The Tavern

Some time ago dpeg and I put together a collection of stupid and amusing deaths. If we missed any truly awesome YASD's, please clue us in.
Here's a sampling of what we have now:

• Falling into lava, after self-confusion, after a prompt.
• Self-zapping due to atrocious aiming.
• Chopping through a bunch of fungus to hang out with an oklob plant.
• Berserking to kill Dowan, then getting mangled by a berserk Duvessa.
• Killed by a ghost while attempting to reanimate remains. There were no remains. "Your body rises from the dead as a mindless zombie."
• Fell down the stairs in the Ecumenical Temple.
• Transmutation miscast of blade hands (99% fail rate) with no monsters around.
• Controlled blink into your own flame cloud.
• Killed by inner flame, courtesy of Xom, while "Xom's teddy bear".
• Killed by an angry efreet in Ice Cave.
• Killed by Donald and reflection. The player knew Donald had reflection.
• Killed by a mimic in The Bazaar.
• Blink + Paralysis + Acid Wall.
• Blown up by Margery while fiddling with jewelry.
• Beoghite who drowned after smiting his way to losing water walking.
• Removed a +Int amulet, causing stat death.
• Starved to death, while standing on food.
• Evoked a wand inscribed 'fully recharged', which was empty.
• Double blink into own OOD's
• Flew over lava while tornado was wearing off.
• Threw a wand at himself while fighting an ancient lich.
• Got the orb. Got burdened. Died trying to outrun creatures that would not be outrun.
• Died a 9 squares away from the exit.

Took off my amulet of stasis so I could teleport. Got paralysed by a giant eyeball.

This morning I drank a potion of haste to fight a player ghost, and killed it with 1hp remaining. I let a gecko approach and kill me instead of using the residual haste to walk to the up stairs which were in view.

I once died to a Dire Elephant by pillar dancing it so long that I starved to death because "Surely Energy Randomization is a more optimal escape option than scrolls of blinking!"

Like 4+ version ago I was once trampled over deep water in the Abyss by a Bone Dragon while my Tornado was expiring. I drowned.

I had a death where I escaped from Jory by Entering the Abyss, and then when I came back out he immediately killed me with an almost max-damage crystal spear.

I once died to slime walls, after killing the royal jelly, because I wanted to butcher and eat a giant eyeball corpse that was adjacent to 5 walls and then when I was at like 15 HP I tried to walk back through the slime corridor instead of blinking out.

I once dropped all of my potions to do the ice ending of Swamp, then after I picked them back up and was flying out of Swamp I had Caps Lock on and dropped all of my potions into deep water when I tried to stop being Burdened, then died 2 hours later in Vaults 5 because I couldn't cure poison or heal or haste, and I was Marked.

1) go to ##crawl
2) ??hilarious_deaths and ??embarrassing deaths
3) watch every single entry
There's 200+ deaths worth of material for you, enjoy!

Lets see: - purposely used shatter in Tomb:3. As a Spriggan. With no rN. Because the death curses cant be that bad all together, right? After having done Tomb >20 times.
Died in Hell, because I forgot I had Death Door available, after I went the extra mile to bring it online.
Died in Ziggurat, did not notice the expiration of Death Door.
Died in Ziggurat, slime floor. Forgot to buff up, which cost me time, which led to me not wearing stasis. ->paralysis.
Died in Zot:5. Had a Tornado/Zin-Spriggan going, cackled maniacly while trying to Tornado THREE Orbs of Fire simultaniously.Did not work. (actually I escaped by virtue of imprison... only to have a Killer Clown blink right in front of me).
Died in Orc:4. Had evoced Disc of Storms without rEle- because in an open area before it had worked, now the orbs rebounded on the wall.

Blazinghand got very poisoned from a zot trap in Tomb, no !curing. Distortion unwield takes him to the abyss, in sight of !curing. Apport it, pick it up, die of poison.

Minmay used LRD to attack something as a mummy, turns out the wall was sealing away an angel.

Walk downstairs to vaults:5, instantly get paralyzed by a monster stepping onto a Zot trap.

Die as a felid in swamp:5, get regenerated 2 spaces away from the lernaean hydra, firestorm yourself to death.

Drink cancellation on vaults:5 to get rid of marking while waiting for a tele to kick.

