANKS COLLECTED: 1 Piece of toast (in money bag) Silk trousers (???AC) (in money bag) Plaid beret (???AC) (in money bag) Cargo shorts (???AC) (in money bag) Ordinary twig (in money bag) Nuclear bomb (in money bag) Money bag (in money bag) Water pistol (in money bag) 3 scrolls of remove curse MAP ║ ═◼═ ║ ◻═◻═ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 04:16 by ydeve

did we wake up? squirt water at the killer robot.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 04:16 by duvessa

You wake up. Your HP is restored. You appear to have turned the empty prune chip bag inside-out in your sleep.

Code:: HP: ================== 18/18 PP: =========----- 9/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -6 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement (16) Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) MAP ◼═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◻ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Go down stairs
b) Go to specific room
c) Search room
d) Sleep on Duvessa's bed
e) Use key

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 04:48 by milski

I just know this is going to end poorly.

C).

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 05:28 by duvessa

You search the room for stuff to take. You find your July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" and take it. The dresser is glued to the floor, so you open the drawers. Unfortunately, the drawers are empty. Duvessa's amulet of improved teleportation must have teleported all her clothes and stuff, too. Too bad, your underwear collection feels really incomplete without any knickers. Suddenly, you realize that you forgot to add Sigmund's robe to your inventory when you picked it up a couple pages ago, so you do that.
The nightstand is glued to the floor, and the lamp is glued to the nightstand. The light bulb isn't glued to the lamp, so you unscrew and take it. You try to take the pillows and sheets off the bed, but they're all glued to the bed, and the bed is glued to the floor. The pillowcases are also glued to the pillows. You do find a few strands of blue hair, though.

Code:: HP: ================== 18/18 PP: =========----- 9/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -6 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement (16) July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) Sigmund's robe (2AC) Light bulb Duvessa's hair MAP ◼═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◻ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Go down stairs
b) Go to specific room
c) Search room
d) Sleep on Duvessa's bed
e) Use key
f) Combine wand of enslavement (16) with Duvessa's hair

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 05:30 by milski

F) can only end well.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 05:32 by duvessa

You tie the strands of Duvessa's hair around the wand of enslavement to make a cute little bow.

Code:: HP: ================== 18/18 PP: =========----- 9/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -6 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement with hair bow (16) July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) Sigmund's robe (2AC) Light bulb MAP ◼═◻ ║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◻ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Go down stairs
b) Go to specific room
c) Search room
d) Sleep on Duvessa's bed
e) Use key

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 05:35 by milski

B) Go to that room we haven't gone yet.

Also maybe use the prune chip cluster to mark where we are?

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 05:53 by duvessa

You smear prune chip grease on your MAP, trying to mark Duvessa's bedroom. Unfortunately, due to the MAP's poor resolution, it's not much of an improvement. You decide to go to the room that Sigmund was guarding. On the way, you notice that the disgusting burnt soap smell in the microwave room has finally dissipated enough for you to stay in that room without puking. As you walk by, you notice that the fox is in the room, too. It's wearing a gas mask and appears to be stuffing a live turkey into the microwave oven.
You arrive in the room Sigmund was guarding. The center of the room is occupied by a fountain that depicts a male bear standing upright and urinating into the basin. It is extremely tacky. Someone has scribbled "INFINITE HEALING FOUNTAIN" on the bear's buttocks. The room is otherwise empty.

Code:: HP: ================== 18/18 PP: =========----- 9/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -6 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement with hair bow (16) July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) Sigmund's robe (2AC) Light bulb MAP ░░░ ▒▓═◻ ▒░║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◻ ◼ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Go through south door
b) Go to specific room
c) Drink from fountain
d) Use July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies"

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 05:59 by ydeve

c). also wear sigmund's robe

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 06:10 by duvessa

You drink from the fountain. HP and PP fully restored. You put on Sigmund's robe.

