Little Bit About Me


If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it belongs here. Also, come here if you just need to get hammered.

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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 01:45

Little Bit About Me

Like for realz. Bcadren is my internet nickname almost everywhere. The 'full version' is Bcadren Zcoll Hyrtoy and is basically just a weird name I made up for myself back in High School. Another common nickname for me is Lucien Michael Fatima or Luc for short. I almost never use my real (read: legal) name outside of legal documents. I am actually trained as a game developer and quite capable. Here are a couple links from LD28 (competition/challenge to make a game in 48 hours).

Timelapse of Production
Walkthrough
Game

Warning, it's buggy; because I made it in 48 hours, then never updated it.

I've lost my way for quite awhile; not really the first time this has happened. After I walked in graduation last year (needed 3 credits to actual finish; which was internship credit); I went back home with parents; because I didn't really have anywhere else to go and...I've been pretty heavily afflicted with cabin fever. Don't feel like working, feel like talking to people or having social interaction, but there's none to be had. (Had the same problem every single summer growing up; hazard of being in the middle of nowhere. Makes me hate the fact that schools have summer breaks at all. Hell high school me would have been happier at a boarding school than he/I was back then in small town with parents. Though, I never would have majored in game design if I hadn't gone months of the year every year with no social contact and constantly playing games to keep from going insane. Hell, I'll follow that by saying I came out of the closet at 14 and middle of nowhere town wasn't that accepting. I'd done it -because I was lonely- and -because I thought maybe if I was honest about it I'd find someone. Never happened. Bulk of negative reinforcement from schoolmates gave me anger and drive to be salutatorian (and graduate a year early at 17).

First semester of college; I lost 110 pounds out of...actually having a social life and actually being out in the world. Being back with parents; has honestly caused a regression; though I'm not obese again, thankfully. (Mostly, because though I'm back to living like my parents; I don't EAT like them anymore, being vegetarian and selecting all my own food.) I was supposed to be working on a major game release to try to make a break out. Make enough money to get out of here; do enough work for myself to count as the internship. In practice; I'm too much of an extrovert to ever be happy working alone without in person contact and wind up; trying to talk to people online just to simulate actual contact with the public. I'm stagnating again; neither happy, nor sad; just completely out of myself. Have been for awhile. 23 now and haven't finished college (Barely, because of that internship requirement I haven't fulfilled in a year). Not sure what I hope to accomplish by sharing (some) of myself; but this is the place I'd been stuck talking to, while the real world doesn't exist; so thought you might like to know.

I have ideas and ambition for the real world; it just hasn't been actually manifesting in a long while.
I'm beginning to feel like a Cat God! Felid streaks: {FeVM^Sif Muna, FeWn^Dithmenos, FeAr^Pakellas}, {FeEE^Ashenzari, FeEn^Gozag, FeNe^Sif Muna, FeAE^Vehumet...(ongoing)}

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Sandman25
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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 01:57

Re: Little Bit About Me

OP you should come hang out in tileschat; we think you're fun and cool.
take it easy

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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 01:59

Re: Little Bit About Me

I didn't ignore you in IRC and you still said people were ignoring you. You totally ignored me. Come hang out with me or I'll feel bad.

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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 02:03

Re: Little Bit About Me

That was pretty bluntly honest. I appreciate that. And considering some of the flack I've seen you get, pretty courageous. Not that Crawl Peeps are brutal or anything... But just the general nature of the internet, this kind of sharing is pretty risky.

I can only empathize with much of your plight. We are pretty opposite in many small ways [I am more neutral with social needs (near 0 score in the intro/extro portion of the Briggs-Meyers), never went to college, grew up in the CITY (NYC) which I guess could be overwhelming if I was any more introverted, probably quite a bit older, started out rail thin and slowly gained weight as I aged. Now uncomfortably overweight but hey that's from sitting on my fat arse most of the time. :p] Except for that feeling sometimes of being lost/stuck. As an artist, writer and musician I have found myself outside of the norm for most of my life. There are no guide posts for the creative. No manuals or tutorials that help where it matters.There is only the box and outside of it. And it gets pretty lonely and scary outside of it. Even when you think someone sees things your way there is no guarantee that this is actually true.

I posit that if you really are stagnating then you are actually unhappy. The nature of humanity is such that we are never really happy doing nothing (though we may feel comfortable and or safe) or feeling futile, under-appreciated and or unsatisfied. I recommend doing something to change your state. Find inspiration and take a piece of your dream and go for it. Leave the safety of the internet and go take some real risks in the real world. I bet you will be a lot happier then. Sorry if that comes off as too much of a lecture, I am a bit older than some, so I get in "teacher-mode" when I see an apparent need.

Anyway, nice to meet you.
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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 02:12

Re: Little Bit About Me

*rubs eyes* Reading after playing an hour with Dithmenos, just ouch.
Do you read books?

