cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie


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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 02:48

cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Here are all the gods, match up who you want to (non-)actors you know!

A - Ashenzari:
B - Beogh:
C - Cheibriados:
D - Dithmenos:
E - Elyvilon:
F - Fedhas:
G - Gozag:
J - Jiyva:
K - Kikubaaqudgha:
L - Lugonu:
M - Makhleb:
N - Nemelex Xobeh:
O - Okawaru:
Q - Qazlal:
R - Ru:
S - Sif Muna:
T - Trog:
V - Vehumet:
X - Xom:
Y - Yredelemnul:
Z - Zin:
1 - the Shining One:
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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 02:50

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Like this, here are my picks for now
Pollen_Golem wrote:Here are all the gods, match up who you want to (non-)actors you know!

A - Ashenzari: Jesse Eisenberg
B - Beogh: Gary Oldman
C - Cheibriados: Anthony Hopkins
D - Dithmenos: Djimon Hounsou
E - Elyvilon: Patrick Stewart
F - Fedhas: Judy Garland
G - Gozag: Michael Douglas
J - Jiyva: Orson Welles
K - Kikubaaqudgha: Ben Kingsley
L - Lugonu: Kathy Bates
M - Makhleb: Michael Jackson
N - Nemelex Xobeh: Jim Broadbent
O - Okawaru: Christian Bale
Q - Qazlal: Brian Blessed
R - Ru: Laurence Fishburne
S - Sif Muna: Benedict Cumberbatch
T - Trog: Adam Sandler
V - Vehumet: Dwayne Johnson
X - Xom: Tom Green
Y - Yredelemnul: Ian McKellen
Z - Zin: Charlton Heston
1 - the Shining One: Mel Gibson

Sar

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 02:57

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

only 2 women? how problematic
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Slime Squisher

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 06:25

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

You really pulled these names out of the hat PG, right?

Suggesting late Michael Jackson portraying Makhleb is outright hilarious. Only one I could agree on some level is Tom Green playing Xom and that's only because I (and most other people) hate them both.

Fun brainstorming, though.
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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 06:57

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

PG i god damn demand you explain what made you choose every single one of these because i am baffled by your choices
take it easy

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 07:41

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

A - Ashenzari: Ron Jeremy
B - Beogh: Ron Jeremy
C - Cheibriados: Ron Jeremy
D - Dithmenos: Ron Jeremy
E - Elyvilon: Ron Jeremy
F - Fedhas: Ron Jeremy
G - Gozag: Ron Jeremy
J - Jiyva: Ron Jeremy
K - Kikubaaqudgha: Ron Jeremy
L - Lugonu: Ron Jeremy
M - Makhleb: Ron Jeremy
N - Nemelex Xobeh: Ron Jeremy
O - Okawaru: Ron Jeremy
Q - Qazlal: Ron Jeremy
R - Ru: Ron Jeremy
S - Sif Muna: Olivia Wilde
T - Trog: Ron Jeremy
V - Vehumet: Ron Jeremy
X - Xom: Ron Jeremy
Y - Yredelemnul: Ron Jeremy
Z - Zin: Ron Jeremy
1 - the Shining One: Ron Jeremy

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 07:48

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

I fucking hate Ron Jeremy's smug...wait I'm thinking of someone else. Ron Swanson; I hate Ron Swanson...and Nick Offerman, who plays him.
I'm beginning to feel like a Cat God! Felid streaks: {FeVM^Sif Muna, FeWn^Dithmenos, FeAr^Pakellas}, {FeEE^Ashenzari, FeEn^Gozag, FeNe^Sif Muna, FeAE^Vehumet...(ongoing)}
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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 09:06

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

A - Ashenzari: Dustin Hoffman
B - Beogh: Peter Dinklage
C - Cheibriados: Marlon Brando
D - Dithmenos: Cate Blanchett
E - Elyvilon: Liv Tyler
F - Fedhas: Meryl Streep
G - Gozag: Michael Clarke Duncan
J - Jiyva: Philip Seymour Hoffman
K - Kikubaaqudgha: Edward Norton
L - Lugonu: Milla Jovovich
M - Makhleb: Jack Nicholson
N - Nemelex Xobeh: Brad Pitt
O - Okawaru: Jason Statham
Q - Qazlal: Halle Berry
R - Ru: Helena Bonham Carter
S - Sif Muna: Ian McKellen
T - Trog: Arnold Schwarzenegger
V - Vehumet: Christopher Lee
X - Xom: Jim Carrey
Y - Yredelemnul: Daniel Craig
Z - Zin: John Malkovich
1 - the Shining One: Sean Connery

Some of them have to be raised from the dead, though.
DCSS: 97:...MfCj}SpNeBaEEGrFE{HaAKTrCK}DsFESpHu{FoArNaBe}
FeEE{HOIEMiAE}GrGlHuWrGnWrNaAKBaFi{MiDeMfDe}{DrAKTrAMGhEnGnWz}
{PaBeDjFi}OgAKPaCAGnCjOgCKMfAEAtCKSpCjDEEE{HOSu
Bloat: 17: RaRoPrPh{GuStGnCa}{ArEtZoNb}KiPaAnDrBXDBQOApDaMeAGBiOCNKAsFnFlUs{RoBoNeWi

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 09:50

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Okay, that was fun. Let's try US Senators!
Dungeon Crawling Advice tl;dr: Protect ya neck.