I had a death as a direct result of killing TRJ from about 1/2 hps.
On his deathblow, the walls became transparent, and I got paralyzed by a giant eye (whom I coudn't see prior to administering said deathblow) *on the turn in which the TRJ died* and I got obliterated by TRJ spawns with no chance to react.

I got that case too once, but luckily for me I free from paralysis with still 10-15% hp left

Some stupid death I remember:
- teleporting away cerebov 3 times, landing again each time near him before realizing I hadn't ctele active

- drowing as statue troll with expiring flight because I didn't realize a dragon had trampled me

- Being killed by a OoF and an hostile profane servitore because I didn't realize it got hostile by his own conjure ball lightning (bug fixed now, yeah)

- every time I say "fuck this char" and I decide to not use ?blinking, !haste, ?fear etc

Here's another one:

Died trying to rest off poison from an adder. Completely forgot that VM gets Cure Poison in their starting book.

My first online game ended with a 14 rune splat when I got put in pig-form by a Zot trap on Tomb:1 and then got Okawaru wrathed right near the stairs leaving Tomb.

The full morgue

It is a bug IMHO, game should not allow it. Recently I accidentally (pressed "zf" instead of "af", "a" is really close to "z") casted a 100% failure spell without getting any confirmation dialog.

I remember reading a reddit screencap about a character who got his gloves cursed on one of Coc islands and couldn't swap in his ring of flight. He starved to death.

On a DsHu^Dith I had just switched from robe of resistance to FDA and went back to stair dancing Vaults:5.
My miscast rate for Haste was 98% after the switch in armour, which I didn't check until after the paralysis. I probably didn't even need haste to kill them.

I also lost a DjAr^Oka with 14 runes in Tomb:2 to a Zot trap paralysis and stupidity. I survived the paralysis but I was in lich-form and thus couldn't quaff potions or cast Borgnjor's. I was on a streak after 15 rune wins with both a Lava Orc and Gargoyle right after the 3 were introduced, which made the death even more embarrassing.

Another late game death in Tomb, a NaWz^Chei with 11 runes who tried to escape an Orb of Destruction from Boris with a controlled blink. I was able to take him down with slouch but his orb just wouldn't give up.

A HoFi^TSO with 13 runes tried to apport the demonic rune from hellion island. 8 out of the 13 hellions cast hellfire that turn, killing me with -6 hp.

I'm sure I have plenty more but the late game ones are the ones that stick in my brain.

It warms my heart that so many of these are now literally impossible, thanks to no item-destruction, no item-weight, interface improvements, etc.

I can only count two deaths in this thread that are no longer possible (bottled efreet, cursed gloves) and neither one has to do with any of those things...

The prompt for flight expiring is now more visible and giant eyeballs no longer work through glass

Does having a negative resistance because you're not paying attention when swapping rings count? I died as a troll fighting a white draconian on D:27 outside the zot entrance, and only after dying realized that I couldn't heal through the ice damage (I was using heal wounds to try to stay alive) because I was at rC-...

Surely your reading comprehension can't be that bad. The "etc." in my post implies I'm referring to more than the specific elements I listed, and stickyfingers already pointed out two other cases where things that have since been changed/fixed were the direct cause of death. Here are some more:

Item weight:

Item destruction, item weight:

Bug fixes:

One could make a case that player stupidity, fatfingering, etc. can still cause deaths similar to these, but in these specific instances it sounds like the game itself was responsible for causing/encouraging/enabling the situation to become lethal in ways that would no longer happen.

I see sheep. I approach sheep to kill. I see Xom altar in the middle of sheep, and several messages that I don't pay attention to, and I go to kill the sheep, but I notice the unusual icons (which really, had I taken a moment to examine them, are just the inner flame icon with the confused icon), so I do an x-v on the sheep. I scan a few words, ignore the "inner flame" part, and I proceed to kill the sheep, exploding my wizard in the process.

It was written up here. And hallowed here.

hilarious_deaths[95/194]: !lg ereinion drwz place=snake:4 1 -tv

^ This ttyrec no longer works after the cdo migration (it got rid of all the old ttyrecs, really sad, no idea if they're lost permanently or just unavailable).

I'll summarize it:
ereinion finds Mennas in snake, casts haste, but gets a miscast effect and becomes slow instead.
Mennas immediately silences, enveloping ereinion.
After some running around and dying, ereinion tries out an unidentified wand on himself - it was hasting.
The turn after he dies.