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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 02:28

Re: Little Bit About Me

Klown wrote:*rubs eyes* Reading after playing an hour with Dithmenos, just ouch.
Do you read books?
Not much anymore. I used to be addictive about it in high school. Read 'A Clockwork Orange' in 6 hours, once. And when the fourth Harry Potter Book came out? ...picked it up at midnight. Put it down at 3PM. I never read anything more than twice and usually read in one sitting. Do the same thing with longer video games. Shorter ones; I -repeatedly- run through until I'm good at speedrunning. And films...watch through them only once or twice, but I've seen...a ton. Metropolis (1927) is my favorite. Here's another of my videos for you; what happens when you've played through the same game a couple hundred times.
Duke3D speedrun in under 8 minutes
I'm beginning to feel like a Cat God! Felid streaks: {FeVM^Sif Muna, FeWn^Dithmenos, FeAr^Pakellas}, {FeEE^Ashenzari, FeEn^Gozag, FeNe^Sif Muna, FeAE^Vehumet...(ongoing)}

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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 03:15

Re: Little Bit About Me

bcadren wrote:I am actually trained as a game developer and quite capable.

Being able to program a game is not the same as being a capable developer, as demonstrated by basically every idea you suggest.

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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 03:21

Re: Little Bit About Me

Viashino_wizard wrote:
bcadren wrote:I am actually trained as a game developer and quite capable.

Being able to program a game is not the same as being a capable developer, as demonstrated by basically every idea you suggest.


Game developer is a profession, programming is called software development so those who program games are game developers.
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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 03:23

Re: Little Bit About Me

Sandman25 wrote:
Viashino_wizard wrote:
bcadren wrote:I am actually trained as a game developer and quite capable.

Being able to program a game is not the same as being a capable developer, as demonstrated by basically every idea you suggest.


Game developer is a profession, programming is called software development so those who program games are game developers.


Explain dpeg then.
take it easy
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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 03:45

Re: Little Bit About Me

Arrhythmia wrote:Explain dpeg then.

Actually 'developer' 'designer' and 'programmer' are different jobs.

Designers do market research about what would sell well and sketch out designs of what different target groups of the population should like. Only major companies that put sales over making a good game have them.
Developers are people that make levels; mostly. The crawl equivalent is vault designers. They do the relatively 'unskilled' work of making a game and have a skillset around making an existing game fun; though placing the write tutorials in the right order and making sure it's never too hard or too easy. They also run beta testing.
Programmers....there are so many kinds of programmers it's not funny. Physics programmers; engines programmers; scripters; technical artists. Tech art is actually one of my favorite ones; they are the people that program how the game shows the art. Some personal examples, are I made a game shader that filters everything down to Red, Blue, Green and Black; letting nothing else through. More common things that come from Tech artists are how light diffuses in water; or how fog shows up, the proper crackling of a fire. Crawl has no real use for a Tech Artist; but it's one of my specialties. Physics programmers; I've done some of this. I have a penchant for 'remaking gravity' in all my games where physics matters. I've never started from scratch and i have respect for people that have; but I have stripped down and worked from just the 'apply force' function to do everything. Scripters make code specific to small sections of a game that's 'throw away code'; meaning it has no reusability anywhere else in the game or in any other game. There's a ton more high-level scripting than there is low level code and by-and-large Scripters and low-level coders HAVE NO IDEA what the other code type is doing.

...I can also go into the different types of 2D and 3D art jobs; though I'm actually trained in all parts of both processes and at a small company would just make the whole piece from scratch; larger ones have dedicated people that just...apply animations on the finished model someone else made, for example.
I'm beginning to feel like a Cat God! Felid streaks: {FeVM^Sif Muna, FeWn^Dithmenos, FeAr^Pakellas}, {FeEE^Ashenzari, FeEn^Gozag, FeNe^Sif Muna, FeAE^Vehumet...(ongoing)}
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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 11:22

Re: Little Bit About Me

I feel dirty.
MuCK;
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612 | D:1      | Xom revived you
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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 12:30

Re: Little Bit About Me

TehDruid wrote:I feel dirty.

Seems off topic. How long since you had a bath?
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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 14:14

Re: Little Bit About Me

I suggest reading A Song of Ice and Fire(series).

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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 16:04

Re: Little Bit About Me

It's interesting to speak about the correlation between computer science and development capability.

I work for a large internet company who hires what are purported to be some of the best computer scientists in the world.

I've been a software engineer now for nearly twenty years, and have seen a LOT. We hire kids directly from IIT, MIT, Berkeley, Stanford, Harvard, Cambridge, etc with doctorates in Computer Science and EE, and other related fields. I have interviewed over one hundred of these people, and worked with an equal number.

One thing I realize is that their intelligence, and algorithmic prowess has little bearing on their success as a software developer. Being above to write a good API, or software application, or component doesn't take a high level of niche intelligence, but a more well-rounded holistic capability that isn't all that common. I'm not sure if that well-rounded je ne sais quois is something intrinsic, or learned, but few have it in spades.

Good software developers also need to be good designers. Most of the product managers you will work with in any field are inadequate. There are some good ones, but you need to be as good as they, if not better if you want to be a great software engineer. You are often the last line of defence for a feature; it's your job to make sure that what they are asking for really makes sense for the product. Then it's also your job to implement the feature in a way that's healthy for the codebase.

Most computer scientists seem to suck at this.

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Post Saturday, 10th May 2014, 19:09

Re: Little Bit About Me

Got a report on this thread, and I have to say I'm torn:

On the one hand, a number of people have responded positively to this thread, and I understand bcadren's desire to clear things up given what has happened recently.

On the other hand, I really don't want to encourage people to post the sort of threads in Tavern that would be more appropriate for personal blogs or a diary. CYC is and should be lax, but I'm worried that this sets a bad precedent even here. As anyone familiar with other Internet message boards/forums probably knows, allowing this sort of thing makes it easy for people to seek attention in bad ways or stir up unnecessary drama (as opposed to necessary drama, like arguing about demigods... you know the really important, life-or-death stuff). I am not saying bcadren is trying to do anything that sordid or unsavory in this thread, but letting this kind of thing fly can unfortunately lend itself to that form of abuse.

All in all, I will leave this thread open. But please exercise caution, restraint, and good sense when judging what kind of personal information you should divulge on the Internet, both in terms of what's appropriate for the forum, and what's appropriate for yourself in terms of personal privacy. [/PublicServiceAnnouncement]

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Post Monday, 12th May 2014, 09:00

Re: Little Bit About Me

Viashino_wizard wrote:
bcadren wrote:I am actually trained as a game developer and quite capable.

Being able to program a game is not the same as being a capable developer, as demonstrated by basically every idea you suggest.


Damn dude have a heart, this weirdo just told you his life story for some reason. And while his batting average may be low, he has some good and/or interesting ideas. I couldn't say the same thing for you.
"No one should have two lives / Now you know my middle names are wrong and right / But baby there's no guidance / When random rules"
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Post Monday, 12th May 2014, 09:26

Re: Little Bit About Me

scorpionwarrior wrote:
Viashino_wizard wrote:
bcadren wrote:I am actually trained as a game developer and quite capable.

Being able to program a game is not the same as being a capable developer, as demonstrated by basically every idea you suggest.


Damn dude have a heart, this weirdo just told you his life story for some reason. And while his batting average may be low, he has some good and/or interesting ideas. I couldn't say the same thing for you.

Maybe because I don't make a thread for every passing idea that occurs to me without putting any actual thought into it.

And if by "some" you mean "none." Unless we're counting ideas he got from someone else.

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Post Monday, 12th May 2014, 17:18

Re: Little Bit About Me

Viashino_wizard wrote:Maybe because I don't make a thread for every passing idea that occurs to me without putting any actual thought into it.


Good, now apply this philosophy making posts, and maybe you won't go around insulting people for no reason at all.

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Post Monday, 12th May 2014, 17:30

Re: Little Bit About Me

You don't just start making sanctimonious posts like that, it's right you have to earn.

e: hi arrhy how's your day going

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Post Monday, 12th May 2014, 20:24

Re: Little Bit About Me

damiac wrote:
Viashino_wizard wrote:Maybe because I don't make a thread for every passing idea that occurs to me without putting any actual thought into it.


Good, now apply this philosophy making posts, and maybe you won't go around insulting people for no reason at all.

There is never no reason to insult Bcadren.

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Post Monday, 12th May 2014, 21:35

Re: Little Bit About Me

There is never no reason to insult Bcadren.

It's low-hanging fruit. Surely you can do better.

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Post Monday, 12th May 2014, 22:41

Re: Little Bit About Me

Applying Crawl-logic: If it is always reasonable to do X, then X is a no-brainer and should be removed.

In all seriousness, though:

Please be civil. Saying that someone's proposal is bad in thread in which they've posted a new proposal is obviously fine (in GDD you should give a bit of the reasoning or whatever and try to be more constructive though). Bringing it up in threads that aren't about a new idea or proposal seems like hounding or bullying someone because you don't like their ideas. Not liking the ideas is cool, but the bully-like behavior isn't. If you find that someone on the Tavern brings out the worst in ya and you have a hard time not poking the hornet's nest, then probably you should add them to your ignore list under your profile.

(Unless the person who annoys you is me, 'cause you can't add mods to your ignore list. You gotta read my stuff, bro. You got no choice, sucka.)

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