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 11:49

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

mps wrote:Okay, that was fun. Let's try US Senators!

Sorry, I don't even know any of them, let alone how good actors they are.
DCSS: 97:...MfCj}SpNeBaEEGrFE{HaAKTrCK}DsFESpHu{FoArNaBe}
FeEE{HOIEMiAE}GrGlHuWrGnWrNaAKBaFi{MiDeMfDe}{DrAKTrAMGhEnGnWz}
{PaBeDjFi}OgAKPaCAGnCjOgCKMfAEAtCKSpCjDEEE{HOSu
Bloat: 17: RaRoPrPh{GuStGnCa}{ArEtZoNb}KiPaAnDrBXDBQOApDaMeAGBiOCNKAsFnFlUs{RoBoNeWi
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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 16:53

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Sar wrote:only 2 women? how problematic

Hey, I tried. But duvessa's beat me to the punch, as you can see.
Sphara wrote:You really pulled these names out of the hat PG, right?

Oh yeah? Let's see you do better!
Sprucery wrote: R - Ru: Helena Bonham Carter
T - Trog: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Z - Zin: John Malkovich

Now those don't even make any sense! I can kind-of see the rest, though.
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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 18:09

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

HONESTLY! I thought you were trolling again, trying the get more and more hits at your post and get people commenting your choices as they were insane. So I fell into that. You got me.

But if you are serious, I'm serious about one thing: You have no idea what certain actors/actresses strengths are. I'm even questioning if you have seen anything other than youtube clips.

This only IF you we're not trolling.

Edit: and by the way, if you're broadcasting your opinions as a troll, you are an idiot.

Sar

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 19:44

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

tbh I think having benzedrine cucumberpatch play sif was a stroke of genius
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Barkeep

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 22:47

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

how does it not make sense for Arnold Schwarzenegger to play Trog

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Post Thursday, 16th July 2015, 22:51

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

I think PG's choice of Brian Blessed for Qaz is good.

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Post Friday, 17th July 2015, 00:36

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Sar wrote:only 2 women? how problematic


That's twice as many important female characters as lord of the rings has! I'm counting Arwen, by the way - Galadriel is borderline important I guess, but I don't think she is really around long enough to count. Maybe 1.5 female characters? Dunno. Lots of dudes though.

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Post Friday, 17th July 2015, 00:57

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Eowyn? Also, you forgot Shelob! Rude!

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Post Friday, 17th July 2015, 00:58

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

I know, I know, shelob is technically female, but come on, it had zero lines! Also, fun fact I just learned while looking over the character list, "Shelob" literally means "She-spider". A very creative name ;)

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Post Friday, 17th July 2015, 01:06

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

eowyn and galadriel don't really do much beyond saying "im a girl" and "cool ring, take this glass junk" respectively

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Post Friday, 17th July 2015, 01:11

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

she slew the second most powerful antagonist in the LotR saga and the strongest entity to die on the field of battle (Sauron just kind of fells apart when the ring is destroyed)

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Post Friday, 17th July 2015, 19:45

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Sar wrote:she slew the second most powerful antagonist in the LotR saga and the strongest entity to die on the field of battle (Sauron just kind of fells apart when the ring is destroyed)


Balrog and Gandalf and Saruman were all more powerful than the Witch King, and all died in combat.
Spoiler: show
(Gandalf got better)

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Post Friday, 17th July 2015, 21:37

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Well Gandalf wasn't antagonist and I guess I forgot Durin's Bane because I always thought of him more as an obstacle (did he even serve Sauron at that time?) but yeah. Saruman... well, he was backstabbed, sure.

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Post Saturday, 18th July 2015, 01:47

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Arguably Shelob is more powerful than Saruman and Gandalf as she's half Maia and half fucking Ungoliant.*

*this information comes straight from the dorks at the Lord of the Rings wiki and I promise you I had no prior knowledge of this before deciding to enter into this nerd-fray
take it easy

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Post Saturday, 18th July 2015, 02:12

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Shelob isn't a confirmed kill.

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Post Saturday, 18th July 2015, 04:16

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

According to official Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks, female elves are able to consciously choose, with perfect control, whether or not they get pregnant from any individual sexual encounter, including those with dragons

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Post Saturday, 18th July 2015, 04:23

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

But can they choose the sex of their child, like Bene Gesserit?

The dragons part is funny but IIRC DnD dragons have an ability to shapeshift into humans/humanoids.

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Post Saturday, 18th July 2015, 05:46

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

man I don't know, I just remember that because I read it somewhere on the internet and it stuck in my mind because what could possibly be more neckbeardy than describing imaginary elf sex in terms of tabletop game rules
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Post Thursday, 30th July 2015, 03:26

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Arrhythmia wrote:PG i god damn demand you explain what made you choose every single one of these because i am baffled by your choices

Ar i fully submit to your god damn demand.