My very first online game years ago. I didn't know the keyboard commands yet since I had only played local tiles with mouse before. I found a pair of gloves right away. I 'w'ielded it instead of 'W'earing it, replacing my weapon.

I died to the first monster I ever fought online trying to wimp slap it.

I had posted it in hilarious_deaths, but then ragequits are apparently Not OK so it went to hilarious_quits

and then some jerkface removed it from there
edit: fortunately i had it available in my ditto (clipboard replacement) database that i never clean

!lg 4tharraofdagon OgHu 68 -tv:<T330:>>

4tharra doing what he does best when suddenly a kobold blowguns him to inevitable death with no potions in sight
and so the mad scroll reading begins, and lo and behold - after reading one of two blinking scrolls he gets teleport and teleports into a new area...
..where there is a potion nearby! so he reads the last blink scroll and quickly chugs it down
You feel better.
all good now, now back to speedrunni- ANOTHER KOBOLD WITH ANOTHER BLOWGUN
You are lethally poisoned.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU
[ragequit]

edit: apparently he quit on turn 404 due to a lack of curing potions, so "error 404: curing not found" would be a fitting name for this

My all time most stupid death: Fly over deep (Cypt end) water with a Ring of Flight, rest over deep water, ignore the warning-> drown. I had Ice form memorised.

Close second: Get killed by Mara in Tomb 3 after clearing all mummies. Tried to escape with blink scroll, forgot I had Stasis amulet on to counter death curses, it was cursed by mummies death curses. Mara killed me on the same turn I got the amulet off.

I was fighting Nergalle, Eustachio and friends and decided to use a ?immolation. The plan was to blink away at the crucial moment and blast them all to pieces from afar. I whacked Nergalle to almost dead, then... forgot to blink away and just killed it, and myself in the process.

lol

8 strength deep elf got burdened after picking up orb, gets surrounded by Pan lords on Z:4, aims firestorm at self to hit all the demons at once, burns to a crisp after using up wand of teleportation (and dropped all 15 scrolls of tele to unburden myself).

I've forgotten most of my hilariously stupid deaths, but here are two relatively recent ones:

TeAE in mid-dungeon with weak melee spams tab into one of the new, enhanced white ugly things for no good reason.

A VM in early dungeon casts sting at a jelly twice before remembering sting doesn't really hurt jellies. Instead aims a wand of flame at the jelly, and then hits "repeat" twice, since it's still three tiles away. The macro / repeat action bug kicks in and causes me to cast sting, cast sting, wand of flame, cast sting, cast sting, wand of flame, and I'm dead before I get control back.

My favourites of my own deaths:
!tv minmay muee 1
!tv minmay muen 104
!tv minmay muae 6
!tv ptoannng 10
!tv minmay mube 83
!tv minmay nabe 7
!tv minmay muck 22
!tv minmay dshu 2

When it comes to stupid deaths, I've got some doozies. Please bear in mind that these were done while attempting to go for highscores, and do not in any way, shape or form reflect optimal playstyle. From least to most amusing (in my opinion), some that stick in my mind are:

4) VSMo (maybe Gl) ^ Chei. Have blinking scrolls and other escape means at disposal. Go downstairs to V:5 welcome party. Figure I'll play it "safe" and stairdance instead of burning piety slouching or using magic mapping + blink scroll to go to a more narrow chokehold. Aside from the vault guards, there were a couple of ettins in los of the stairs. Wait a turn, drag a few guards back up to V:4 and kill them. Heal up, cast buffs, go back downstairs...and die. Ettins decided to push vault guards out of the way, and got one-shot from ettins and guards connecting. Anger at self follows since in hindsight slouching would have been safer AND faster.

3) Some high-hp fighter-type character ^ Chei (probably Troll). Have just managed to survive TRJ without rcorr (I think without rcorr, also resist pots didn't give rcorr when this game was played) and clean up most of spwans. Heal up, switch back into normal armour and am ready to loot Slime:6. Spot leftover azure jelly. Cheicharge azure jelly. Get one-shot by said jelly at full health (around 150hp?). Remembered that "normal" armour was fire dragon armour...

