The Tavern

While active, one always does average damage and AC, EV, and SH rolls are always exactly the average.

New spell: Odd Todd. He looks you on the eye uncomfortably long while eating boogers.

New spell: Steady Freddy. He takes what he was doing and keeps doing it.

New Spell: Oedipus Octopus. Yeah....

New Spell: Dead Fred. Instakills Frederick, players named Fred. No other effects.

I'm of course joking, but it'd be interesting to try out a game where it was possible to eliminate variance in this way and see how it'd play out.

I'm betting it would be pretty average...

It'd work pretty well until you got to very high defenses, at which point most things wouldn't be able to hurt you at all anymore. Especially if you applied this to EV, then if you have 20 EV and something would roll 18 to hit you, it suddenly never hits you at all?

Applying it to only armor would make a bit more sense, but then swarms of weaker things would become completely meaningless if they always hit for 0 damage, and you could use them as walls against dangerous monsters. Not that you can't do this already, it's just more safe when you take out the low chance of them still doing some damage.

I do think variance should be reduced, but you probably don't want to have completely fixed rolls.

New unique: Elven Stelven

Race me in Ghosts n' Goblins. Consider this a public challenge.

New monster: Steagle Colbeagle
Like a shard shrike, but casts Bolt of America dealing 3d30 irresistible AC-bypassing freedom damage.

What happened to goldeneye