A - Ashenzari: Jesse Eisenberg, like the condescending nerd who breaks down complicated stuff for you (skill boosts) and figures out everything (magic mapping, ID, monster locations) as long as you don't mess around, breaking his concentration (unswappable equipment). Unable to get out of his own head (he is bound, and you must be bound along with him).
B - Beogh: Gary Oldman, great at overacting as Beogh seems to do, and plays powerful but incompetent leaders well - can you not hear him say, "Recall everyone."??
C - Cheibriados: Anthony Hopkins, plays calm and self-assured due to augmented abilities, unswayed by the turmoil around him, in film after film.
D - Dithmenos: Djimon Hounsou, self-explanatory.
E - Elyvilon: Patrick Stewart, plays characters who are greatly benevolent and competent. I've had a doctor who looks a bit like him.
F - Fedhas: Judy Garland, ok you got me here, I'm blowing smoke out my ass.
G - Gozag: Michael Douglas, very professional, strictly business, never loses his posture. Sure, that's not his only aspect, but same goes for Gozag - he may have any kind of private life. No need to imbue Gozag with uncontrollable greed.
J - Jiyva: Orson Welles, at least in his later days, creates the unmistakable impression of laziness and gluttony and not-giving-a-crap, all the while capable of great things. At least never has trouble expressing appreciation for the little pleasures of life. He even ate planets in some cartoon once.
K - Kikubaaqudgha: Ben Kingsley, just look at the guy! Plays good serious evil, even if the film is goofy (stupid players), and Kiku doesn't mess around.
L - Lugonu: Kathy Bates, takes authoritative roles, including the classic chaotic controlling madwoman in Misery. Milla Jovovich tends to be too hapless to really control or disrupt anything beyond herself.
M - Makhleb: Michael Jackson, keeps up the energy during taxing music and dance routines (healing mid combat so you don't need to rest), is a fan of sudden jerky moves (destructions), has lots of backup dancers (servants) that sometimes stand/dance in front of him rather than behind (chance of spawning hostile), is evil (one of the evil gods).
N - Nemelex Xobeh: Jim Broadbent, a kindly old man who trades powerful magics he doesn't care about anymore, in exchange for taking him sight-seeing. Gets a little weary every time you ask him to arrange that crap. Brad Pitt better suits Old Nemelex, who appreciated nice items, and kept an eye on you, and wanted to see you have fun and live a little, and ensured you took life-altering risk.
O - Okawaru: Christian Bale, good at playing solemn warriors focused on gadgets, skill and speed (weapons and armor, heroism and finesse) over brute power (Trog) although I acknowledge some asian gentleman might be better.
Q - Qazlal: Brian Blessed, because it's BRIAN BLESSED!
R - Ru: Laurence Fishburne, Mr. Morpheus himself is going to reveal to you the great annihilating truth. Can jump across big gaps.
S - Sif Muna: Benedict Cumberbatch, gives you all the tools you need, when you're ready (book gifts), expects you to figure out stuff for yourself but points out mistakes before you make a fool of yourself (miscast protection), is happy to see you become better at intellectual endeavors (piety for studying).
T - Trog: Adam Sandler, this one's easy: this creator and purveyor of thought-suppressing tripe (anti-magic) frequently berserks on film (berserk) and has his merry band of bad fellow actors (brothers in arms). See, Schwarzenegger doesn't fit because he doesn't actively hate magic or its equivalent. He also keeps his head and tends to fight alone. The only things that fit Schwarzenegger are shirtlessness (weapon gifts, but not armor) and action-hero resilience (Trog's hand).
V - Vehumet: Dwayne Johnson, (piety on kills), gives you access to special moves (spells), is big and can reach quite far (range), energizes upon victory (MP gain on kills), won't be disappointed in you unless you become neglectful (only time decays piety).
X - Xom: Tom Green, who is easily amused by randomness. In your face all the time. Just fucks around and giggles. Even if he makes you chuckle, it's not because he's good at being funny. A favorite joke is pretending to help you by giving you a shitty gift.
Y - Yredelemnul: Ian McKellen, plays two great ancient leaders/summoners that also have great abilities of their own (allies and mirror/drain respectively).
Z - Zin: Charlton Heston, completely embodies the archetypal authority figure, the ultimate proselytizer of right and wrong. Absolutely bristles with moral fiber. Is yet to be surpassed by any actor in this regard.
1 - the Shining One: Mel Gibson, good at playing a madly committed crusader, which is what TSO is, let's face it.

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Post Thursday, 30th July 2015, 04:38

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Holy shit, thanks.
take it easy

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Post Thursday, 30th July 2015, 16:09

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Ru Adolf Hitler. Because if you worship him, you are hated by everyone.

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Post Thursday, 30th July 2015, 17:06

Re: cast Hollywood actors as Crawl gods, for DCSS movie

Adolf was an artist, not an actor.

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