2) Another high-hp fighter-type character ^ Chei (probably another troll). In pan, rushing through portals looking for demonic rune. Just finished a fight, at high health and low mana when going through portal. Am dumped on hellion island. No mana to slouch, so read blinking and wander around a bit while health and mana recharge (think I killed the panlord that spwans on the island while doing this). Read last blinking scroll back ON the island to slouch and get a quick run. Round of painful hellfire. Less than half health remaining. Slouch for the win...except hellions don't die in one slouch. Fiery death follows.

1) Some fighter-type character ^ Chei (notice a pattern?). Miasma swamp ending. Concerned about miasma and getting drained by spectral monsters, so figure will move forward a bit into where miasma clouds spwan, make noise, chug lignification potion for rot resist and rn+++ (was an unarmed character) and kill everything easy. Plan works beautifully...except lignification doesn't give rot resist. Painful death via miasma + creatures.

Thanks everyone for the deaths. We are a foolish bunch.

I once had a level 27 Beoghite Gladiator that starved to death with a backpack full of food. This is back when stashes were a thing, and I was picking up food for further hell crawling. I started starving, but I was running into so many meat monsters on the way down I figured I'd wait until my character started passing out before eating some of my precious hell-food. I didn't know characters could starve to death without passing out first, so that was a Nasty, Humiliating shock.

I saw a really hilarious death last night. A formicid of qazlal was on slime:6 and tried to set up a killhole in the slime walls - trying to use his mandibles, then opting to go with a wand of disintegration. Even with rCorr, 7 slime:6 slime walls surrounding you and the trj filling the remaining tile HURTS, and since he was formicid and taking more damage than he could even heal per turn, he was screwed the moment he decided to go for the idea.

^ Also the fact the dude literally dug his own grave/tomb, nice.

Maybe he thought the slime only coated the outer walls and he'd be safe if he dug further in.

Attacked a hungry ghost at very hungry, lost consciousness shortly after and died of starvation
ID'ing scrolls while worshipping Oka, got the butterflies from the random scroll, next scroll is immolation... Next turn is summons.
Same as above but with on a Beoghite and a bunch of knights... It wasn't pretty...

Not sure if this counts as a dumb death, but anyway!
I was playing a MfGl who was doing rather well and decided to go for extended.
Switched to TSO from Oka.
It was right about then I realized that TSO doesn't allow the use of evil weapons. And that the game hadn't generated any demon tridents save my two artefact ones: the demon trident of Risk Management and another one called the demon trident of Analysis. (Yeah...)
Had to make do with a +4,+4 trident of holy wrath, until I ended up dying near some stairs from some particularly nasty summons that Oka hurled at me after a fight.

Whenever I'm about to do something stupid in crawl now Risk Management and Analysis pops into my head.

Happened today with my MuDK who found +5 plate armour with Dex+2 early and had AC 17 before Temple. Soon it decided to read-ID some scrolls and read teleport first. Ok, good that I have recall allies abilities. Let's read another scroll while waiting for the teleport. Immolation. Ok, good that immolation only gives immolation status now, all my undead adjacent allies don't care about it. Still not teleported? Let's read another scroll, I am too impatient. Scroll of holy word...
It does not help that I knew that I should have read unknown scrolls on a level without allies, was just lazy to do it. This was first time when I laughed after a death.

My really bad-ass XL27 High-Elf Archer picked up the orb, started ascendeding, and was hungry

I tried to eat one of my numerous meat rations... But I couldn't! An orb of fire mutated me into an herbivorous and I didn't notice

I starved to death on D:2, with the orb in my hands...

I later realised that I could have win, because at this time potions used to give 40 nutrition...

I drop a tear everytime I see my elf in the highscore...

Something like this happened to me, offline. I thought it was going to be my first win.

I had a HEAK drown in Swamp because I didn't bother to drink another potion of flight. I was next to shallow water so I thought I'd scramble away. Turns out I didn't.

For a while my highscore was a HOBe who had drowned on cryptofortress_bobbens since i was planning to use scblink to get back to land when my flight started running out with only deep water in view.

Was almost dead from poison early game but would most likely lived since the status effect was yellow.

Had a stack of 4 potions, 3 and then 1.

Drink stack of 4 pots (figured it was cure or heal) to maker sure I didn't die, potion of poison makes it worse and sure 100% chance to kill me.

Drink stack of 3 pots potion of paralyses.

Dies to show last potion of the potion of curing.

YASD