Just had my quickest game of crawl.

[megawidget]

  Code:

           0 Zinja the Vexing (level 1, 0/7 HPs)                               
             Began as a Felid Enchanter on May 30, 2015.                       
             Hit by a stone thrown by a hobgoblin (3 damage)                   
             ... on level 1 of the Dungeon.                                     
             The game lasted 00:00:19 (6 turns).       


[Turukano]

I asked sequell about my games and found that my "record" was 12 turns:

  Code:

12 | D:1      | Slain by a gnoll


I wonder which online game(s) was/were the fastest in turns ever. The command

  Code:

!lg * min=turns

does not work ofc because quitting as well as leaving the dungeon alive should be excluded. Maybe someone with more listgame knowledge than me can check this.

[Turukano]

Iirc there was a player who started as abyssal knight, was randomly teleported away in the abyss in turn 1 and died next (?) turn. He made a topic but that's a while ago and I don't remember the name.

[Sprucery]

I've scored 0 points twice over the years, with an Elven Monk and an Ogre-Mage Transmuter. No idea about turn counts though.

[Berder]

  Code:

<halberd> !lg * min=turn recent !boring ckiller!=wizmode
<Sequell> 770936. Tossi the Charlatan (L1 MuAr), shot themself with a puff of flame on D:1 (grunt_arrival_crossed_arrows) on 2015-01-05 06:07:47, with 0 points after 0 turns and 0:00:12.

There are many games that end after 0 turns. The first one I saw that isn't a self-kill is this:

  Code:

<halberd> !lg * min=turn recent !boring ckiller!=wizmode -5
<Sequell> 770934/770938. Gold the Digger (L1 FoEE), engulfed by a cloud of foul pestilence on D:1 (saegor_arrival_miasma) on 2014-12-21 06:18:00, with 0 points after 1 turn and 0:00:17.

[GlassGo]

Hilarious! ) Thanks for posting it. )

[duvessa]

The fastest crawl death is this game, where the starting location of the character had lava under it, killing it before most of the screen could even be drawn.
After that are the turn 0 quits, god abandonment, self-targeted spells, and walking into adjacent lava (wasn't possible online for very long, has only happened twice). There's also one turn 0 death to a mimic, since unlike plain monsters, mimic items weren't removed from LOS at game start.

TL;DR: don't play AK

[tasonir]

How'd the Mummy shoot themself with a puff of flame on turn 0? Is that a miscast?

And the second one sounds like a pretty nasty entry vault to have miasma in it. I assume it's no longer around, I don't recall ever seeing miasma at the start.

[rockygargoyle]

Wand of flame (Artificer)