Code:: HP: ================== 18/18 PP: ============== 14/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -4 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement with hair bow (16) July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) Sigmund's robe (worn) (2AC) Light bulb MAP ░░░ ▒▓═◻ ▒░║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◻ ◼ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Go through south door
b) Go to specific room
c) Drink from fountain
d) Use July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies"

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 06:17 by milski

Go to the room with the fox and the turkey.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 06:22 by duvessa

You return to the microwave room. The fox seems to have managed to fit the turkey in the microwave oven and start it. It begins cleaning its paws with a partially melted bar of soap.

Code:: HP: ================== 18/18 PP: ============== 14/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -4 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement with hair bow (16) July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) Sigmund's robe (worn) (2AC) Light bulb MAP ░░░ ▒▓═◻ ▒░║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◼ ◻ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Go to specific room
b) Microwave key
c) Microwave Ijyb's pants
d) Microwave the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC)
e) Microwave Terence's pants
f) Microwave wand of enslavement with hair bow (16)
g) Microwave July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies"
h) Microwave prune chip cluster
i) Microwave empty prune chip bag
j) Microwave Sigmund's scythe
k) Microwave Sigmund's robe
l) Microwave light bulb
m) Politely wait until fox finishes using the microwave

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 06:27 by WingedEspeon

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 06:34 by duvessa

You start waiting. The fox is waiting too. After a few minutes, the fox decides this is taking too long, so it opens the microwave oven door and pulls the turkey out. It walks out of the room to the north. A few seconds later, you hear the sounds of a fox messily eviscerating a turkey.

Code:: HP: ================== 18/18 PP: ============== 14/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -4 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement with hair bow (16) July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) Sigmund's robe (worn) (2AC) Light bulb MAP ░░░ ▒▓═◻ ▒░║ ◻═◻═◻ ║ ║ ◼ ◻ ◻ ║ ║ ║ ◻═◻ ◻ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Go to specific room
b) Microwave key
c) Microwave Ijyb's pants
d) Microwave the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC)
e) Microwave Terence's pants
f) Microwave wand of enslavement with hair bow (16)
g) Microwave July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies"
h) Microwave prune chip cluster
i) Microwave empty prune chip bag
j) Microwave Sigmund's scythe
k) Microwave Sigmund's robe
l) Microwave light bulb
m) Politely wait until fox finishes eviscerating turkey in the other room

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 06:45 by WingedEspeon

go to room with stairs and go downstairs.

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 06:58 by duvessa

You go down the stairs. You find yourself in a basement. There's a door out to the south. There's a filthy refrigerator in the corner. Crazy Yiuf jumps out from behind the refrigerator and attacks! He smells like piss and terrible alcohol.

Code:: HP: ================== 18/18 PP: ============== 14/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -4 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement with hair bow (16) July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) Sigmund's robe (worn) (2AC) Light bulb MAP ◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Attack
b) Parry
c) Feint
d) Flirt
e) Use Acid Spit
f) Use key
g) Use Ijyb's pants
h) Use Terence's pants
i) Use wand of enslavement with hair bow (16)
j) Use July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies"
k) Use prune chip cluster
l) Use empty prune chip bag
m) Use light bulb

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 07:08 by WingedEspeon

m). I like throwing

Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 07:20 by duvessa

You screw the light bulb into Crazy Yiuf's left ear. It lights up. Crazy Yiuf swings his quarterstaff of chaos and hits you in the left pinky finger. (-7 HP) The quarterstaff of chaos turns into a brick of Jarlsberg cheese.

Code:: HP: ===========------- 11/18 PP: ============== 14/14 GP: =========----- 9/14 AC: -4 Key Ijyb's pants (1AC) the cursed -7 helmet of Okawaru's Regard {Stlth-} (worn) (-6AC) Terence's pants (1AC) Wand of enslavement with hair bow (16) July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies" Prune chip cluster Empty prune chip bag Sigmund's scythe (wielded) Sigmund's robe (worn) (2AC) MAP ◼ ║ Defeated: Ijyb, Robin, 12 other goblins, Terence, Sigmund

a) Attack
b) Parry
c) Feint
d) Flirt
e) Use Acid Spit
f) Use key
g) Use Ijyb's pants
h) Use Terence's pants
i) Use wand of enslavement with hair bow (16)
j) Use July 2011 issue of "Hot Fairies"
k) Use prune chip cluster
l) Use empty prune chip bag