Crawl hits real life

[Stormfox]

So my wife was helping her grandfather input his portfolio into a stock watcher app on his brand new iPad recently, and as she was reading off ticker symbols, one caught my ear:

XOM.

Exxon Mobil.

That explains a lot. (Just what, I'm leaving up to the reader...this isn't intended to be a political statement.)

[Grimm]

Xom finds this hilarious!

[Confidence Interval]

Sell TSO, buy ZIN!

And put a hold on Ashenzari!

(A hold - because he's shackled! Geddit?!)

[Grimm]

rimshot.wav

[Zuboki]

Someone was on the phone in the break room where I work, taking down a model number for an order. It began H-A-C-R and within seconds I thought "Halfling Crusader!" Then I just felt sad.

[Confidence Interval]

Sad because he wasn't taking an order for a Halfling Crusader? Or sad because a Halfling Crusader was a bad choice for that situation?

[Stormfox]

Seen last night on Jeopardy, a category called "27 is Heaven". (All clues relating to the number 27.)

Mayhap one of the writers plays Crawl?

[Grimm]

I'm working on a building refurbishment. The other day there was an issue with an electrical outlet. It was badly wired (old building) and the word went out to be careful around it as one could get shocked.

I thought to myself: I should find a source of rElec.

[Confidence Interval]

I'm working on a building refurbishment. The other day there was an issue with an electrical outlet. It was badly wired (old building) and the word went out to be careful around it as one could get shocked.

I thought to myself: I should find a source of rElec.

Once you start thinking like this you're on a slippery slope. Taking that hot lasagne out of the oven? I'm all prepared:

+0 pair of gloves of fire resistance (worn)

[Grimm]

Aspirin out of date? I'VE GOT MY rPOIS!

[Confidence Interval]

Aspirin out of date? I'VE GOT MY rPOIS!

Burning building? No rF+? Jump out the window and thank Trog for that amulet of controlled flight!

[Grimm]

Getting mugged? BOOTS OF RUNNING

[Confidence Interval]

Getting mugged? BOOTS OF RUNNING

No no no. Getting mugged? SWORD OF JIHAD!

[Grimm]

Tavern joke not appreciated? POST OF DRAINING

[Confidence Interval]

Need to liven up your party? Simply take a bottle of vodka in one hand and CAST EVAPORATE!

[galehar]

Need to liven up your party? Simply take a bottle of vodka in one hand and CAST EVAPORATE!

This on is less dangerous:

Alistair's intoxication

This spell works by converting a small portion of brain matter into alcohol,
confusing all intelligent humanoids within the caster's view (although
poison-resistant creatures will suffer no negative effects). It is strongly
focused on the caster, however, and so poison resistance will not protect them.
It is frequently used as an icebreaker at wizard parties.