The Tavern

Someone said something about dire eles and I realized he missed a letter.

Dire Elf (e) | Spd: 10 | HD: 20 | HP: 81-138 | AC/EV: 10/2 | Dam: 40(trample), 15 | weapons, items, doors, fighter, spellcaster | Res: magic(80) | XP: 1789 | Sp: dazzling spray (3d24), conjure flame, invisibility, swiftness, berserk / stone arrow (3d36), mystic blast (3d32), haste, s.golubria, berserk / throw icicle (3d40), haste, invisibility, condensation shield, berserk | Sz: Giant | Int: human.

Basically it's an elephant-sized deep elf knight with beefed up everything and trample damage. Also berserk. The AI should make it go berserk like 10 rounds after spotting you, after it casts some spells.

i had a dream one time that i was living with a bunch of elves in a forest and an evil wizard guy showed up and was going to kill us with his magic so we all ran away together and we came to a really steep, really long slope downwards in the forest and we all did a synchronized running jump off the top of the slope. earlier we had hung a huge net between a couple of trees on the slope, for some reason, and we had forgotten about it, so we all landed in the net, which broke off from the trees, and the net naturally shaped itself into a ball around us as we landed, so then we were just a giant ball of elves rolling down a hill faster and faster, until eventually we rolled off a cliff and fell several hundred meters, but we landed in more trees, so it was ok. (elves can never be hurt by falling into trees) the evil wizard guy was still chasing us though, i forget what we did after that.

There should be different versions of everything that randomly show up

Dire makes them have more HD and and trample
Vampiric gives them the vampire set of abilities (vampiric melee, invisibility, confuse) and makes them undead
Sorcerous gives them a random spellbook based on HD

and of course they should stack if more than one appears on the same monster

yeah yeah yeah and they could get a new colour and drop more loot yeah

a dire vampiric sorcerous deep elf sorcerer comes into view

It is wielding a giant purple dildo.