There was a crawler, had a slime...

[njvack]

... and Jiyva was its name-a
J-I-Y-V-A
J-I-Y-V-A
J-I-Y-V-A
and Jiyva was its name-a

[ZipZipskins]

topic of the gosh damn century

[njvack]

just keeping it real

[ZipZipskins]

word up my homie, the realest. more crawl reskinned children's songs please. how about:

all around the one-square pillar
the ogre chased the crawler
the ogre gained an action through energy randomization
pop! goes the crawler

[Berder]

There was an old crawler who swallowed a slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a human
In hydra-form tasty when sprinkled with cumin
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a yak
Just gave it a smack! then swallowed the yak
She swallowed the yak to heal from the human
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a drake
It tasted like cake! she swallowed the drake
She swallowed the drake to heal from the yak
She swallowed the yak to heal from the human
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a vault guard
It wasn't hard! to swallow a guard
She swallowed the guard to heal from the drake
She swallowed the drake to heal from the yak
She swallowed the yak to heal from the human
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a troll
Just opened her hole and swallowed the troll
She swallowed the troll to heal from the guard
She swallowed the guard to heal from the drake
She swallowed the drake to heal from the yak
She swallowed the yak to heal from the human
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed Dispater
She's dead, of course.

[Siegurt]

There was an old crawler who swallowed a slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a human
In hydra-form tasty when sprinkled with cumin
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a yak
Just gave it a smack! then swallowed the yak
She swallowed the yak to heal from the human
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a drake
It tasted like cake! she swallowed the drake
She swallowed the drake to heal from the yak
She swallowed the yak to heal from the human
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a vault guard
It wasn't hard! to swallow a guard
She swallowed the guard to heal from the drake
She swallowed the drake to heal from the yak
She swallowed the yak to heal from the human
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed a troll
Just opened her hole and swallowed the troll
She swallowed the troll to heal from the guard
She swallowed the guard to heal from the drake
She swallowed the drake to heal from the yak
She swallowed the yak to heal from the human
She swallowed the human to heal from the slime
I don't know why she swallowed the slime
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old crawler who swallowed Dispater
She's dead, of course.

This might be the best argument for food reform I have seen to date.

[njvack]

The slime/die slant rhyme and the last couplet are honestly really great.

[wheals]

This might be the best argument for food reform I have seen to date.

Or possibly, the best argument against using Hydra Form.

[ZipZipskins]

... and Jiyva was its name-a
J-I-Y-V-A
J-I-Y-V-A
J-I-Y-V-A
and Jiyva was its name-a

I just realised that the "a" at the end of "name-a" is a long a, so it sounds like a Canadian is singing it

[bel]

The slime/die slant rhyme and the last couplet are honestly really great.

The poem's structure was based on this, if you didn't know: http://www.poppyfields.net/poppy/songs/oldwoman.html

[xentronium]

Tab, Tab, Tab, o, Tab,
That's the way to play,
Mindlessly Mindless Mindlessly,
Tab your life away.

[Greyr]

OH NO! The fight's out
I'ma 'bout to punch yo...lights out
Get the FUCK back, guard ya grill
There's somethin' wrong, we can't stay still
I've been drankin' and bustin' two
and I been thankin' of bustin' you
Upside ya motherfuckin' forehead
And if your friends jump in, "Ohhh gurrlll", they'll be mo' dead
Causin' confusion (like the spell), Disturbin Tha Peace
It's not an Mara's illusion, we runnin the streets
So bye-bye to all you groupies and golddiggers
Is there a bumper on your ass? NO CRAWLER!
I'm doin' a hundred on the highway
So if you do the speed limit, get the FUCK outta my way
I'm D.U.I., hardly ever caught sober
and you about to get ran the FUCK over

[njvack]

The poem's structure was based on this, if you didn't know: http://www.poppyfields.net/poppy/songs/oldwoman.html

Well yes, but 'fly' and 'die' are perfect rhymes, as are 'horse' and 'course'. I like that Berder subverts that.

[bel]

I am just waiting to see if someone here can match the art of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings.