The Tavern

The giant eyeball stares at you. You suddenly lose the ability to move!
The ogre shouts, "YES!"

Thankfully the ogre was confused, so I survived that incident.

2 two-headed ogres come into view.
The two-headed ogre shouts in stereo x2

Code:: Read which item? (? for menu, Esc to quit) As you read the scroll labeled UDAMAI RENE, it crumbles to dust. The sickly siren looks frightened! The snake looks frightened! The small snake looks frightened! It was a scroll of fear. The sickly siren cries, "Daddeee!" _You are no longer entranced.

A siren with daddy issues. What are the chances.

Your snake scowls horribly.

joellercoaster wrote:Your snake scowls horribly.

You... Gastronok! You made the poor snake scowl!!!

Just came across this.

Code:: You are a level 27 Human Earth Elementalist. I'm sorry, level 27 is as high as you can go. With the way you've been playing, I'm surprised you got this far. _Play time: 19:55:05 (112588 turns)

Squonk wrote:The giant eyeball stares at you. You suddenly lose the ability to move!
The ogre shouts, "YES!"

Thankfully the ogre was confused, so I survived that incident.

Oh dear... Captain Falcon was creepy enough in Smash Bros when he shouted "YES!"... now an OGRE?

Code:: Sorry, you're not good enough to have a special ability.

That's if you hit 'a' to use an ability when you have none. As unfair and sadistic as Crawl is in places, it amuses me to see one of the few places where it insults you outright.

Not to mention the response you get when you hit ^ without belonging to any religion... "You worship nobody. Atheist" - sounds rather mocking to me!

The deep dwarf necromancer jiggles.

(misled my mara, saw some jelly monster)

Oops, sorry, I realized that the "You worship nobody. Atheist" comes from ToME 2.x, not Crawl

_The Singing Sword makes a painfully high-pitched squeak.
_You are feeling hungry.

MyOtheHedgeFox wrote:_The Singing Sword makes a painfully high-pitched squeak.
_You are feeling hungry.

_ you butcher the rat

"You are engulfed in seething chaos. You feel much better."

Cerebov (radiating silence, severely wounded, steam, confused, badly poisoned, silenced)

"A door opens in the weird stuff that makes up Pandemonium! A midge opens the door."

"You try to scream, but you cannot breathe!"

I actually feel genuinely creeped out using Shadow Creatures in Elf:5, because of phrases like, "Your deep elf warrior says, 'I trust you totally.'" when you've just resurrected them from oblivion to fight for you...

Oh, and:

The eyeballs on your body stare at the midge for a moment.

You split the helpless Cerebov like a pillowcase!

"The giant eyeball stares at you. You lose the ability to move! The ufetebus tries to attack you, but flinches away. x8"

Alistair's Intoxication:

"[...]The effect is strongly focused on the user, however, so creatures with poison resistance still suffer its effect.

It is frequently used as an icebreaker at wizard parties."

wizard parties

wizard parties

Speaking about dialogs. Real dialogs.

paplaukes: suicides pay off sometimes
paplaukes: othertimes they kill of course

rhamnsis: small spells fit between the roof of the dungeon and the top of the shield
rhamnsis: larger spells dont

paplaukes: Sigmund shatters! /flex
rhamnsis: eat his flesh to get his powers

"Elf needs food, badly."

oh wait

"You drain the small snake!"

Ahh, that's a relief.

joellercoaster wrote:"You drain the small snake!"

Ahh, that's a relief.

Did you at least have the courtesy to do that in or near a Sewer portal?

joellercoaster wrote:"You drain the small snake!"

Ahh, that's a relief.

Or a disappointment.

"You are feeling under the weather."

If you've got this message, the accompanying (tiles) effect is pretty funny.

Your flayed ghost says, "I will never run around and desert you."

Dear Gods, did I just get rickrolled by Crawl?

The ogre is too close now for your liking.
The ogre shouts!
The ogre is blasted. You smell fresh blood in the distance. You smell fresh blood in the distance.
You smell fresh blood in the distance.
You blow up the ogre!
You smell fresh blood in the distance. You smell fresh blood. You smell fresh blood in the distance.
You smell fresh blood in the distance. You smell fresh blood.
My first use of a wand of disintegration. :3

joellercoaster wrote:Your flayed ghost says, "I will never run around and desert you."

Dear Gods, did I just get rickrolled by Crawl?

I got this one too, but even cuter:

"Nessos says, "I will never run around and desert you."
Nessos blinks

Not my favorite, but I was amused: :shock:

The deep elf mage gestures at you while chanting.
The bolt of lightning misses you. x2
The bolt of lightning hits the deep elf mage.
The deep elf mage dies!

You cling to the altar of Okawaru.

Heh....after inadvertantly trying to target myself with flame tongue....

"That would be overly suicidal."

Clearly, there's an acceptable level of suicidal, and I just tried to shoot right past that line.

prozacelf wrote:Heh....after inadvertantly trying to target myself with flame tongue....

"That would be overly suicidal."

Clearly, there's an acceptable level of suicidal, and I just tried to shoot right past that line.

viewtopic.php?f=17&p=56563#p56563 et seq., particularly viewtopic.php?p=56571#p56571 . Also viewtopic.php?f=17&t=4346&p=56645

LOL......I bow down to your lemming photo Grimm.

Clearly, I have not studied the proper level of suicidal-ness enough to date.

edit: ahhh, all of those links were hilarious. I can only await the time when we punish improper suicide with death, or long lectures.

"v - a crystal ball of energy"

Probably my favorite line in the entire game. Ever. A million times over.

Code:: You constrict the Killer Klown. The Killer Klown strangle-hugs you. You die...

Death by hugging.

Code:: Error! failed to place monster in tentacle connect change tentacle connect failed! What the heck!

I think it's a bug message, but I really liked the "what the heck" at the end.

Spoiler: show

Old one, but always amusing to see:

Code:: Xom revives you!

dpeg wrote:
minmay wrote:The Singing Sword may have a lot of lines, but it doesn't have many funny lines.

Your vaults are of very good quality and I know that you know it... but I wonder how you'd feel if someone came along and told you that most of them are uninspired and lame.
[Disclaimer: jpeg and I spent a lot of time on new Singing Sword messages.]

I love the singing sword. Only found it once, and it was outclassed by a randart I found two levels down. Kept on using it anyway, because I liked listening to it. I just love the idea of a singing sword that sucks so much at singing that enemies start to bleed from their ears.
I died because I didn't use that randart (it gave rf+ and I was playing a mummy) but it was totally worth it.

dpeg wrote:I'm a bit sad that no one has cited the Singing Sword yet. We gave that a lot of lines. So I guess we have to make it really overpowered and print "Read it? (y/n)" prompts after particularly good lines

Eh. Most of the old unrandarts could use a buff anyway.

It would be really nice to see the Singing Sword upgraded to demon blade base stats. It is far too good of an unrand from a design perspective to waste it on such a terrible weapon; I assume the good design was meant to be enjoyed, not tossed into a Lair:2 stash

The [strike]Singing[/strike] Screaming Sword is a lot of fun in Zigsprint. It's not like stealth serves you well there anyhow.

cerebov: well, in the latest round, the Sword got smite+area damage when it screams. We'd need a bit of feedback before upping it once more.
And can always do with more lines, of course

Has that been recently changed? In the implementation of screaming damage from several months ago (when I last used it) the Sword was quite useless - outside of zigsprint I see the ability as gimmicky. Zig characters in actual crawl probably want enhancer staves instead. I sadly can only see myself wielding it once on Orc:4 to clear up the masses, and on very early levels where it is good by merit of being +7.

It has been changed to do aoe damage, but the damage is rather small. I never really noticed it to be honest. Only know about the damage because of the wiki page.

Yes I know, as I wrote I tried tried it when the screaming damage was already implemented. I agree, it's not a big deal, though a great idea for the weapon (Singing/Screaming switch is very amusing).

Okay, so I will bring up a buff for the Sword sometime on ##crawl-dev then. Since the change from plain +7 sword to the screaming damage, we're now free to twiddle some parameters. Personally, I find it more interesting to have unrandarts on unloved weapon types which occasionally turn out to be useful, rather than on weapon types everyone loves to use anyway. For this, the special perk needs to be strong enough; this is why we need unrandarts for this (a randart cannot hope to claim combat usefulness if the base type is shoddy).

Also, it's been said already but is still worth repeating: there is no reason why unrandarts have to be strong enough so that you want to wield them from start to finish. Rather the opposite: if they're that good, chances are they're outright broken. It's alright if you dismiss any unrandart you stumble upon at D:26, only shaking your head a little. But your reactions should be more varied if you find it on D:7 or thereabouts. At least that's how I see it.

dpeg wrote:Also, it's been said already but is still worth repeating: there is no reason why unrandarts have to be strong enough so that you want to wield them from start to finish. Rather the opposite: if they're that good, chances are they're outright broken. It's alright if you dismiss any unrandart you stumble upon at D:26, only shaking your head a little. But your reactions should be more varied if you find it on D:7 or thereabouts. At least that's how I see it.

My problem with this is the rarity of unrandarts. I've played around 500 games, give or take 50. I've seen four unrandarts: The robe of sucking at everything, the flaming scimitar whose name I can't remember, the sword of zonagaeraaglarg, and the singing sword. The scimitar was the only one not outclassed by something I found in the next room. If they were more common I'd understand worrying about balance, but with the average drop rate being about one unrandart for every 125 games, the odds of finding a completely broken randart are much higher, especially given that the unrandart you get can be the robe of suck.

How long do your games normally last? I generally find at the least two or three unrandarts in a three/four/five-runer, and a whole bunch more if I go for more runes.

Code:: You feel a bloodthirsty glee!

Jabberwocky wrote:How long do your games normally last? I generally find at the least two or three unrandarts in a three/four/five-runer, and a whole bunch more if I go for more runes.

1-2 runes. Longest game was 6 runes, no unrandarts in that one.

c-c-c-clustering illusion

@dpeg, then how do you account for all the awesome unrands. I'm thinking of things like fencer's gloves, hat of the alchemist, tiamat's cloak, 4 winds? If you can find me a better pair of gloves than fencer's gloves or a better hat than hat of the alchemist that are not also unrands, I'd love to see which they are.

It headbutts your spiny worm zombie but does no damage.

The elephant is devoured by a tear in reality.

Such a great game.

Just got this today, not half as funny as the one above, but I think this at least deserves honorable mention:

Code:: The ogre mage hits the ogre with a spear! The ogre shouts, "NO!"

The Tavern

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